Secretly Loving You- Justin Bieber

Chapter Fourteen

Tuka's P.O.V
Justin's been gone for all of 5 hours now, along with everyone, leaving me here alone. I can't help but wonder if he even went with everyone, after the way her stormed out here. I can't help it if I wanted to help right? I mean, I only care, and I want to make sure he doesn't go off the rails. Is that so bad? I was about to go to bed, my PJ's hugging just right. The door flung open, and there stood a rather drunk Justin. He stumbled inside, slamming the door shut behind him. I felt awkward, being around him after he just walked out. "Tuka.." He slurred, sitting on the sofa, motioning me to sit beside him. I was hesitant at first, unsure on what it was exactly that he wanted. I sat beside him, hearing his breath hitch as I did. I didn't know what he want, to be honest I wasn't even sure if I wanted to talk to him right now. "I don't know how much of this I can take.." He mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Everyone around him seems to be trying to bring him down. My eyes captured his, none of us looking away. They were full of pain, no light inside of them. Like the life had been sucked out of him. "What do you mean?" I asked, stuttering slightly. He just shook his head, chuckling coldly. His eyes turned dark, and cold, his mouth twitched in anger. I don't even understand why he gets so angry lately, I mean, nothing has happened right? "You know what? Fuck you.." He hissed, standing up from the sofa. I felt anger boil through me as I copied his actions. "If you don't tell me what you mean, how do you expect me to help you?" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air in frustration. He just laughed once more, pure hatred in his eyes. "I don't need you, I don't need anyone.." He spat, pushing my body backwards. I stumbled into the wall, my back hitting it with such force making me groan. I heard the door slam shut once more, indicating that Justin had left, once again. I felt tears trickle down my cheeks as my back began to ache. Why would he push me? Why would he even think about hurting me? "I don't need him..." I mumbled to myself, picking myself up off the floor before taking myself to bed. Maybe I could just sleep it off, maybe that's what we both need. ----------------------

I fluttered my eyes open, hearing a loud knocking at my door along with screaming. I frowned, wondering why Justin hadn't answered by now. I groaned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes before heading over to the door. Fredo and Za burst through, along with Scooter. I shot them a confused look, watching as they made their way through every room. "Where is he?" Fredo asked, a hint of panic in his voice. I just shrugged, unable to even care where he is right now. I'm fed up with his attitude. I have decided to just ignore the fact that he is even here, and that I ever had feelings for him. Yeh Ill be there for him, but only when he wants me to be. "Did he come home last night?" Za asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. He gripped hold of my shoulders, making me flinch. I don't know whether it was because of the huge bruise that had formed there, or whether because Mark use to do it every time I was in trouble. "When?" I frowned, backing away from the three of them. They turned to look at each other, nodding between them before looking back at me. "When we went drinking.." Fredo mumbled, raising his eyebrows. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "H-He came back.. Drunk, told me he couldn't do it any more and snapped.. "I murmured, sitting over by the sofa. The guys followed me, their eyes staring into my skull. "Snapped?" Za questioned, his hand covering mine. I closed my eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. "He got angry, I don't know why, just told me to go away, then he pushed me.. And I fell into the wall before I could stop him.." I explained, hearing nothing in return. They exchanged glances, nodding between them once more before standing up. "Stay here in case he comes back okay?" Za suggested, kissing my temple before heading outside with the boys. I wonder what actually happened to Justin. Whether he just needed some time alone to think, or maybe he needed to let out some anger. I saw his jacket laid on the floor, my eyes flickering between that and my phone. I grabbed his jacket, digging through the pockets. He's taken his pills, all of them. I grabbed my phone, debating whether or not to tell Scooter. Maybe Justin took them to take in the morning? So he didn't loose them. Or he took another jacket. I can't just tell Scooter just in case. I sighed, looking over at the clock. The big 10:56 making me groan. Its not even lunch time. I decided to log onto twitter, and scroll through my TL.


@beliebatavons You're such a good dancer, OMG ILY!



