new beginnings

Forever And Ever

I barely slept the entire night. I couldn't stop thinking about what I did and how I would tell Ron. So when he woke up, I was already awake.

"Morning babe," he smiled and cuddled up closer to me. I smiled back and ran my fingers through his hair.

He moved his head towards my chest and smelled it. He pulled away.

"Bleh. You need a shower," he joked. It's not like he was wrong, I really did need one, so I laughed with him.

"I'll go take one now, so you won't have to smell me," I got up and leaned against the bed. I smiled at him.

"Maybe I should go with you, in case you fall, y'know?" he said sarcastically. I laughed at him.

"It's never a bad thing to be safe," I said back. He smiled and got up, helping me go down the hall with him to the bathroom. Once we were in there, we locked the door and started disrobing. I kept my bandages on. It was pretty early, so I knew no one else was up.

I started the shower and we got in. He kept looking at me up and down and smiled, I was doing the same.

He put some shampoo in his hand and starting massaging it onto my wet hair. He kissed me.

I grabbed a washcloth and pumped some soap on it. I started on his shoulders and slowly worked down to his lower back. I kissed him on the neck then used my free hand to grab his ass. He looked at me and grinned. He returned the favor.

I washed his hair and then we got out of the steamy shower. I leaned against the vanity and dried off. I used my fingers to comb through my hair and I wrapped the towel around my waist, so did Ron. We walked out together and went to our room. I dried off the rest of my hair and then starting dressing myself. I put on the shirt Sarah made me and then I put on jeans, for the first time since I hurt my leg. I rolled up the remaining fabric on the bottom to where my bandage was, so it was out of the way. I finished by putting my hat, socks, and boots on. I felt really clean, physically at least.

I put the crutches under my arms and went downstairs with Ron.

We ate some breakfast. Well, not really breakfast. It wasn't big. Just some blackberries from the blackberry bush that grows behind one of the empty houses. It has a lot of weeds and stuff around it, and Ron and I discovered it a few days ago and picked a few.

He kept looking at me while we ate. He held my hand under the table, smiling.

How could I tell Ron?

We finished and went outside. Instead of sitting on the porch swing, I was okay enough to take a walk, like we did a lot before I got hurt. I didn't want the swing to become a place of sadness or anger.

We walked around the streets, breathing in the cool morning air. It's crazy to think that one person could be holding so much in and the other person doesn't have a clue.

I tried to think of a place to tell him. I know it wouldn't matter much, considering what I had to tell him.

We walked to a place in the way back of Alexandria, where we didn't visit often, since no one lived back there. We sat on the porch steps of one of the houses, sunlight beaming across Ron's face. I was silent, and so was he.

I took a deep breath. "Ron," I started nervously and faced him. "I need to talk to you..."

He looked deeply into my eyes and breathed in. He looked down and scratched his arm, since that's his nervous habit. He refocused back into my eyes. My heart was racing.

"Something happened last night," I shakily spoke.

"What happened?" he swallowed hard. He scratched his arm but continued to look at me.

"With Jordan," I tried to say as clear as possible.

His eyes looked down to his arm. He scratched harder. His arm was shaking and his eyes weren't as bright as they usually are.

"Ron, I-" my voice trembled.

"No," Ron interrupted. He put his hands over his eyes and exhaled.

"Please don't. I can't hear you say it," his eyes looked to mine as his voice broke more with every word. I started crying. He took me in his arms.

"Don't be mad, please," I whispered.

"I couldn't be. I understand why. Just don't... say it," he said. I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

We sat there, crying into each other's arms.

"Do you still love me?" I asked.

"Carl, nothing in this world could make me not love you. Nothing. You're my soulmate," he stroked my hair.

"But, do you still love me?" his voice was quiet. That question made my heart stop.

"I will always, forever and ever... I never should've done it," I said.

It was silent for a long time, except for the whimpers from the both of us.

"So, what do we do?" I asked and pulled away from him. His eyes were all puffy and his face was white and blotchy red. Mine probably looked the same.

"I... I don't know. I don't want to lose you," he said.

"I don't want to lose you either," I said. I held his hand.

"But... Jordan might have my baby," I cried out. His face went blank.

It was quiet for a few long seconds.

"If she does, we'll pull through. We pull through everything," he looked into my eyes.

It was the longest time before we got up. We started to walk away.

I never wanted to see that house again.

I felt a distance between us that I've never felt before. It's never been awkward between us, nothing like this.

We walked to the house without saying a word.

"I need to do something to make up for what I did," I said when we got to the porch steps. He turned to me.

"Two things. One, please don't cheat on me again. And two, give me a kiss," he half-smiled and leaned in. That kiss felt like all had been forgiven, but nothing could repair me for what I did.

Dad was in the house when Ron and I walked in. We said good morning.

"Morning boys. The Hilltop people will be coming in a little while, so be ready," Dad said.

My heart sunk. What if Jordan was one of them?

Ron and I resorted to the porch swing after making small talk with Dad, and sure enough the Hilltop people entered the gates, not all of them, just a few of the people from last night. They had supplies and stuff in the back of the trucks they were in. Ron and I stood up and walked over to them.

There she was, stepping out of the truck.

Jordan.