You And Me Against The World | ✅

Chapter 30

I toss and turn over and over. I try to fall back asleep but I just can't. I feel uneasy. Something is wrong, but I can't say what. I look to my left and see that Tobias is sleeping on his stomach, his face toward me. His lips are slightly apart and I fight the urge to kiss him. He's probably very tired. He needs his sleep.

"Mommy?" I hear to my right and turn around to find the miniature version of Tobias standing in front of my side of the bed. "Mommy, can I sleep with you?" the little boy asks. I turn around to see if my dream self is here, but she isn't and I turn back to the boy.

"Sure," I say and am surprised that he heard me. He sticks his little arms out for me to help him get into bed. Unlike any other time, I can touch him. This is a first. I never could touch someone during a projection. Then again, this doesn't seem like a projection. I don't have a son. Not yet anyways. Maybe I should explore this further. There has to be a meaning to all of this. "Did you have a bad dream?" I ask and he nods his little head. I let him slip under the blanket and wrap my arms around him. He snuggles into my chest and I feel an unfamiliar warmth spread through my body.

"Mommy?" he says looking up to meet my eyes in the dark.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Why grandma not living here?" he asks.

"Because she and grandpa live in Abnegation," I say and he furrows his eyebrows.

"No, mommy. Other grandma. Evelyn," he says with a giggle. This surprises me.

"Uhm," I start but have no clue what to say.

"Because your grandma Evelyn chose to live factionless," I hear Tobias's raspy voice say behind me. I turn to look at him and he smiles at me. I smile back. He comes closer and embraces me from behind kissing my neck. This is definitely new.

"Daddy up. Did I wake you?" the boy in my arms asks.

"No, buddy. You wanna cuddle between mommy and daddy?" Tobias asks and the little boy climbs over me and settles between us. I turn around and look into Tobias's loving eyes. "I love you, both of you," he says kissing the boy's forehead and then my lips.

"I love you, too," I say to Tobias before I look down to the boy and say, "I love you too, my sweet little boy," and realize that I mean it.

"Love you mommy. Love you daddy." We cuddle close together and I feel tired again. I'm so happy right now, I don't want to fall asleep again. I want to enjoy this moment with Tobias and my son. Our son. I close my eyes and when I open them again I'm still in Tobias's arms but the little boy is gone. I try to sit up and look around, but he's nowhere to be found. I get up without waking Tobias and walk out of the room and down the hall to where I know that my son's room is. I open the door fully expecting to find him sleeping in his little toddler bed, but the room is empty.

"Tris, what are you doing?" Tobias asks coming up behind me.

"Where is he?" I ask looking behind the door as if the boy would hide behind it.

"Where's who?" Tobias asks confused.

"Our son," I say without looking at Tobias. I turn around and head to the stairs. I want to call my little boy's name, but realize I don't know it.

"Tris, wait. What are you talking about?" Tobias says behind me. He takes a hold of me and helps me climb down the stairs, making sure I won't fall.

"He was here. Just a moment ago," I say and tears are building up in my eyes. We sit down and I can't keep it together anymore. I start crying and Tobias holds me close to him comforting me the best he can.