new beginnings

Same Boat

I woke up against all the odds.

I was cut in the face a couple times, beaten multiple times, and had my wrist slit open again. I saw my wife almost get raped and get cut on her face. I really thought I was dead.

But, I woke up in a hospital bed, feeling the burn of rubbing alcohol on my face.

"Aghhh..." I grimaced, clenching my teeth.

"You lived," I heard a familiar voice say. It was Marsha.

I coughed, and took in a deep breath, playing all the moments in my head. It felt like a nightmare. "Jordan," was all I could say.

"She lived, too. She's taking a nap right now... don't worry," Marsha said.

I shook my head. I was supposed to have respect and be Negan's best friend. I was supposed to have a great life here. Jordan was supposed to be treated like a princess.

So many broken promises.

"Day," I said. It sounded more like "d-uhh-ay" with my small, weak voice. She seemed to understand what I meant.

"A day has passed. You have been in critical condition this whole time... no one was sure if you were going to make it. You lost a lot of blood, but a man provided blood for a blood transfusion," she said. I found it hard to breathe.

"Who died?" I whispered.

"Dwight, Negan, and all of his wives."

My heart skipped a beat. Those first gunshots were Negan and Dwight. Someone had shot the women afterwards.

They killed themselves to save Jordan and I.

I started to shake. They sacrificed everything for us.

"Who... killed... wives?" I said in-between my breaths. I was really in shock.

"A guy who overheard gunshots, he was in the hallway about to tell Negan something. He was angry at his wives because he knew they killed Negan and Dwight. So they just fired at them and didn't do it to you and Jordan," she said.

"So... who's going... to r-run... Sanctuary?" I tried to calm down.

"That's up for debate right now," she said. I kept quiet, since I was out of breath.

"...You don't know how lucky you are, Carl," Marsha said quietly, cleaning the wounds on my wrist. It stung really bad.

"I know you're going to be like, 'I have a missing leg and cuts all over me' and so many other things, but really. You are so lucky you haven't died after this long. If you were to be left there for just... five minutes, your ass would've been dead. And if it wasn't for someone who had your blood type, and if it wasn't for Jordan to tell us what it was, you wouldn't have been saved," she waved her hands as she spoke, pausing the disinfecting.

"But you don't get it. Those women gave up their lives to save you and Jordan. Just think, before you start complaining, that things could of been way worse," she shook her head.

"I know I don't know you well, but everyone acts the same these days. People complain to complain about how unfair it is. We're all in the same boat," she sighed. "so, be grateful for what you've got."

My body was too sore and my head hurt too much to really think about what she said.

"How... did the blood loss not kill me? Last time... I did this... I was in a coma..." I said, trying to keep my tone nice and understandable. I've heard from plenty of people that I'm irritable when hurt.

"I saw that scar, they must have not gone over it. From its looks, it was deep. These new ones were more just on the top of your skin," she said. I didn't like that my scar was still there, but now I'll have plenty more.

Something was really bothering me, and I didn't know why. "Take the bandage...off my eye."

I had been wanting to, but I wasn't sure. I typically don't like walking around without my bandage, because it grosses people out. But it was sweaty and dirty and hadn't been changed for a while. So, Marsha reluctantly took it off and tried not to gag.

"Uh... do you want a new bandage on it?" she asked, more like suggested.

"No," I said sternly. People were just going to have to accept my eye and how gross it is. If I had not taken it off, the whole side of my face would be covered with bandages.

"I already stitched them up yesterday, since you were passed out," she said, nodding towards the side of my face. I nodded.

Marsha left after that, going off to who knows where. I sat up and groaned. I found a wheelchair at the foot of my bed, and trudged toward it, aching.

I sighed and sat down, and used my good hand to push myself some, and used my legs to move along. Behind a curtain, I found Jordan on one of the hospital beds, sleeping. I stood and shook her gently.

She opened her eyes and saw me. Her arms tugged me down, and I got on the small bed. She shook her head and cried on my shoulder.

"I'm so... so sorry. I should've protected you, I should've known be-"

I was cut off by Jordan shushing me. "Carl Grimes... I'm just happy you're alive," she said.

"Jordan Grimes..." I rubbed the back of her head, silencing myself. I knew my words could wait. I kissed the side of her head.

Laying beside her somewhere that wasn't a grave was the last thing I thought I'd do. But, somehow we made it.

In Mom's words, I was beating this world.