Why Love When Its Hopeless?

Chapter 21.

~Shelby's POV~

Justin had dropped me off at my front door, saying someone would come to pick me up at 7 since the show starts at 8, well when he performs at least. I'm going to miss Cody and Carly perform. But I'm going on tour with them, so I think I can wait until the next stop.

I opened the front door with my house key that I keep under a plant in my front porch. I unlocked it, putting the key back and walked inside. I sighed looking around the empty house. I looked at my phone and I have 4 hours until a car comes to pick me up. I might as well pack first so I don't have to worry about over sleeping when I take my much needed nap.

I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get a bottle of water. I shut the fridge door, and walked up stairs. I opened the door to my room, I looked around and saw Justin's sweatshirt he had let me borrow last night. I walked over to it and picked it up. I brought it up to my face and smelt his fragrance. I know that may have sounded weird, but lets face it, you would do it too.

I put the sweatshirt on the bed along with the half empty bottle of water, and went to my closet and pulled out my suitcase. I might as well just start with one. I don't feel like carrying 3 suitcases. I opened up the suitcase and opened up randoms draws puting shirts-jeans-shorts-sweats-bras-panties-socks-pjs-and a couple pairs of shoes. I grabbed my bikini and shoved it in as well. Luckily most of the clothes I needed fit in the one suit case.

I grabbed a duffel bag, and put my body wash- my scrunchy- shampoo- conditioner- toothbrush- toothpaste- hair brush- hair ties- hair straightener- and my light makeup. I zipped it up and brought the suitcase and duffel bag downstairs, and sat them by the door.

I went back upstairs and grabbed my phone, and saw Justin's sweatshirt on the bed. I took it and slipped it over my head, taking in the scent. I grabbed my bottle of water and drown the rest of the water before throwing it away. I rolled up my sleeves, looked around the room, to see if I missed anything that I needed.

When I saw nothing, I walked into the bathroom and looked around. When my eyes trailed across the counter, my eyes stopped at a certain object. The thing that brought pain, and pleasure.

My blades.

I slowly walked over to it, not 100% sure if I should even consider bringing them. I could hear the voices again. "Come on! Just bring them! Justin won't know. Selena's gonna be there, he will more pay attention to her"

I took another step towards them. "That's it! Just several more steps. Justin, will be distracted. He won't know."  I took another step, the voices are so persuading. It's like I can't control my body. I took another step. I was one step away to be completely in front of the counter. My eyes never left my purple case full of my sharp blades.

"Come on. Almost there. No one will know." I took the last step, and laid my hand on the counter. "That's it, now the case. Grab it." I was hesitant. Something deep inside of me telling me to just walk away. But the voices were stronger, "Come on Shel." That stung. Eddie, was now running through my mind.

"It's your fault." Eddie said. 

"It's your fault he killed himself." "He would still be here. If you hadn't broken up with him, or ignored him, he would still be here." "You deserve pain. You are a murderer"

Tears were down running down my cheeks. My hear was pounding. My head ached the longer I stood there. I shook my head, trying to shake myself out the trance. I quickly grabbed my case to shut up the voices. I ran down the stairs and shoved the case in the side pocket of my duffel.