back for the first time in 7373 years xx
• josh tries to work that day, but he didn't succeed with much progress. he barely hit the deadlines. and to be honest, as a graphic designer, his life and mindset spilled out into his art a lot, kind of... making it less of what the customer requested, and more about josh. he didn't want that. he wanted his clients to be one hundred percent satisfied, and if he let his personal life impact his work, there would be a problem. he was already so emotional in his day to day life, but today felt a little too extreme.
he was captivated by tyler's voice. his words were like... a painting. they have so many meanings, research and creativity put into them, he didn't even know where to begin when forming sentences, he had so much to say. his voice was soft like pillows and like a blanket you tug onto when you're watching a christmas film as a kid, during the festive season. it made your chest tingle and legs twitch with excitement.
and then there was brendon, who josh had known for years. josh always knew that brendon was more than just a "friend". they never labelled their relationship when they were together but kind of just told everybody that they were best friends, even though, afterwards, they were both like "are we really, though?".
there were times where they'd cuddle, they'd hold hands, they'd stare into each others eyes, getting lost in them, and flirt all evening and take each other out to dinner. it never got further than that, and they never spoke about it. that just seemed to be their way of being friends. no matter how much they both felt like they wanted to go further with their 'relationship', no one mentioned it, neither of them felt like it was ever the right moment.
josh was siting there, trying to come up with a font for a new poster he was making for a local, small band. new times roman or serif? they were so similar (if not, identical), but that was his excuse right now as to why he was being so slow.
he thought about it. he thought about brendon pinning tyler against the wall and kissing him, and tyler wrapping his arms around the boys neck, enjoying it.
and josh was watching.
and he thought about it. he thought about it a lot. he thought about brendon taking off his shirt as tyler runs his fingers along his toned body, he thought about his two best friends having a full on, intimate, make-out session.
and it felt so natural and great. josh bites his tongue, thinking about how much he wanted to see that, and also how jealous he'd be if they did that without him.
was there something wrong?
yes
he left work, claiming he felt sick.
he was sick. and sick person. no one thinks things like that. no one thinks about their two best friends like that, especially not about now much he wants to see it, and genuinely feeling that way.
what the fuck
