new beginnings

Sixteen

"You have bipolar depression," she told me.

It had been two weeks since the whole incident with Joel, and things had worked out. We only saw him a couple times, but no words were spoken and no punches were thrown. We had been ordered to avoid him. Jordan had felt better about everything, and I kept the promise of that I would keep her safe from Joel.

Ron and I did have a lot of scratches and bruises on our faces for a few days, but I didn't mind at all. The bandage covered up some of the imperfections on my face and my bangs covered my forehead, so I didn't look too beat up.

We slept at the house we deemed "ours" since the three of us basically lived there. We put Jordan's bed into the bigger room with the two other ones, so we all were content with one another. Each bed had their own side of the room.

I had gone through all the emotions of losing a loved one before, so I knew what to expect.

Neither Ron or Jordan were taken back as a boyfriend or girlfriend. I felt so lonely. They offered as much support as they could, but it felt empty without them holding my hand or snagging a kiss to lift my spirits. They still competed for my love by doing all sorts of things for me.

So there we were, sitting in Denise's garage, being told my 'diagnosis'. I knew I was depressed most of the time, but I guess this confirmed it. Ron sat by my side, along with Jordan on the other. I sighed.

"You have all the symptoms. I studied this in college for part of a semester," she explained.

"Anything we can do?" I asked, shrugging.

"No, I'm sorry," she replied. "there used to be pills available."

I already knew this. Anti-depressants sold very well nearing the end.

"Well, alright. If there isn't much we can do, why does it matter?" I said.

"Well, uh... just so you knew," she sighed. I figured that was the end of the conversation, so I nudged Ron and he picked me up. Jordan got up and held me up on her side. Joel hadn't gave the crutches back.

They helped me out of the garage and we went to Sarah's, where we go often. We walked in to the smell of lunch cooking, which was tomato soup. I hadn't gotten bored of it.

I sat down and Ron and Jordan did the same. She served us the lunch and we began eating. Then I heard a baby crying. Sarah left and returned with Judith and Ava in her arms. I took crying Judith from her and comforted her, who eventually calmed down. I sat her in my lap and finished my food.

I felt really guilty because Sarah has been raising Judith for months. She deserves to be caring for her child, not my sister.

I handed her back Judith and Ron and Jordan helped me off the chair and to the door. The calendar caught my eye. I scanned it, landing on the day that wasn't crossed off yet. November twenty-seventh.

Wait.

It was Ron's birthday.

He shrugged at it when he saw it. "Oh," was all he had to say. I then realized that everyone just forgot my birthday, which was on October ninth. I didn't care that much, anyway. This was the first time looking at the calendar in months.

Hey. I was sixteen.

So was Ron.

"Happy birthday," I said, trying to smile.

"I had no idea," he said, looking closer at the calendar.

"I'm sixteen today," he smiled a little.

"Really?" Sarah noticed our conversation and walked over.

"Yeah," he said, not very excited. I didn't blame him. Birthdays weren't very fun anymore.