new beginnings

Ava

I woke up, in a bed, confused. I felt drowsy and disoriented.

I felt someone stroking my hand. I couldn't open my eyes. I felt like I didn't know how. I let out a soft groan.

"Rick! He's awake!" Ron's voice said in an excited whisper. I heard rushed footsteps.

"Carl?" I heard my dad say softly.

I slowly raised my hand to feel my face. I felt a bandage on my eye.

"Can I tell him?" Ron asked. I heard footsteps going out of the room and a door shut.

"Am-am I blind? I can't see!" I said with all my strength.

"Carl, here's the entire story from when you passed out. My mom tried to shoot you and kill you, but she fired and just as she was doing that Rick pulled her arm... she shot you in the eye. We think she missed your brain. But... your right eye is completely gone. It went through the side of your head. Your dad was yelling, trying to hold my mom back, and I thought you were dead. Before you fell, she shot you in your lower leg because Rick was holding her arm down. She shot you there again. I picked you up and carried you to Denise. She thought you were dead because it might've hit your brain. She did all she could that it wouldn't get infected. Then she moved to working on your leg. It was pretty bad, so she had to amputate it up to just below the knee. She kept as much as she could so maybe we could get you a prosthetic sometime. I've been sitting here with you, reading, since then. I'm so sorry," his voice kept breaking.

I started crying, but I could only feel tears roll down on one side of my face. It was an ugly, loud cry. I couldn't stop. Ron tried to comfort me, but he couldn't. He just held my hand as I sobbed and sobbed, with only one side of my face with tears. I felt down and touched what was left of my leg. I cried even harder. Ten long minutes was full of wailing. I cried so hard I started shaking. I felt so embarrassed to act like this in front of him. I eventually stopped, but not completely.

I tried to open my eyes, hoping I wasn't blind. I could see. I looked around. I was in the bed meant for Sarah's birth. I saw out the windows that it was dark and the room was lit from a candle. I looked over to Ron. It was obvious he was crying along with me.

"I want to see," I broke out. My voice was cracking.

He picked up a mirror from the stool. He held it up to me.

My right eye was covered with a white bandage. My face was red and pale white. My hair was drenched in sweat and my hat was off, so was my shirt. My pale chest had been exposed this whole time. I didn't like the way I looked at all. I started to cry again.

"I-I look terrible," I said through my tears. Ron told me I still looked handsome, but I didn't believe him.

"Tell me your mother is dead," I said very boldly when I was done crying.

"She isn't," Ron replied quietly.

"I want her dead!" I screamed with all my strength. My voiced cracked. It was obvious I hurt Ron's feelings a little.

I saw Dad come in. He sat down on the other side of the bed and tried to comfort me. He said he was relieved to see I was alive.

Then I heard screaming. It was Sarah.

The door opened and Sarah and Denise came in. Denise was holding Sarah up.

"Sarah's about to have the baby. We need to get Carl up," Denise said to Dad.I felt guilty that I was in her spot.

Ron helped me stand. I shakily stood on one leg and he helped me onto a chair. Sarah sat in the bed.

"We need to get Carl into a bed. He needs to rest," Denise told Dad.

"No, I want to stay. I wouldn't miss this," I said.

"Carl, you need to rest," Dad said.

"Please."

One word convinced dad to let me stay. Dad left, Ron pulled up a chair beside me and put my hat on my head for me. Then, Bryan came in with Maggie. They shut the door and everyone was rushing to get things in order, except me.

It was a long hour for everyone. Sarah was finally fully dilated and it was time. Ron helped me up and held me up to watch the birth. It turned out that Maggie, Ron, and I were the only people that Sarah wanted at the birth with, of course, Bryan and Denise. That felt good to know.

Then it happened. After all the screams from Sarah, and Ron gagging at the sight, the baby was out. The only things that were heard was the baby's cries and my crying. I was surprised to be crying from joy. It was an amazing experience. Sarah held the baby on her chest, gazing at the newborn. Bryan had a wide smile, and so did the rest of us.

"It's a girl!" Sarah cried. I felt so happy. I was secretly hoping for one.

"What are you are you going to name her?" Ron asked excitedly.

"Ava, after my sister," Sarah smiled. I thought Ava was a beautiful name. Denise took Ava and started to clean her up. She bundled her in a white blanket and put a small baby blue hat on her head.

"Carl, do you want to hold her?" Sarah asked. She was clearly avoiding looking at my bandage.

"It would be an honor," I smiled and carefully held Ava. Ron and I looked down to her, smiling. After a minute or so I gave her back to Sarah. I felt exhausted and my head was throbbing, but I didn't care. I was so happy. Then, Ron insisted that we should go to bed. He was concerned that I might have been up too long. And when he helped me in bed at dad's, not Sarah's, I couldn't fall asleep when he left. I felt lonely. But, my exhaustion got the best of me and I fell asleep.

I was more focused on Ava than I was with my lifelong injuries.