reckless - h.s / mature content

35 - life lessons

Millie

A week has passed.

Seven days.

168 hours.

Seven days where I haven't seen Harry or heard from him. One morning I had a box full of my stuff in front of my door. My clothes, my make up I left there, pictures he had framed of us. It teared me up. There was not one day where I haven't cried my eyes out. The pain I felt in my chest was almost unbearable.

Do you know, that kind of pain you get, when you remember something tragic. It doesn't even matter what, if it's a boy, a lost friend, a part of a movie or a song. It's when you listen or remember that part, there is this pain in your stomach, it feels like being stabbed multiple times. This feeling was consuming me right now.

I didn't even care about the bruises I had or the scratches I had on my body. Elliot was the same old, but this time it was worse than ever, he made me lose the only good thing in my life. He made me give up on my first true love. I can never compare the love I felt for Elliot with the love I will always feel for Harry.

Harry made me see the good things. Harry helped me overcome my trust issues and he was always so supportive. He believed in me and made me feel good about myself.

Elliot, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He brought me down, he abuses me and treats me like shit. It was always like that.

Of course, I tried to talk to him, but it would always end up on me earning a slap, so I stopped. I tried to please him as good as I could, making him dinner, keeping the apartment clean, bringing him beer etc. I just refused to have sex with him. I would not let his disgusting genitals near mine. Of course, he was pissed, but I couldn't care less, I would not let him take over my body as well.

Right now, I was curled up in my bed, eyes lifelessly glued to the wall, where still hung a picture of me and Harry. There where many pictures, so Elliot hasn't noticed this one.

It was the day, I asked Harry to be my boyfriend. I was kneeling in front of him, holding the melting ice cream cone in front of me, the ice cream already on my hands. Harry wore a smirk on his beautiful pink lips, arms crossed and my mouth hung open, because I was talking. In the background was the beautiful Brighton pier, the sun shining and people watching us. I was so happy that day. It felt like years ago, when it was just a few months.

Harry and me had been in an relationship for 5 months. Five months, I felt happiness and nothing more. I never had the feeling that this could stop so soon. I tried to fight against the urge to go downstairs and just knock on his door, to explain everything.

But Elliot was around me 24/7 and when he was away, he made sure to lock the door. He took my phone and changed the password of my own fucking laptop. He allowed me some time on it, but only when he was right next to me and only to message Isaac or other friends from America.

I was a prisoner of Elliot.

He was already so fed up with me, I was fighting against his touch, I always snapped at him and I let him eat alone and sleep alone. I made him sleep on the couch or I was sleeping on the couch. I showed him that he was not welcomed here.

"Millie." Elliot opened the door slowly. "Get up, I'm hungry." he snapped and turned the lights on. I closed my eyes, to avoid the brightness. "Elliot, you have two healthy hands and you can make your fucking breakfast on your fucking own." I sniffled and pulled the duvet up my head.

But before I could grip it, Elliot pulled it down again. "Get the fuck up." he grumbled, "Now!" he demanded and I knew, if I wouldn't want to earn myself another bruise, I had to get up.