ill // phan au

f i v e

I can't believe you passed out.

sorry.

"the bleeding has stopped and you're perfectly fine," the lady that had been holding tissues to my nose and repeatedly asking if I was alright told me.

I stood and my eyes landed on the small table with the bloody tissues and all I could think was the face of terror when he saw all the blood.

I wonder how he was doing.

"are you okay? I've never seen someone bleed so much from a bloody nose!" chris said.

"I'm fine. um, where's phil?" I asked and chris gave me a sheepish look.

"he's in one of the galaxy rooms. I'd recommend leaving him alone, he's really upset."

"did he get hurt?"

chris shook his head. "he's fine, he's just...  he's angry with himself for getting you hurt."

I furrowed my brows. "can we go see him?"

for fuck's sake, do you not understand that people want to be alone?

"yeah, of course." chris said and I nodded, following him out of the room I was in.

I didn't exactly know what I was going to say to him when I saw him but it did worry me that he was upset because of me.

"I'm going to go see how pj's doing, phil's in the room at the very end of the hall," chris told me before turning and walking off.

he almost seemed in a rush but I brushed it off and walked into the room he told me to go to where phil was sitting on the floor, squeezing a smaller ball he had now that looked like it was about to explode.

"hey," I said softly, closing the door behind me and he looked up at me.

"what're you doing here?" his tone was almost harsh, it kind of sounded like the voice he had yesterday when we spoke for the first time.

"I wanted to see how you were doing." I said and he let his gaze fall.

"you should be mad at me. I got you hurt, you even passed out." phil scolded and I shook my head.

"it was an accident-" I attempted to say but he cut me off.

"but it happened."

I cracked my knuckles nervously and continued. "it's alright, I know you didn't mean-"

"why aren't you mad at me?!" he shouted abruptly, throwing his ball across the room which made a surprisingly loud noise, causing me to jump.

I could feel myself break a bit at the familiar sounds I was hoping to get away from.

"leave me the fuck alone!" he yelled again and without hesitation, I left, suddenly breaking out into tears and making my way back to my room.

***

"you have to see claire today, don't you?" chris asked me and I nodded, staring down at the food in front of me.