I smiled to myself before RT and replying before continuing down my TL. I wonder why Justin even left?---------------


The piercing sound of my ringtone awoke me from my afternoon nap. I grabbed my phone, not bothering to look at the caller ID before answering. "Hello?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes before looking up at the clock. 17:33. Great, I slept through most of the day. "T-Tuka?" His broken voice rang through my phone, snapping me back to reality. Its like it hit me like a ton of bricks. Panic ran through my body as my breath quickened. "J-Justin, sweetie where are you?"I whispered, my voice giving up on me. Its like all my feelings for him came flooding back the second I heard how broken he was. "I-I need to see you.. Tuka please I don't know what to do.." He cried through the phone, making my heart break. "O-Okay Justin where are you?" I asked, rushing him to answer. "The park down the road.." He whispered before hanging up. I hadn't realised how much my hands were shaking until I tried to pull myself together. I wiped my eyes, stuffing my phone in my back pocket before slipping on my shoes. I ran out the door, ignoring the confused looks that were shot towards me as I ran down the road. I turned the corner, seeing a small park on its own, nothing but a road around it. Someone was sat on the swing, looking down at their feet. I ran over, jumping over the fence before catching the attention of whoever was on the swing. "T-Tuka..2 Justin stuttered, trying to walk himself over to me. I shook my head, tears making their way down my face as I walked towards him. I grabbed hold of his shoulders, allowing him to lay his head on my chest. His soft cries rang through my ears, enough to make my knees collapse on me, sending us onto the floor. I didn't care, I couldn't care. His tears stained my shirt as little droplets of rain hit my face. "I.. I was gonna jump.. In front of a car but I couldn't do it.." He cried, clutching hold of my top even tighter. My hands found the back of Justin's head, my fingers running through his hair lightly as the rain got harder. "Its okay not to be okay" I whispered, lifting his head up so he could look at me. His bottom lip trembled as he tried to crack a smile. I pulled myself off up the floor, dragging Justin with me. His body shook as his hands grew cold. Our clothes were drenched as we trundled through the pouring rain. The paparazzi all over us as we turned the corner. Cameras flashing everywhere making Justin shake more violently. "Excuse me!" I shouted, grabbing Justin's arm as I pulled him through the crowds, catching a glimpse of where we needed to be. "Move!" I shouted, loud enough for some of them to actually move. We finally made it inside the hotel, running through the lobby towards our hotel room. 

I closed the door behind us, walking into the bathroom to grab both of us a towel. "Here you'll get a cold otherwise.." I chuckled, handing Justin a towel as he sat on the sofa. I boiled the kettle, making both of us a hot chocolate before joining Justin. "I'm sorry.." Justin whispered after about 10 minutes of silence. I didn't know what to say, although, nothing was to be said. "Don't be sorry for how you feel.. Just let me help you.." I pleaded, running my hands through my wet hair. He cracked a smile, not a forced one, a genuine smile. "Everything just.. Feels wrong you know?" He mumbled, not giving me a chance to reply. "Its like, I can't go anywhere without people judging me, I can't have fun without someone telling its wrong. I can't breathe without someone telling me I'm a bad person!" He exclaimed, running his hands over his face. I sighed, looking around the room before back at him. "I think we should all just lay low for a while, until after Christmas, maybe people will back off?" I suggested, hearing my phone ring from my back pocket. Justin nodded in response to my suggestion before rubbing his hair with the towel. "Have you got him?" Za's voice rang through the phone, making me chuckle. "Yes, a little wet from the rain but he's here.." I explained, hearing almost everyone sigh on the other end. "Where was he?" Fredo asked, indicating Za had put me on loud speaker. I looked over at Justin, his eyes widening as he mouthed 'don't say anything' "He went for a walk that's all.." I lied, hearing Justin sigh in relief. Za mumbled something on the other end before hanging up. "Thanks.." He whispered, hugging me tightly. I just shrugged in his arms, hugging him tighter. "Friends stick up for each other.."