Secretly Loving You- Justin Bieber

Chapter Five

Tuka's P.O.V
"And he just fell on his ass.." Fredo chuckled, finishing off his joke, which I substantially fake laughed at. Of course he didn't notice, and continued to babble on about some stupid thing that happened on tour one time. Its not that I didn't want to listen, I really did. Its just I chose not to, I chose to think about what Justin said. I mean, he's with Selena, like properly with her. So why did he say he loved me? I mean he hardly knows me right? He can't keep doing this to me. Getting my hopes up, making me think I really have a chance when in reality I don't. It will always be her. I know it will. That's what hurts me the most, the fact that I will always be there, every time she pushes him to the ground, every argument, Ill be the one he runs to. Yet the second she needs him back, or needs something, it'll be her, and Ill be the one left behind. Yet Ill be one who will get walked all over, because I can't push Justin away. No matter what I do it just, never seems to work. He always says something, or does something that pulls me back in. But I can't keep doing this, I need to move on right? I can't keep waiting for someone who doesn't even know if he loves the poor girl. No way am I getting inbetween someone else's relationship. "Tuka?" Fredo's voice interrupted my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. I blushed slightly, shaking my head slightly. "Sorry, miles away, what were you saying?" I tried my best to put on a smile, but over the past few days I just haven't felt up to it. "Don't worry babe, you finished?" He asked, motioning to the half eaten plate of food. I nodded slightly, biting my lip as we grabbed our coats. Fredo paid for the bill, after my many protests. So soon we were on our way back to the hotel, to get ready for the concert tonight. For some reason, I had a bad feeling about tonight. The fact that I'd be dancing in front of millions of people, let alone I have to kiss Justin at the end. But that's not my biggest worry, my worry is that Ill have to face him, and act like everything is okay, when in reality, its not. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, scrolling through my messages as Fredo drove back.

Selena: You better watch out;) Just remember, I have Justin, you don't, You aren't good enough for him, never have been, never will. --------------------

"5 minutes sweetie okay?" Fredo whispered, peeping his head around the door. I smiled slightly, blushing in the process as I chucked my hair up in a messy bun. He walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist whilst resting his head against my shoulder. I sighed into his touch, feeling some warmth towards Fredo. It was weird, how Fredo made me feel different to Justin, more fragile and cared for? But with the dream I had of me and Justin, he made me feel home, safe. That's why I'm confused right now. I don't know whether to move on, or stay and wait for something that might not even happen. If I stay, Ill just be a broken mess until something happens. If I go? Ill be broken for a while, get over it, and move on. "You look beautiful baby.." He whispered, kissing the exposed skin on my neck, melting me under his touch. I turned to face him, getting caught up in the moment as our lips crashed together. It wasn't like Justin's kiss. It was sweet, essential. I pulled away, blushing slightly as we breathed for air. "Ill see you later okay?" He smiled, kissing me one last time before rushing out the door, leaving me to calm myself down. I walked out the door, feeling a little hotter than usual as I walked through the hallways towards the stage. Justin stood there, talking to Scooter whilst the other dancers were stretching. I walked over to the other dancers, copying a few things they were doing before Scooter hopped over. "You don't have to kiss Justin, just pretend like last time.." He explained, patting my back before pushing me towards the stage. Time to get it over and done with right?


Justin's P.O.V
I watched as she walked up towards me, her tight clothing making it hard for me not to just grab her and make her mine. She stood in front of me, moving her hips and dancing to the beat as the words flowed out of my mouth. I love Tuka, I know I do but, not like Selena you know? I love my mum, not like I love my dad. Its all different. Me and Tuka have nothing right? We don't 'know' each other. But she doesn't let me in. I watched as she turned towards me, running her hands down my chest before pushing me away, this was the bit I was waiting for. I pulled her back, wrapping my arms around her waist as I leaned in. Our lips brushed slightly, until she pulled away, smiling awkwardly before running off stage with everyone else, leaving my stunned. I smiled to my fans, thanking them for being here, and always supporting me before rushing off stage. I looked around for Tuka, seeing her sat on the sofa with Fredo, making my heart sink. Why? If I'm being honest, it made me feel broken slightly, knowing that she might not be here when there will be a slight chance of being with her. Not only will I be loosing a friend, maybe a lover too. Maybe its for the best you know? Maybe this is how its meant to be? Maybe, just maybe, she'll come back? Maybe she'll forgive me? But, what if things don't work out with Selena and I? What if something happens, what then? Tuka won't be here will she, she'll be with Fredo, with someone who didn't make her wait. I'm happy for her, I really am. I mean, I have Selena right, so she deserves someone who'll look after her. I guess all I can do is sit back and watch someone else make her happy. Although, I only have myself to blame for this. I didn't jump in when I had the chance, I left it too late. Now, I have to suffer with it-----------------

"Justin.." I heard a faint voice from behind me. I was currently sat on the sofa, watching the telly, although I couldn't exactly concentrate on it. To many thoughts rang through my mind. "Justin.." Tuka mumbled again, standing in front of the telly, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up at her, her eyes tried and her body more limp than I'd ever seen. I could tell she was close to giving up, close to falling apart. But why? She had Fredo right? "What?" I sighed, sitting up straight before running my fingers through my hair. "Do you hate me?" She whispered, her voice shaky as she fell to her knees, resting her hands on my lap. I couldn't look at her. As my jaw tightened and my muscles tensed, I could only reply with one word, a lie. "No.." I hissed, standing up from my place, pushing my way past her as I headed towards my room. "I can't keep waiting forever Justin!" She screamed, making me stop dead in my tracks. I turned around, seeing tears silently run down her face. From that moment, I knew I was the reason for her pain, I was doing this to her, all over a stupid dream. A dream that could of changed everything. "Its hurting me Justin, hurting ME because the best I can do is sit back and watch that.. That cow break you in to pieces, just for you to take her back, every fucking time!" She shouted, picking up a few things, chucking them towards me. A few things catching my arms and body as they past me. I can understand why she's angry, why she feels like this. "T-The dream.." I stuttered, feeling tears struck my eyes as I thought back to how we use to fight in the blur of a dream. "The dream? Justin the dream doesn't seem shit to you any more! None of it does!" She cried, chucking the new vase that was placed on the table, towards me. I dodged it, feeling it smash behind me as the glass started to cut my skin, some even reaching my face. I groaned in frustration, throwing my head back. "I love you Tuka! For God sake I love you!" I shouted, taken back as to what I just said. Her eyes widened, as her body slid down the wall, her knees pulled to her chest. "Y-You D-Don't mean T-That.. Y-You love H-Her.. S-She H-Hates M-Me.." She stuttered, her whole body shaking with fear as she continued. "S-She was R-Right you know.. I-I'm N-Not E-Enough for Y-You." She hiccuped, shaking her head, pulling her hair in frustration. "Who?" I whispered, kneeling down in front of her. All the anger, all the hate, had been drained away with hurt, and pain. I couldn't stand seeing her like this, I hated myself for it. I really did. But the next thing she said surprised me the most, the fact that I couldn't believe it myself. "S-Selena.."