After the War

26

"Rogers, get in here" Jeffery yelled from his office. I took my gun off the table and put it in the holster.

"What do you need" I asked, attempting not to sound annoyed.

"I need you to sign this" he presented me with a form, but his hand covered the writing.

"Let me read it" I reached for it.

"Just sign it" he moved it away.

"No" I crossed my arms. It was probably the Sokovia Accords again.

"Sign it, or you can't be an agent" I snatched the paper from his hand. It was the Sokovia Accords. I took my gun out of my holster and put it under my chin.

"I swear to god that I'll pull the trigger if you make me sign that paper" I said. I knew I was being rash, but I had to make a point.

"Will, don't be rash" Jeffery backed up.

"I'm not. If I sign that paper, I sign away my freedom".

"No you won't" he was trying to make me feel better. I dug the gun deeper into my chin.

"Governments use me, and people will die, so I might as well kill myself" I fiddled with the trigger.

"Get me agent Coulson" Jeffery whispered into his com "Will, just calm down. You don't need to take your life".

"I am more than willing to die".

"No you aren't. You can't pull the trigger".

"Don't test me, Jeffery. You know that I can make your life a living hell too".

"You can't pull the trigger, and you won't, or I'll take you out of the field" his threat made no sense.

I moved my finger over the trigger.

"Will, stop" Coulson entered the office "Mace, did you try to get her to sign the Accords again".

"Yes".

"You're an idiot" Coulson said.

"Three times, Jeffery. Three times you've tried to make me sign the Accords" I holstered my weapon and burnt the document. Coulson and I walked out of the office.

"Were you really going to pull the trigger" he asked quietly.

"What if I told you I thought about it" I asked in the same tone.

"Will" I could hear the concern in Coulson's voice.

"Look, I had to take drastic measures in order to keep my freedom, and if that meant pulling the trigger, then I would have".

"You can't threaten Mace with your life".

"I sure as hell can, and I will. He needs to learn that if the government can use me, then people might die" I stated "I don't see why you can't be the director".

"I just can't be the director" I started heading to the basement "and where do you think you're going".

"I'm going to look through some old files. Surely you have my records from Hydra. I'm going to find out how many times Hydra killed me and how they killed me" I answered.

"Will, you seem very unstable right now. I don't think it's a good thing to know how many times you've died".

"Are you coming with me or not" I asked impatiently.

"Someone has to watch you" Coulson sighed and went into the basement with me. I dug through dusty boxes. I found at least five files on Ragnarok.

"Are you sure about this" he sounded nervous again.

"You had to find out about Tahiti. Well this is my Tahiti, so let me figure this out" I replied. I opened the files and started reading. Death one, 2004; death by beating. Death two, 2007; death by experimental treatment. Death three, 2011; death by electrocution. Death four, 2012; death by beating. Death five, 2014; death by blood loss. I dropped the files.

"Five" I whispered.

"Pardon".

"I've died five times. Twice by being beaten to death. Once by electrocution, once by experimental treatment and once by a blood loss. All within twelve years".

"Jesus" Coulson wrapped and arm around my shoulders, attempting to comfort me.

"Everyone's right, I should be dead, and I know why. Hydra should have left me dead the first time. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of trouble" I laughed to myself "you, May, and Robbie have only died once. Me, I've died five times, so maybe this makes me immortal".

"I told you not to go looking for answers, but it's impressive that you're still here".

"At least I can say that I've risen from the dead more than once. This actually makes sense to me. I spent a lot of time passed out for the first thirteen years of my life" I started walking out of the room.

"Will, after this, and you putting a gun to your head, I won't let you be alone right now" Coulson followed me closely.

"I'm going to talk with May, and then I might just test out my immortal theory".

"I won't let you do that. You've been suicidal lately, and I haven't done anything about it".

"I'm fifteen, and I'm a senior in high school. I don't fit in. I'm seventy-four. I don't have a father anymore. My only friends are adults, and I'm being hunted my the government. So yeah, I'm a little suicidal" I snapped.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone, but please don't test out if you're immortal" he let me go. I headed to the training room. May was beating up some new recruits.

"Hey May, can we talk" I asked.

"You never want to talk" she said suspiciously.

"But I want to now before I do something really stupid".

"What's going on" she asked.

"I just found out how many times I've died".

"Times. You've died multiple times".

"Once in 2004 by beating. Once in 2007 by experimental treatment. Once in 2011 by electrocution. Once in 2012 by beating. Once in 2014 by blood loss. Five times within twelve years".

"And why did you want to know this".

"Because I threatened to kill myself when the director tried to get me to sign the Accords again" I whispered.

"Will-".

"Look, you told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to then I could come to you. I need someone to talk to so I don't go and get myself killed again".

"How'd you get electrocuted" May inquired. She knew that she had to let me talk.

"Well, in 2011 I had a computer put in my brain. There must have been some complications with that process" I replied "if Steve knew this, he'd freak out. I'm happy he doesn't know that I've died before". 

"Are you going to be okay".

"I can freak the director out now" I laughed to myself.

"Don't do that. Jeffery already hates you as is".

"He could never hate me because I'm perfect" I smirked.

"He hates you because you don't do anything by the books. We had to forge your identification papers, you refuse to sign the Accords, and you don't listen to him".

"He's not the boss of me. I technically don't work for SHIELD. I work for Coulson. I'm just an asset, therefore, he can't control me".

"You threatened to kill yourself in front of him" May started.

"I don't know if I'll ever be okay. This new fact further distances me from the rest of humanity. I might as well stay in hiding for the rest of my life" I tried to pass everything off as a joke. I knew that this wasn't healthy, but at this point, I couldn't fix myself. May did something she never did. She hugged me.