LoveAffair( mxm )

11

"Where are you?!"
Thomas' voice could be heard by Timothy through Archibald's phone, he was angry , that was a sure thing. Archibald just held the phone away from his ear, letting Thomas rant and shout all he wanted. Timothy decided it was a good time to pop another pill because an headache was starting to form and really just because one pill wasn't enough to calm the pain he was in, he shifted in his seat , wincing before he took the pill with a bit of water. They already finished breakfast, what they didn't finish was taken away by two hotel staff Archibald called by the intercom next to the elevator. Timothy wanted to go back to sleep but he wasn't sure he'd be able to climb up the stairs without looking funny and have Archibald make lewd comments and he also didn't want to have Archibald carry him again so he did the next best thing - he strolled to the living room area and carefully laid on the couch, leaving Archibald to Thomas' merciless scolding. He wished for the pain killers to already take affect so he'd have one less problem to deal with, for now all he could do was rest and hope his body would have enough energy in a few hours for him to be able to drive home. He closed his eyes and thought over the events leading him here- he got Carmichael alright, just not in the way he thought he would. For how long Archibald was planning on continuing this? weeks ? months? how long till he'd have his fun sated?
Timothy had to admit to himself that deep down he didn't really care, he didn't saw it as more than great sex. A normal person wouldn't have take it as easy as he did but then again he wasn't normal, at least not by his parents' standards. He craved men, craved their scent, their touch and the pleasure they could give him and maybe this whole ordeal could be used in his favor, he didn't need to seek out men when he had Archibald and surely Archibald was more than enough to satisfy him. The problem was his personality, he was an irritating bastard that acted as if he owned the world, and maybe he did but it still annoyed Timothy, it took real strength to stand through his arrogant, teasing and over all peeving self without punching him. Timothy also had concerns regarding his father, Archibald promised to keep it discreet but what if it somehow got to his father, ? how would he react to that? Timothy didn't hear his father say anything in particular about the fact Archibald was gay, he was only seeing him for his status and position - a rich businessman. He didn't know if his father accepted the fact Archibald was gay because of business or if he chose to ignore that fact, the only indication it did bother him was when they were having  breakfast and Lizzy revealed it- he didn't say anything but his hard face and the look in his eyes was enough. He just hoped that this all business with Archibald would not drive him insane with those thoughts.
Timothy drifted off, letting sleep sooth him.

He woke up two hours later, feeling refreshed and more energized although still exhausted and sour. Archibald was no where in sight. He was a bit hungry so he made his way to the kitchen hoping Archibald had the decency to store food in the fridge and not leave it empty. There were a few fruits and vegetables, yogurt, eggs, milk and more basic stuff. He settled for yogurt and a few fruits he cut himself, he sat in front of the TV, turning it on , he switched channels before settling on some drama he didn't know .
He heard steps and turned to see Archibald dressed in a simple v-shirt and jeans that complimented his figure, he looked so good even without a suit. " I see you're awake " he came and sat next to Timothy, taking a piece of apple from his plate.
"Where were you? " Timothy asked curious as to where he could've gone in such an informal wear.
"Missed me?"
Archibald smirked at him and Timothy just rolled his eyes.
"I was tending to my dog, Oscar gets lonely when I don't spend the night at home, that and he needed a walk."
"You have a dog? I didn't see one when..." he trailed, coughing embarrassed as he remembered the time he spent at Archibald's place .
"He hides when I bring strangers home" Archibald chuckled .
"Do you bring strangers home a lot?" Timothy asked, frowning as Archibald grabbed the remote and zapped through the channels. " I was watching !"
"Just checking if there's nothing better to watch, and yes I do bring strangers home a lot, fun is my top priority remember? " he bragged.
" One of your top priorities, the other being work if I remember correctly , so how did it go with Thomas? " Timothy grinned as Archibald sighed defeated.
"Let's talk about something else ". he groaned and took another sliced fruit. "I prefer to watch TV, this drama is really good " Timothy concentrated back on the TV , he wasn't in the mood for any further conversation and frankly what could they possibly talk about? He'd rather have some sort of distance kept between them, after all that man wasn't his friend, he was merely looking to be entertained . "And I prefer we talk ," Archibald grabbed the remote and turned the TV off,  Timothy glared at him. "my place, my rules, you're here for my fun after all and right now I'm bored seeing that I can't fuck you. Well I can fuck you but I'm being  considerate  "
Considerate my ass  Timothy pinned the man with an irritated stare.
"Fine. Talk!" he huffed .
Archibald shifted on the couch, bringing his head to lay in Timothy's lap, he stared at him and Timothy was feeling uncomfortable - that position  could only be described as unnecessary.
"What?" he asked dryly as Archibald continued to stare at him.
"When did you know you were gay? "
Timothy's eyes widened , that was unexpected and personal but didn't seem to faze the business man, he obviously didn't know what personal was or for better measure he didn't care. I'm here to entertain him after all. He never had to face such a question- When exactly did he came to realize he was gay? when...
In his mind he could see himself again as a young teenager,  roaming his high school hallways before morning classes started, he stood in front of his locker and took out the books he needed, cursing when one of them slipped and fell to the floor. He balanced the rest of the books and was ready to crouch down to pick it up when someone beat him to it and offered him the book, he glanced beyond the helping hand and froze , his heart raced and he found himself assaulted by feelings he didn't know , mesmerized and in shock as the boy smiled at him.
"Hi,  I'm Seth. "
Timothy never felt this way before,  he never felt attraction towards the opposite sex or had any thoughts about boys, unlike the rest of the kids his age he was quite reserved. He never found it odd that he had no relationships whatsoever with girls, he had offers but he always turned them down because he wasn't interested and there comes this boy,  Seth and it's like something exploded inside of him.
Seth was new, it was the middle of the year and he was expelled from his previous school, he was a trouble maker and Timothy thought it was best to keep away from him, that and he was afraid of what that boy ignited in him, but it wasn't long before his attraction to him and Seth's unrelenting advances won and dared him to explore this new uncharted land.  Seth helped him see how beautifully scorching a love between two boys could be, how maddening it could make him and he loved it, craved it. And those strong newfound feelings led him innocently to think his parents would accept him , Seth  encouraged him to talk to them and from then on his world crumbled down, spiraling as he faced the harsh truth - they thought it was wrong,  forbidden,  his father was hurt because of him and that led him to push Seth away, to push his feelings away.
"I was fifteen," he shook his head and  stared down at Archibald,  hurting at the memories " I was fifteen when i first realized I was gay " he admitted out loud.

