reckless - h.s / mature content

43 - lies & honesty

Millie

To say Officer Landon's words were helpful, was an understatement. His words were running through my mind, blocking out the hateful words of a man, I did not want to think about anymore.

A few weeks have passed. I mostly spend the time with Harry, my life slowly going back to normal. Of course, it was not easy to forget about everything, but I had my friends and my amazing boyfriend to help me. I even contacted Isaac after I finally got my phone again.

Not to mention that he was furious, but he got over it. Since then, we talked a lot more than usual and he even planned on coming soon.

I missed Isaac terribly. He was there for me when everybody else turned their backs and I would forever be grateful to have an brother like him. He was my best friend and forever will be, more than a brother.

But, I noticed some things. Since Harry and I were at the police station, I felt Harry distancing himself from me. Almost not noticeable, though it was more mentally than physically. I noticed it in small things. Him, waiting until I fell asleep and then leaving. Sometimes he didn't came back to bed, until my alarm rang. He thought I wouldn't notice, but he should know me better than that. I saw, when I told him a story, his laugh fading as soon as he turned around. Like, his mind was so busy with other things, that he didn't even listen. I noticed, how he took more shifts at the bakery, just so he could get away.

But mostly, I noticed the lack of 'i love you's.

Not that he didn't say it anymore, it just got less. Somehow, we went from throwing those words around all the time, to barely saying them anymore.

Something was bothering him, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I asked him several times to talk to me, but it almost every time ended in us screaming at each other, which ended in him coming back and apologising and make up sex.

I hated it. I felt so helpless around him. It made me feel insecure, to a point where I'm asking him if it would be okay to take a shower.

I haven't got into my apartment that much anymore. The memories haunting the four walls I once called home. I just packed my most important stuff and moved it downstairs to Harry.

He agreed to it, he was happy about me 'moving in'. But, that faded after a few days.

Right now, the situation was worse than ever. I was placed on a chair at his table, he sat in front of me, scrolling through his phone. I tapped my nails against the wooden table, trying to get his attention, but it was no use.

I pushed the knife off the table, making Harry flinch. He looked up, eyebrows furrowed and eyes locked into mine. "Sorry." I mumbled, even though it was my intention to make him look at me finally.

"It's okay." he smiled slightly, making me grip the knife I grabbed from the floor.

I was ten second away from losing my patience.

"Harry." I snapped, after he focused on his phone again. "Yes, love." He answered mindlessly. "Fuck," I cursed, "talk to me for gods sake." I yelled, seeing Harry roll his eyes.

"What have I done?" I asked him, standing up from my chair. "Have I done anything to upset you? Have I said anything?" I asked him, throwing my hands up in frustration.

"Please, don't let us have this conversation again." He pleaded, looking up to me. "It's nothing. Really." He said, not an ounce of sincere in his voice.

"I can't do this anymore." I stated, making Harry furrow his eyebrows, finally an emotion behind his eyes.

Hurt.