Secretly Loving You- Justin Bieber

Chapter Nineteen

Tuka's P.O.V*Christmas Eve*

"You know, she doesn't have to come tomorrow, I could just cancel and say the kids are ill or something?" Justin mumbled in my ear as we sat on the bed quietly, hearing the kids downstairs shouting about what they want to play. Justin had invited Selena over for Christmas, thinking it would be a good idea. Of course I couldn't care less who came around but the fact that Justin told me it was meant to be for us? Kind of pushed my buttons a little. These past few days I haven't had time to think about who I'm hurting, how I'm even feeling. Why? Justin hasn't left my side for a second that's why. "No its fine.. We don't her to suspect anything right?" I mumbled, playing with the ends of my hair. Justin's lips pressed against my cheek lightly as he unwrapped himself from me. He ruffled his hair, chucking on a jacket before heading towards the door. "Ill be back okay? I just need to.. Go shopping?" He mumbled, not sounding too convincing. I nodded slowly, watching as he left the room quicker than I could say no. Finally I had some time to myself to think about what I want, what I need. I love Justin, don't get me wrong I do but, I promised we'd do this the proper way, without anyone else getting hurt. But it hasn't been like that now has it? Everyone's got hurt. This wasn't how it was suppose to go, far from it actually. I never wanted any of this to happen, none of it. But we both let our feelings take over without thinking who could get hurt in the process.

"Tuka sweetie?" Pattie's soft voice ran through the room, snapping me out of my deep thoughts. I looked over to her, seeing her small smile plastered on her face. "I heard Selena is coming tomorrow, are you okay?" She asked, sitting on the bed in front of me. I bit my lip, stopping myself from breaking down as I nodded. She sighed, shaking her head slowly. "Why he sticks around with her I never know.." She mumbled, sending me a small smile before heading out the room. I whimpered as I let go of my lip, a small tear falling down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, grabbing my phone before heading downstairs. Za and Jazzy were sat on one sofa, while Jeremy and Jaxon were sat on the other, all of them watching some Disney film on the telly. I rushed past them, heading into the kitchen before stepping outside the back. "You'll get him one day.." Za's voice made me jump as I sat on the floor. He sat beside me, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "He won't.. He'll always go back to her.. Always.." I whispered, my body shaking from the cold weather. Za shook his head, chuckling slightly. "He'll realise one day that you're exactly what he needs.." He mumbled, kissing my forehead gently. "Come on.." 


Justin's P.O.V

I walked back through the house, hearing nothing but the living room telly throughout the whole house. I walked upstairs, dropping the bags in my hands into the spare room before shutting it behind me. "Justin.." My mothers voice spoke, as she appeared right in front of me. "Do you know how much pain that poor girl is in?" She whispered, slapping my arm. I moved backwards, raising my hands up in surrender. "I haven't done anything!" I snapped, running my fingers through my hair. She shook her head, pushing past me. "The second you learn that Tuka is a whole lot better than Selena, Tuka will already be gone.." She mumbled before walking down the stairs. What was that all about anyway? I haven't done anything have I? Although, when I really think about it, I haven't exactly been fair to Tuka. We promised to do everything the right way, but we haven't. We were so tied up in our own feelings we forgot. I cursed to myself, making my way downstairs before heading outside the back door, only to see Tuka and Za talking. "He's just... He's everything I want you know.. He makes me happy, makes me forget about every single worry and flaw I have and yet.. When he goes back to her.. The flaws, the worries.. Everything comes back like a bomb.." 

"I'm sorry.." I whispered, seeing her head snap up in my direction. She had been crying, it was obvious, but she tired her best to hide it. Za mumbled something under his breath, kissing Tuka's cheek before patting my shoulder as he made his way inside.

"Was that true?" I mumbled, moving closer to her. She found a sudden interest in her shoes, as she nodded slowly. I cursed under my breath, rubbing my face before speaking out. "Baby I'm sorry.. I don't mean to hurt you.. This thing this.. This whole situation is messed up, we both know that. I just can't loose you.." I whimpered, reaching my arms out for her. She shook her head, moving away from me slowly. "It'll be her. It will always be her.." She whispered, her eyes locking with mine for what felt like the first time. My heart fluttered, and my knees grew weak. I walked towards her, linking our hands together softly. I took her right hand, covering it over my heart. "You feel that?" I whispered, keeping my eyes on hers. She was always so beautiful, so natural looking. "Its beating so fast.." She gasped slightly, her eyes looking up to meet mine. "Every time we touch, look, or be in each others presence.. It beats this fast... For you, and only you." I explained, my head leaning in slowly. Our lips brushed slightly, before locking together perfectly. She was everything.. Everything I've always wanted in a girl. I never really knew why I was so hung up over Selena, why I still am. Why I've never noticed Tuka like this before I will never know. "I love you." I whispered as I pulled away from her. "I love y-"
"What an excellent surprise this is..." Shit.