Sleeping with Naill Horan

~Chapter 11~

Today is the day Ash and I go public and it's been on my mind all day. He seems excited but I'm not sure about it. He's with Harry while I make something to eat and I can only imagine what they're talking about. The bus door opens and in comes a few of the guys, they eat what's on the table and disappear into the back of the bus. I come out of the bus and into the warm air to see Harry, Ni and Ash all sitting on a picnic table talking. I don't want to interrupt so I walk the other way but Harry calls me and I turn to see all of them looking at me. I know their talking about me but I'm not sure I want to know about what.

I sit next to Harry and try to get a feel for what's going on. I suddenly feel like they're going to gang up on me and make this all about them.

"We understand you have some concerns." Ni said but I'm looking at the table about to cry.

"There's a lot going on in my mind and sometimes I let it get to me. I've heard and believe both of you will be here but it's not about that. I'm more concerned for your wife finding out about this. This isn't something we're going to be able to hide. I don't want to see you end up in a divorce because of this."

"Although I love my wife I deserve it. I know you don't see it that way but I do."

"I just don't want you to try to come crawling back to me. I want to move forward and if you come for me I'm afraid you'll hold our child against me."

"I would never come back for you not for love anyway. I will always come back to you where our child is concerned. I wouldn't want to come between you two. I know it's important for you to have the relationship you've always deserved and I can't give that to you."

"Ash, you're going to have to bear with me as I'm not sure how to reciprocate love. I've never had to with Owen and it's not that I don't want to its just my idea of reciprocating is through sex and I'm sure that's not all we can base this on. I want this to work in many ways but coming out to your fans is what worries me the most. If I wasn't pregnant it would be ok but I have to think smart about things. I don't want to get hurt."

"We will keep you safe from all of it. They are going to be mean but I am sure none of them are going to hurt you. I want you to take the time you need to learn how to love. I know how hard it is to love someone all your life but I also know how to fake it."

"I've been faking it with Owen for years now. It's time I move on and let someone show me what it's all about."

"See there you have it, all of you will figure it out and you'll do fine. Take your time it's up to you." Harry says looking at me.

Ni and Harry leave us sitting there and Ash looks at me with a bright smile.

"We're going for dinner tonight with the guys. We're not going to be super obvious we're together. Holding hands or something subtle to start then we'll see where things go. They will stop us and ask questions, no one is going to mention you being pregnant. We can't come out as together and being pregnant all at the same time. The fans will flip."

"I can honestly say I'm excited for this. It's been a long time since I've felt this way, even about my own husband."

"I am excited that you're excited. I'm going to go get ready you should too. Not that you have to be fancy."

Loading into the cars was an interesting event, but we got to our destination and I could see the cameras already. I wasn't sure I was ready for this but here it was. We get out of the car and form a small blob. We were towards the end of the blob but our hands were linked and as soon as they saw they went crazy stopping us in our tracks.

He answers all of their questions with ease as I let him talk. Once they have the "Money Shot" we go into the restaurant where a small crowd has drawn. They aren't crowding but they are watching our every move. It makes me feel nervous but his smile makes it worthwhile. We sit between Mike and Liam and wait for the waiter. My hands are freezing so I put one in my pocket and the other on his thigh. He looks down startled and I pull away, too much too soon? He grabs my hand and puts it back placing his hand on top of mine. I'm starving by the time the waitress comes to take our orders, this place is busy and I can't help but notice she's nervous now. As soon as she walks away I laugh and all eyes are on me.