_____________________________________

Archibald asked because he was bored, he asked because he wanted to tease him, because he found it amusing that this man was the cliche closet case, or at least so he thought but as those stormy emotion filled dark blue eyes stared at him, shimmering with pain  he wasn't so sure of himself.
It isn't right
He thought to himself as he stared back at those eyes. That pain shouldn't be there and he didn't know why it bothered him that it was.
Archibald was a good judge of character and prouded in being able to figure people out at nothing but first glance but as he stared at that man he couldn't help but feel there was much more to him than he first thought and he was... intrigued.
"What about you? "
Timothy asked, his calm posture settling back , he stretched to take another piece of fruit from the plate on the table, getting close enough to Archibald that he could feel his heat.
"I always knew, I never wanted girls, only boys and I made it pretty clear to everyone when I tried to kiss all the boys in kindergarten " Archibald chuckled at the memory, he did it as a rebellious act after the caretaker asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up and he answered 'marry a prince ', she answered that boys could only marry princesses and being the wild child he was he didn't take it well.
"Of course you were looking for fun even back then," Timothy shook with laughter "and kindergarten?  really? I thought you were raised at home with a nanny or something ". he couldn't picture Archibald as a kid getting along with other kids.
"My parents thought it was a good idea, they didn't want me to grow lonely or spoiled" Archibald shrugged yawning.
"And what about school? "
"I went to a private school, an all boys one, " his lips tugged to a smirk " and I did have a lot of fun there " he winked at Timothy who scowled at him.
"You're outrageous " he placed his hand unconsciously on Archibald's hair, playing with it.
"Say..." he hesitate " Your parents... are they okay with you being like this?"
Archibald watched him closely "Why wouldn't they be? I'm their son, my orientation doesn't change who I am. The last thing they should care about is who I'm hooking up with."
Timothy nodded slowly, it was hard for him to grasp that, it wasn't like that in his family... why couldn't it be?  Archibald had the life he wanted, as a free man .He didn't hide who he was and he didn't care what others would say or think about him, he was at the top of the world and no one  cricized his preferences.
Timothy envied  him.
"What about you? when will you admit to your parents that you're gay? you can't keep up the pretense for long you know, you'll have to tell them and your wife one day , you can't live in denial. "
Timothy's hand stopped moving, sudden cold grabbed him hearing that. It wasn't like that, he already told his parents,  he already confessed,  long time ago he did and what good did it bring?
He was indeed living pretense life, keeping up the appearances of a good husband, a good son , but every now and then he'd let himself slip, let himself seek sanity in the arms of strangers . He felt trapped, suffocated and tired of his life,  life he didn't want, not like this . He had a beautiful wife, a dream job, money and status but all of that didn't bring him joy, didn't comfort him in the least,  all he wanted to do was run.
It wasn't that his parents didn't know and he was afraid to tell them,  oh they knew and they loathed him for it for awhile,  refusing to acknowledge him until he'd come to his senses,  until he'd find a wife and forget about being  gay because he was shaming them, hurting them. He brought his own father harm, causing his health to take turn for worst.
So yeah, maybe in others eyes he had it all but inside he felt like he had nothing at all.