new beginnings

Shunned

Jordan carried me outside while Ron walked beside us. They walked into Maggie's house, which had no one in the kitchen. They walked into the living room, where Carol, Maggie, and Sarah sat on the couches. My heart instantly beat faster. Jordan sat me on a couch then sat by me. Ron sat on the other side of me.

We sat there in silence, just watching the three of them give me dirty looks. I shifted uncomfortably, clearing my throat.

"Look, this isn't easy for me, but I'm sorry," I said, head down.

"Sorry that Glenn died. Sorry that Daryl died. Sorry that Joel died. I killed two of the three, I know. Daryl shouldn't have died. Glenn shouldn't have, either," I said, forcing the words out.

"I was angry. So I killed Joel. I was still upset, so I killed Daryl. I understand that was unneeded," I lied a little with Daryl. Only Ron and Jordan knew why I killed him.

"Apologies don't fix anything," Maggie said, trembling. I lightly sighed, unsure what to say.

"I didn't kill Glenn! Blame Joel for that!" I exploded. Jordan gasped at my sudden outburst.

"You set him off! If Glenn never went in the house he wouldn't have died!" Maggie screamed, shaking. I could tell she's been wanting to say that. This was the first time she's truly yelled at me.

"He didn't die because of me!" I yelled back, now staring her deep in her eyes. She looked furious and stood up angrily. Her body was more slim than before, probably from not eating.

"You caused his death! And guess what, you caused another!" she said, now crying. I looked in her pained eyes, not understanding.

"I-I...miscarried," she said, and fell to her knees. My mouth gaped open, realizing Glenn's death made her unwilling to do basic necessities like eating and sleeping, which resulted in that happening. Guiltiness washed over me.

"I'm not talking about this anymore," I grimly said as Maggie sobbed and Carol continued to give me a dirty look. Sarah didn't know what to do as she was crying.

"You'll be sorry," Maggie mumbled under her breath. I thought nothing of it as Jordan was trying to get me off the couch as fast as she could. Ron helped her and they rushed me out of their house to our house. They sat me at the kitchen table while Ron rummaged around in the living room for something.

Ron came back and handed me a bag. I opened it and it contained all the weapons that were taken away from me, my knife, my two pistols, and my pocket knife. I smiled at him and he gave a warm grin back.

"Thanks, I don't feel right without them," I said. I tapped one of my front pockets and felt the two rings. Jordan had given hers back to me the night of the car crash because she wanted to wear it when we were married, not engaged. I kept my ring beside hers since then.

We hung out in the kitchen after that. Jordan made some lunch for us, which was soup. It was quiet, as I sat there, like the other two, thinking. I was thinking how much I did screw up everything, as it was my fault. I didn't want to admit it, but it was mine. I caused problems with Joel. Glenn chose to help me. He died. Maggie's baby died.

I ruined everything in her life that she loved.

Jordan noticed I was upset, and so did Ron. I began tearing up and I hid my face in my hands. They raised their eyebrows, concerned. I pushed the bowl forward.

"She's right. I did all of this," I confessed. Jordan started crying, too. Ron stood up and comforted me.

"You didn't do anything," Ron said. I shook my head.

"I ruined her life!" I said, hating myself more every second.

"Bring me to her. I need to apologize, even though it won't fix much," I said after clearing my head. Jordan picked me up and went out the door, Ron following.