STAY · Thomas Sangster x Reader

-twenty two-

"To: Ms. Y/l/n

............

The result on your test performed a few days ago shows a finding on your breast and liver that requires further evaluation. It is important that you have another test performed.

..........."

Another test? Seriously? I decided to have the test today. The sooner I will the sooner I'll know.

Ever since I read the letter my mom gave before she passed away, I've been thinking about Thomas. If the cancer I have now gets worst I wouldn't like to put Thomas in the same situation as my dad with my mom.

I was thinking I should tell him but he worries alot and I don't want him to. I know he'll leave work just to take care of me and isn't that selfish? He should make a living so he'll be able to live the life he always wanted, and for me to distract him is just wrong.

.....

Okay, so the test just finished and they told me I should have my results this afternoon. I told them I wanted to get it in the hospital because Dylan might see it and I am not yet ready to tell him.

Does dad know about this? Mom probably told him

I am taking the bus to the mall. It's been a while since my last shopping.

It was with my mom. Just the thought made me tear up.

.......

After going to the mall, I went back to the hospital but I still had 30 mins. I sat outside and decided I'd call Thomas and ask about his day but he was gone for only a few hours so he might not even be there yet. I dont know.

So I sat on one of the benches in the park.

"Hey" a little girl sat next to me. She's bald. And that's when I know she has cancer.

"Hey" i replied.

There was a moment of silence before she spoke again.

"Are you afraid of death?" she asked.

What?

"Why'd you ask?"

"My parents are. But I'm not. I think I am ready but they don't like the fact that I am not getting better at all. There's nothing they could do to help me but they always find something to make it slower. But they don't get it, I feel worst every day... Sorry I just felt like opening up to a stranger.

"Then tell them what you feel. It's okay I actually understand you."

"Well thank you, I have to go nice meeting you, I'm Angel by the way"

"I'm y/n, nice meeting you."

Wow. I didn't know someone so young would have to think about death that way. I don't understand the world. All I know is that you should not regret getting older, it is a privilege denied to many.

Life. It's a game. We are all in the same game just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

.......

I went back in to meet my doctor in 2 mins. I sat in the waiting room and the same little girl passed and before she went to what I guess is her room, she gave me a smile. How can someone so miserable be that positive.

"Miss y/l/n your doctor's ready for your results"

I got up and went inside the room. White, pale always so boring. Why can't they have rainbow painted rooms here.

"Have a sit please"

I didn't realize I was staring at the blank wall till he said something.

"Miss. I'm really sorry but you are diagnosed with lung cancer, and the findings in you breast wasn't really there but it was your heart"

What? He was saying something but I completly froze in my seat.

"Miss we have to check you in. If not this will get worst."

Checking in means they have to call a member of my family. Which means Thomas will know and I'm still not ready.

"No. I'm sorry."

I walked out of the room.

.........

What did I just do?

It will get worst.

Lung cancer.

We have to check you in.

It's just alot to handle.

Are you afraid of death?

I'm not.

Death.

.