ill // phan au

t w e n t y - o n e

I ran my finger over the bruise just under his jaw as we sat on the ground and I frowned, knowing I was the cause of that.

"I'm so sorry."

he didn't seem the tiniest bit upset though and instead, he smiled and took my face in his hands.

"it's okay. I know I should be mad but I was scared you'd never want to see me again..." he trailed off, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

"I hurt you and I'm so sorry, it was such a weird day and I can't believe I did such a thing." I said anyways, trying to ignore the fact that phil's eyes were continuously switching between my eyes and my lips.

"dan, it's alright. I think I did more damage to you so I should be apologizing," he said, his tone suddenly changing.

he turned his head away and let go of my face but I held onto his hands, keeping them on my cheeks.

"hey," I whispered, chris' words ringing in my ears.

he didn't turn back his head but hummed to let me know he was listening.

"I know things are tough and we fucked up, honestly, but I'm so grateful you're in my life and I... I love you so fucking much, I will stick with you until you don't want me here anymore."

for a moment, I thought phil was going to cry and I was ready to pull him in and hold him tight but instead he grinned a little, facing me again.

he slowly leaned in and every time I knew it was coming, I couldn't help the small smile that came up. there was something so sweet, so relieving about kissing him.

his lips were tender, he knew what to do to get my heart racing, his hair was so soft every time I reached for it and the way he gently touched me made me blush so hard, it was embarrassing but I didn't want him to stop.

he continued to kiss down my jaw and my neck, making me shiver. it was so slow and he was so careful but my mind was buzzing and there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach that felt... weird? I didn't know how to explain it but it was driving me crazy and I wanted more.

his finger tips ran up my inner thigh and I gasped a little too loud, making him jump and ask what was wrong.

oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

are you...?

yup. that was it.

"are you okay?" phil asked frantically and I knew I probably looked like a tomato that was about to explode.

"I'm fine, I was gonna suggest we go eat lunch but I don't think that's a good idea anymore," I muttered, trying to pull my shirt down without him noticing but to my luck, his eyes were on my hands and, well...

"oh. oh! oh I did that, oh wow!" he shouted and I smacked him, trying to not laugh.

"shut up! you're so loud!" I said, holding my shirt down.

"what am I supposed to say?! oh my god, should I be proud because I kind of am-" I hit him again and we both laughed.

"we should head to the cafeteria," I suggested after we stopped laughing and phil held up his him with his hand, trying to give off the idea that he was thinking.

"or we could, you know, walk around, check the bathrooms to make sure no one else is there because we wouldn't want people missing lunch, would we?" he said, winking at me and I pursed my lips, trying to not smile.