ill // phan au

s i x t e e n

((slight tw*))

"gooood evening!" immy exclaimed, running into the unused room where we usually gathered after dinner to share things and talk.

it was probably my favorite part of the day (not including night when phil and I lay on my bed talking). a lot of the people I'd come to be friends with all came and it was like sitting in front of a campfire, singing songs and telling stories without a care in the world. except, we didn't have a campfire but it still felt nice and warm being all together like this.

"you're late again!" flo pointed out, an arm wrapped around daisy who teasingly hit flo but laughed with everyone else.

"awe, come on! no one's ever late like mr. kendall!" immy said, hugging alyssa tightly then sliding to dave and wrapping her arms around him, nuzzling her cheek against his arm.

the usual immy.

"you know he's got to check up on pj," dave said and everyone nodded.

the chatter continued until chris finally appeared a few minutes later and like always, we greeted him with cheering and a reminder of how long he takes.

he laughed with us, seating himself on the floor next to us and once everyone had calmed down, nate began to tell his story and sally sat next to him, beginning to draw in her sketchbook.

it was about halfway into nate's heartwarming story and sally was displaying her quick but neat sketches of the characters in the story when dave spoke up, taking everyone by surprise.

"immy?"

nate and sally paused and everyone's attention was now on the heavy breathing coming from someone.

oh no, not again.

then, suddenly immy started to scream and chris was making his way to her.

most people here had experienced immy getting a panic attack but no matter how many times it happened, it was worrying and terrifying every time. her body was shaking and she was tugging her hair with tears running down her face, screaming and sobbing.

"I killed him, I killed them all," immy mumbled with a shaky voice. "they're dead, they're dead, they're dead..."

"go to your rooms," chris ordered over immy's voice that was progressively getting louder.

quickly, flo and daisy left followed by the others but I was making my way towards immy when chris made eye contact with me.

it was difficult to hear over immy's screaming but I knew he wanted me to leave as well so I let phil pull me out of the room and as we left, I saw nurse valerie and another nurse rushing in.

"it's best for us to wait until chris tells us she's fine," phil told me once we were in my room and I slowly sat down on my bed.

"I know, I just... wish I could be of help," I muttered.

he sat next to me and placed his hand on my back. "simply being there, talking to her and making her feel welcome is enough. you know she's uncontrollable when she has flashbacks."

yeah, no shit.

stop. please.

I let out a sigh and phil gently kissed my head, pulling my into his arms and as he began to brush his fingers through my hair, I closed my eyes and let my head rest against his chest.

"you help a lot of us," phil said quietly. "I know flo appreciates you respecting them, immy trusts you, you encourage alyssa when chris is busy and you help chris out, even if he doesn't ask for help."