Things Get Better (I promise)

Chapter EIGHTEEN

"Josh?" Mark knocked on his door. He didn't want to talk to anyone.  "Josh, please open up." Mark said a little louder. "Please go away." Josh said a luttle quiet. "Josh, you have to eat. Please." He said and knocked on the door. Josh looked down at his arms. He put on a long sleeve swetter. He looked at his legs. He hated who he was. He didn't want to live anymore. He looked at his stumack, all he saw was fat and scars. "Josh!" Mark yelled.

Josh opened the door and walked right past mark, he walked down the hall and out of the building. He walked along the road where Tyler walked when he last saw him. Josh stopped where he talked to Tyler and sat down.

Is he ever coming back?

No

Are we going to be friends after this?

No

Does he even know that I miss him?

No

Josh heard the voice in his head, the dark voice talking to him when nobody else did. The one that made him cry himself to sleep. The one that made him cut. The one that pushes him to continue to cut. Josh knew the voice. He called it blurryface. It fitted him. Blurryface was Josh. It was Tyler. It was Debby. Blurry is everyone, but he can't be seen. Blurry is in our minds. Your mind. My mind. We all have our blurryface.

Josh started crying. He had a reason to why he was so angery, why he wanted to be alone. It was Debby. She hurt him. And he thought she was the one. He thought of her as his world. As his wife. As his diamond. He tried everything to not be in love with him. But he couldn't and Debby was druks so she.... did something Josh didn't want. And Josh just needed to be alone. He didn't want to look at Tyler. He loved him. And Josh didn't want Tyler to think that Josh is a whore. Because he's not. He just wanted to get Tyler off his mind. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. But he did. He was selfish and now Tyler is gone. He just wanted to call Tyler. He wanted do hear his beatyfull voice. He wanted to hear his soft voice. His kind, soft voice.

Someone walked by him and just laughed with their friends. "What a loser." Someone said. "Yeah, isn't he that dude that havent left his room for like three months or something?" A boy said. "Yeah." A girl said and lauged. He looked over at them and saw a short girl walking from them to him. Her hair was short and blue. "Hey." She said and sat down. Josh didn't answer. She was probably going to say how he acted like a little baby or something. "Is it okay if I sit down?" She said and looked at him. She looked serious. "Yeah." He said. His voice was shaky and it cracked. She hugged him. He felt safe. He felt like he was something. "I'm sorry if anything happened to you." She said while hugging him. "Its okay." He said a little quiet. "No, it's not." She said and looked at him. "You are sitting on the sidewalk all alone and crying. It's not okay." She said and looked up on him. Her friends had left a long time ago. "Why are you so nice to me?" Josh said and looked at her. "Because you need it. She said and smiled to him. "What room are you?" She said and rubbed his back. "162, you?" He said. Why did she want to know that? "133." She said and smiled. "Do you want me to follow you back?" She said and smiled. "Yeah, that would be nice." He said and smiled back. She helped him up. "Oh, and I'm Josh by the way." Josh said and looked at her. She was so pretty. "I'm Ashley, but most people call me Halsey." She said and lauged a little. "Oh, why do they call you that?" Josh said and looked confused, that was nothing like her name. "You see, if you take Ashley and take the H in front of the A and the L in front of the S you'll get Halsey." She said and laughed. Josh thought about it and it was true. "Oh." He said and laughed. "I like it, it's cute." Josh said and looked at her. She looked at him and they walked to his room.

They was in front of his door and Josh remembred that his room was really messy. He hadn't left his room in allmost three months. "Uhm, I'm sorry. Can you wait here a little bit?" He said and rushed inside his room. He shoved everything in boxes and under his bed. He cleaned up the bathroom and sprayed his parfume around the room. He opened the door and welcomed her in. She looked walked in. "Oh, wow! This is really nice!" She said and looked around. She sat down on the bed and looked over at the drums. "Can you play these?" She said and looked at him. "Yeah, but I'm not good." He said and looked away. "Oh, please! That's what they all say!" She said and dragged him to the drum stool. "Play something!" She said and jumped up and down. "Okay." Josh said and lauged at her. Josh started playing Bored to death by Blink-182. Josh sang softly while drumming.

"Wow Josh!" Halsey said and hugged him. "That was so good, and you have a really nice voice too!" She said and looked at him. Josh blused and looked at her. Halsey smiled and looked at him. She laid her hands on his shoulders and kissed him. Josh was a little shocked. So soon? Did she like him that much? Josh tried to pull away. This felt wrong. But she held his head. Josh was stuck. He tried to push her off him but she grabbed his hair and started to pull it. Josh felt tears sneak up on him, she kissed him down his jawline then grabbed his ass. "Ashley don't!" He said and jerked away. She pushed him to the floor and sat down on him so he couldn't move. "Ashley, what are you doing?" Josh said and looked up on her. "Oh Joshy, I know you want me. I saw it on your face when I walked by." She said with a baby voice. "I don't think you kno-" Josh tried. "Know what? That you love me and want me to love you too? Because I don't love you, and I don't know anyone who does. Why would a hot girl like me love someone like you? Huh?" Josh cried. This was what he was afraid of hearing. This was what his head said to him. And it was awfull, but when someone else said it out loud it was worse. "Can you please let me go?" Josh said quietly. "Oh so you can do what? Have sex with your boyfriend? What's his name?.......Tyler?" She said in a mocking tune. "He's not my fucking boyfriend." Josh yelled and pushed her off him. "And you can get the hell out of here! I don't ever want to see your ugly ass face again!"