Sleeping with Naill Horan

~Chapter 7~

Were on month two of this tour and I've been ignoring Naill since his wife left and I've got to be honest I'm avoiding him as well. I know he can see the hurt in my eyes but I can't say anything since it's not like I didn't know he was married. We go for dinner one night and I can't help but feel needy of him. I need him and I am having a hard time being mad. I know he wants to talk and I owe it to him so instead of going out with the rest of the guys to the bar we stay in. Once again he pays the driver to leave and he leaves. It's only the two of us but I can tell the air is thick with tension. I see him tap on his phone knowing he's sending them a warning about coming back unannounced. Harry texts me right away:

To P: Let him back in. It's making all of us miserable. Love me

I smile and I know he's right both he and I are miserable and there is nothing we can do about it. Well there are some things we can do but I know we have to talk first.

"I'm not sure where to begin." I say to him knowing he'll have a better idea.

"It's complicated this thing we've created. I'm not sure what to call it."

"I'm not either."

"I saw the look in your eyes when she showed up here. I know that look but I can't help but feel bad. This whole situation is my fault. I let it drag on and now here we are having a conversation I've never dreamed I would have to make."

"I know you're married and I know this is just a thing and when the tour is over you'll go back to her and forget all about me. I will be alone because I can't go back to Owen. I will always have Harry but this is something else it's different and exciting. Are you saying we're done?"

"Maybe it isn't just a thing. Maybe both of us are feeling the same way. No we're not done I can't walk away from you just like that. It's partly my fault you're here to begin with. I've given you a taste of what real love can feel like and you're hooked."

"You're hooked too." I said no longer holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

"You're right I am hooked and I'm hooked for the same reasons you're hooked. We're both in terrible marriages that only end in us seeking out other people. This can't be the first time you've cheated on him, is it?" He said wiping the tears from my face.

"No it's the third and this is the longest it's ever happened. Have you ever done this?"

"Once but she found out because the girl was there when she came home. I was at a photoshoot with the guys and I promised her I didn't want to leave. I promised her I wouldn't do it again."

"Do you think she knows about us? I mean you keep condoms in your drawer. It's not like you use them with her, right?"

"Why do you think we don't have children? I don't want them with her and that's the only way to make sure it don't happen. Speaking of that we haven't talked all month."

"I'm not pregnant."

"Good, sorry I had to ask it would just complicate this. I can't stand to see the sadness in your eyes."

"I can't stand to feel this way, Ni I've never been jealous of another woman. I am jealous of her."

"Why are you jealous of her?"

"She has you and she gets to call you hers to the public. I'm not saying we ruin both our marriages by going public I'm just saying. I don't own up to Owen being my husband in fact we don't show any outward affection to anyone outside of our home."

"Let me ask you this. It's a bit personal but I think it will help me with something. What is the sex like with Owen?"

"There is no sex. He forces himself on me when he's mad and when he realizes what he's done he feels bad. When he feels bad we don't have sex he fingers me until I'm done. Once I'm done he leaves me alone, as if it's his way of saying he's sorry. What's your sex like?"