new beginnings

Advantages

I barely slept throughout the night because I worried over so many things. I felt like I was too harsh the way I put everything when talking to Ron and Jordan. But I had to think about what I would say at Dad's funeral, if I was even going to talk or not.

The sun was barely up when I got dressed. I put on a flannel and yesterday's jeans and made sure my hat was at an angle where it wouldn't be easy to see my eyes. Just to be sure, I brushed my bangs so they would be in front of my eyes, kind of how Daryl does it.

I slowly made my way down the stairs to the kitchen. Neither Ron or Jordan was downstairs. I turned on the lights and started making coffee, which I usually never have.

I opened the cabinet and saw that the mugs were on the top shelf. I tried my best to reach for one but instead hit it. It fell down onto the floor and shattered. I held my breath because it was really loud and someone would probably notice. In seconds footsteps rushed down the stairs.

Ron and Jordan quickly looked around and breathed a sigh of relief when they saw I was standing and uninjured. Ron was soaking wet with a towel around his waist. The shower upstairs was still running. I tried to keep my eyes off of him. Jordan was fully dressed.

"It's alright guys. I dropped a mug," I explained.

Ron's cheeks became red from embarrassment, apologized awkwardly, and ran back upstairs into the bathroom. Jordan didn't move and chuckled a little. She walked towards me.

"I'll clean it up, don't worry," she said and started picking up the pieces.

"You don't have to," I said. She looked up and forced a smile.

"It's okay. Not a big deal," she finished picking up and dumped the handful into the trash. Without a word, she reached up to the shelf and grabbed two mugs.

"I've had coffee like once, but I really need some," she said and handed me a mug. I filled mine up then filled hers. Ron came down the stairs with wet hair but was dressed. He saw the coffee and pulled a mug from the cabinet. I filled it up.

"Thanks," he said and we all made our way to the table and sat down. They both had bags under their eyes.

We sat and drank in awkward silence. The coffee was bitter since there wasn't any sugar or sweetener. It felt very different to not sit extra close to someone and hold their hand under the table.

It didn't take long for us to finish our drinks and we put them in the sink. Our morning habit went without saying and we all went outside.

The cold wind slaps us in the face as soon as we go out. This must've been the first 'real' day of fall.

"Up for walking?" Jordan asks me.

"Yeah. Let's go," I said and led the way off the porch.

Right then we saw Glenn and Maggie outside on their porch. They looked at us and Maggie wiped her face with her hand and went inside the house. Glenn walked up to us.

"Morning guys," he said. I was curious about Maggie. Why did she go inside after seeing us?

"Hey," I replied.

"So uh, I took the liberty of setting up the uh, funeral. It's in half an hour, alright?" He said, kind of stuttering.

"That's fine. At the Church?" I asked.

"Yeah. You planning on... speaking or anything?" He asked awkwardly.

"...Sure." I replied.

"Okay," he nodded and walked off.