Sleeping with Naill Horan

~Chapter 14~

Imagine if you will what you thought life was supposed to be like. White picket fence, beautiful house, a husband or wife, children who are proper and use their manners. You have everything you've ever wanted and yet you're not actually happy because the picture you've painted for yourself is unrealistic. I never thought this is how I would find myself, in the most perfectly imperfect life. It's perfect because I have the man I love and I love everything about him. It's in his laugh and the way his forehead crinkles when he's thinking. It's the way he smiles even when the situation is less then favorable and it's how he handles himself when it comes to other people putting their nose in our business.

Last night we spent the night rocking out in this huge packed arena. I stayed backstage as I have been to avoid getting hurt. Ni and I have been avoiding each other at all costs but something says he's going to blow up soon. I can't tell if I'm going to blow up on him or if he's going to blow up on me but it's bound to happen. Today we sit outside and Ash and the guys are in an interview while Harry and I sit here waiting for them to get back. I look up to see Ni coming our way, I grab Harry's arm and wait for it.

"Let's talk." He says a bit angry.

"Sure." I say and he makes Harry leave so we're alone.

"I'm going to try and keep calm but I can't guarantee I can be. You can't keep avoiding me." He says.

"You can't be so on again off again." I retort.

"What do you mean?"

"Act like you care when it's convenient for you to care."

"I'm still not following."

"You only care when you want to. Like when Ash kicked me, or when we decided to fly."

"Those are the times I need to care."

"So what you're saying is you don't have to care any other time?"

"Right."

"I'm onto you. You are aware that I know that is he wasn't a boy you would care less. It's not your legacy it's mine and now Ash's. You're not allowed to be the hero and the villain Ni, it's confusing and hurts me. I can't keep things straight with you."

"Super hero and Villain?"

"Yeah, you swoop in to try and save me when you think I need it then when it has no effect on you, you make Ash out to be the bad guy. He clearly warned you he would step in and I am beyond happy that he did. I can't take back what you and I've done but you gave me a child and for that I am thankful."

"So you're both going to pin him against me?"

"You did that yourself."

"When did I do that?" He yelled.

"When you decided your wife was more important than our son, that's when." I yelled back.

"She is important to me, always has been and always will be."

"I know that but you chose to walk away. You chose her over our son, I don't care that you don't want me but you have to want our son all the time."

"I never said I didn't want him. I said I want no part in this."

"In what? We have nothing for you to have a part in." I said trying to calm myself

"We may have nothing in each other but we have our son."

"This is what I'm talking about Ni, you can't go telling people you don't care then making a scene with me because you magically care again. Do you understand what it's doing to me? I'm already emotionally all over the place and you not figuring out what you are doing is killing me. I'm happy, Ash and I are happy. Together he and I will take care of your son. Please just leave us alone."