From Outer Space

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

5 months later.

''2.''

''2?''

''Yes.''

''Okay. So how do you feel when you think about waking up in front of the bar the next morning?'' Dr. Scotts asks Camila, looking at her patiently through her glasses.

Camila takes a deep breath, noticing that she doesn't feel that huge wave of panic anymore that she felt the first time she told Dr. Scotts about what happened. Still though, just thinking about what Brody had done to her all those years ago makes her sick. Her psychologist has gone over the topic a few times, trying to see if Camila's reaction to the story would lessen in intensity after a few times.

And it has. The first time, Camila almost had a full-out panic attack. Now, after four months of intense therapy, she barely feels anything apart from disgust towards the guy. Dr. Scotts has managed to take her disappointment in herself and her guilt for the situation away.

Finally, Camila doesn't only know that what Brody did to her wasn't her fault, she truly feels that way now as well. Which is a huge accomplishment for her and probably every person who has ever been sexually assaulted or abused.

''Disgusted. The fact that he took me to his house to abuse me like that and then dump me in front of the bar as soon as he was done... It just proves to me how sneaky he was. Of course he had to make sure I wouldn't wake up in his house, otherwise he would never be able to hide all this from Lauren.'' She answers and the woman in front of her nods in agreement.

''How do you feel about yourself?''

''Guilty.'' Camila answers and Dr. Scotts waits. ''Not because I think what he did is my fault, but for letting myself get so drunk that I couldn't tell left from right anymore. Guilty for running away from my fight with Lauren instead of dealing with it and talking it out.''

''Can you rate your guilt for me?'' she asks, making the astronaut nod with a small frown.

''3.''

''3?''

''Yes. I know the situation was fucked up. But if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have had Kyano. Of course, things with Lauren and I would have gone differently, maybe better even. But I've learned now that making the wrong decisions can lead to finding the right path. I was lost for years after it happened. But I guess sometimes you need to get lost to find your purpose.'' Camila answers.

Dr. Scotts smiles and closes her notebook with a small nod towards her client. Camila stays silent, twisting the ring around her finger that both she and Lauren have. A promise ring, of supporting each other through everything that they went through and everything that is still to come.

''I think that's a beautiful way to end this session.'' She says, making Camila look up from her fingers and nod back at her.

''Alright. So, in two weeks again then?'' she asks but her psychologist shakes her head.

''I think it's time to make our meetings less frequent. You've done very well these past months, Camila. I've seen you learn to accept your past and present as it is and you've done remarkably well in processing your traumatic experiences. May I remind you that you've given me a 2 and a 3 today. I want to ask you to compare that to your 11 and 10 the first time I asked you to rate your feelings.''

Camila smiles and shakes her head. Her psychologist hadn't mentioned the fact that she answered with 11 when asked to rate on a scale of 1 to 10, but it's how she truly felt at that moment. In this office, she allowed herself to feel all of the pain, the fear, the disgust, the guilt and the anger towards everything that happened to her and her family, for the very first time. And it was intense, overwhelming even.