To find the lost sky

19

Slight trigger warning, and if you didn't read the chapter before this, it has a chapter and then the tag at the END. So if you didn't read it, I suggest you does.
Me and Jacob sat on the old wooden bench at the park. It was a bit cold, but Max's sweatshirt kept me mostly warm. What's going to happen when I get home? I thought. Am I going to be in trouble? Will Alesa send me away to a mental hospital? Or will nothing happen?
I brung up my legs, and curled into a tiny ball, trying to make my existence as small as possible.
"You won't get in trouble," Jacob said as if he was reading my mind.
"How would you know?" I asked him.
"Trust me. Me, Barney, and Max will make sure of it."
I sighed and continued to look at my feet.
"Look," Jacob said. "I know how your feeling, but trust me. We would all ways do what's best for all of us."
"All of us or all of you?" I whispered.
"Maddy..."
"Why does it matter? Why does all of this matter? Why do I matter?"
I saw a tear stain the concrete below me. Making it a dark grey instead of a lighter shade.
"I should be dead," I muttered. "I should have been dead. I should just stab myself now, so everything could just go away."
I could see Jacob was shaken by that.
"What about Adam?" He asked. "What about the people who love you?"
"What about them?" Tears were constantly making my face wet. "What about all of them? What can I do to make it better? I'm just a burden for everyone. A weight on their shoulders. If I'm gone, then so will their pain."
"Will it?" Jacob asked more angry. "Or will it just pass the depression on to everyone else?"
"I don't know!" I yelled at him. We sat there in silence in between my sobs.
"And how should I? I lost them all anyways. I don't know what's it's like to be truly happy, to-to feel like a part of a family. I don't even know if I ever loved someone, or if anyone loved me at all."
I felt the shocked air around us.
A few minutes later, Jacob finally broke the silence.
"Come on," he said, not fully showing his face. "Lets go home,"
So I want to thank all of you for waiting so patently for the next chapter. I know it's been forever, but like I said, there's a lot of family stuff and I'm really busy. So thank you again. Also, I finally found my notebook that had my "crystal" book writing in it. It's been a few years so the writing isn't as good. If you still want me to write it, let me know. Thanks again, and happy b day to myself.
Be brave.
Stay strong.
Always shine.
Heros_daughter