rushed and ugly hi filler chapter
• the three sat around the table, just purely talking about life. tyler was admiring the way brendon spoke to joshua, the thought of both of them together was enough to make him squeal.
brendons laugh was like gold, rare, royal, never rusted, never got old, the boy was amazing.
okay- maybe not the actual colour gold, tyler couldn't see it, but he knew it was precious, beautiful, and a great quality. and quite frankly so was brendon.
you could tell by the way he spoke and how everyone spoke about him that he was charming. he loved to make people feel special and he liked to make them know for sure he wanted to treat them. when you were stressed he'd say the nicest things- but not too nice, because sometimes that stresses you out even more- and treat you and take you out for the most relaxing spar because he doesn't care how much money he spends on you. it didn't even feel like he was trying to buy your love, it was just simply because he thought that he alone couldn't make you as happy as money. he probably could, though.
however he did see some flaws.
he always tried to change himself.
he tried to act all strong and masculine. you could hear it in his voice. the way he spoke, said something that made him seemed flawed, stutter, play it cool, and then mention something he did one time that was a great achievement for him, and stay silent for a few moments while someone else spoke. you could tell. he got warm from embarrassment. he wanted to be perfect.
but he made the funniest jokes. he had nothing to worry about, he seemed impeccable so far, and almost like the best guy alive.
one of the two best people alive.
there was joshua who tyler was slowly falling for, too. and tyler recognised this. although he just pushed his feelings aside.
josh wasn't like brendon. he wasn't gold, silver, platinum or any other valuable metal.
a cracking fire.
maybe what josh seemed like to tyler wasn't as expensive as gold, it was just as precious to him. they were equally as valued.
the warmth he just made you feel, with his soft voice, slightly higher pitched than both tylers and brendons for some reason (tyler did not know josh was trans), but it was fine.
it sounded slightly feminine! but tyler didn't mind, it was still cute, he mumbled a little and his voice broke every once in a while making them all giggle. adorable. and he was always so playful with brendon which tyler loved.
a campfire. a cheerful pessimist with a bitterly sweet, icy hot, scaldingly cool sense to him. an oxymoron. a loosely sealed eloquent silence, overbearingly modest and an idiotic savant. he said things no one understood and no one knew whether it was because he was stupid or because they were stupid one... when you were around him you couldn't tell if you felt properly educated or absolutely not. he'd constantly hit you up with random facts about the world and himself that didn't sound true, but you believe him anyway because you're like that and you're getting carried away in his aura and you don't even notice.
like that campfire in tyler's head that he was picturing, terrifying but so tempting, loudly whispering beautiful nothings to him.
but to joshua, the way he viewed tyler was very similar to the way he viewed himself-
a misty forest at the crack of dawn, the fog pouring it's way between the emerald leaves, nothing wet but neither dry. a cricket chirping, owl hooting and then maybe a deep roar of thunder in the distance, no rain but who knows? the fog is so thick maybe it's getting trapped.
it was obvious to both josh and brendon that tyler didn't like saying anything about himself. maybe he was nervous, scared if judgement, but maybe he didn't want to get too close. either way, they didn't think it was wise to hold back. they both honestly wanted to get to know him more, see him a lot more often and become close friends.
there was almost nothing that joshua and brendon didn't know about each other, but there was some things they had to find out by observation. the things about yourself you don't tell people, you just rely on them to figure it out, and when you have that's how you become close to someone. being friends- or more- isn't just about knowing their favourite colour or phone number, it's recognising when they feel uncomfortable, how they feel just by the time of their voice or the look in their eyes. treating them to something and not caring that you're low on money (but also knowing when enough is enough) and when buying gifts seems impossible because there's so much you want to get but you don't know how to choose just a small range of treats when they deserve the world. they just got each other.
brendon wasn't the thunder of the forest, he was the lightning. you couldn't see it yet because the fog was too thick. but soon it would lift and there would be a spark.
josh thought that tyler and brendon would be so cute together.
