Secretly Loving You- Justin Bieber

Chapter one

Tuka's P.O.V
"Come on Tuka, we're going to be late" za shouted from downstairs, causing me to roll my eyes. Today's the day we start going on tour with Justin. If I'm being honest, I can't wait. I get to see Fredo, Pattie. Justin. I haven't seen him since the whole dream scenario. It'll be weird seeing him once again, although I have to get use to it right? Only problem is, Selena will be coming with us this time, meaning me and Justin won't be getting to know each other like we planned. I'm pretty gutted, I know how Selena can be a bitch sometimes, so keeping my distance is going to be tricky too. I rushed down the stairs, seeing all my stuff at the bottom along with Za's. "Ready?" He smiled, picking up the bags before walking outside, I grabbed hold of the keys, locking the door before climbing into the car. "Remember to be careful about what you say around Selena?" Za mumbled, driving through the gates. "I know.. "I sighed, looking out the window as I plugged my ear phones in. I let my mind run wild as I thought back to that dream I had. I remember the late night conversations about random things. The midnight tickle wars and falling out of bed, The showers we spent together. The way he fixed me when I cut myself. He never left me throughout it. I just wanted reality to swallow me up, so I could continue with my dream. But this time, Justin would still be alive, with no accidents. We'd do everything right this time. I hadn't realized how much I was crying until Za pulled my earphones out. "What's wrong?" He asked, turning off the car. I just shrugged, wiping my eyes before helping Za with the bags. "I got it..." He smiled, kissing the top of my head before locking the car, passing the keys to someone who walked up to us. We walked through the airport, through checkouts and passport checks before we reached the gates for the private planes.

"Tuka!" I looked up to see Fredo running towards me. I smiled widely as he pulled me into his arms, spinning me around before holding me tighter. "I missed you.." He mumbled, kissing the top of my head, causing me to blush. "I missed you too.." I chuckled, pulling away to see Justin making his way over, his head low as Fredo walked over to Za, leaving me along with him. "Hey.." He whispered, hugging me tightly. It felt so good to be in his arms. His breath tickled my neck as he spoke. "I missed you..." He whispered, kissing the exposed skin, sending shivers down my spine. "I missed you too.." I mumbled, pulling away from him slowly. He gave me a weak smile as a single tear ran down his cheek. I knew he'd been missing me as much as I've been missing him. "How was the drive?" He coughed, walking back over to the crew. I just nodded, unable to speak as I thought about what just happened. "Justin!" A high pitched squeal rang through the place as most of the crew groaned. Justin turned around, running towards whoever just caused us to become death. I looked behind me, feeling my heart sink as I saw Selena wrapping her arms around Justin tightly, kissing his lips softly. My heart ached as I wished it was me. Tears struck my eyes as Za's arms found their way around me, hugging me tightly. "Breathe Tuka, breathe.." He whispered, hugging me even tighter. "I-I'm okay.." I stuttered, pulling away from him as Selena and Justin made their way over. "Selena, this is Za and Tuka.." Justin introduced us, looking between the two of us. Selena smiled, shaking Za's hand before completely ignoring me. I scoffed slightly, probably louder than I should of as Selena turned around. "She see's every girl as a threat don't worry.." fredo chuckled, taking hold of my arm as we made our way onto the plane. I swear to God this whole thing better be worth it in the end. --------------

"Okay, sleeping arrangements are different this time.. Selena you won't be in the same room with Justin, you'll be with Fredo and Za. Tuka you will be sharing with Justin!" Scooter shouted, handing me and Za a key each as well as everyone else. "Are you serious?" Selena hissed, sending me a death glare as Justin walked over to me with his bags. "Selena, calm down.." Scooter mumbled, sending Justin a sort of 'help me' look, which Justin shook his head to. I frowned slightly as I looked between the two of them, and how they were both acting. "That goes for every hotel we stay in.." He mumbled once more, hearing Selena's distressed scream as he stormed off towards her room. I couldn't help but chuckle as how much of a drama queen she was being. "Right lets fine our room.." Justin mumbled, picking up all of our bags before making his way to the stairs. "Elevator?" I suggested, chuckling slightly as he shook his head. "I hate them.." He mumbled, walking up the stairs. I wonder if he feel how I do every time he looks at me. "Oi Tuka!" I turned around to see Selena standing at the bottom of the stairs, with her arms crossed. "Yes?" I smiled sweetly, trying my best not to come across as a bitch. "Keep your hands off of what isn't yours.." She smiled sarcastically before turning on her heels to walk away. I just shook my head, running up the stairs after Justin. "Right, there are two rooms so we aren't sleeping together.." Justin mumbled, opening the door. I looked around the room, realizing it was the exact same one that was in my dream, when we hated each other. "I wanted it to be the same one as.. You know.." Justin blushed, taking his bags into his room. I bit my lip as the memories flashed back. Our first kiss on the sofa, cooking breakfast together. My eyes became wet as I shook my head. "Just don't trash it this time.." I chuckled, avoiding eye contact as I took my bags into my room. 

The same sheets, curtains, the same scented candles were placed around the room. Then I looked towards the window, seeing the balcony. My heart swelled as I remember sitting out there after a heated fight with Justin. I remember the time when we sat outside, his guitar playing on our last night. The way the drama started when Fredo found himself a new girl. "I thought it'd be best if it was exactly the same.." Justin's voice rang through the room, causing me to jump. "Thanks.." I mumbled, not turning around to face him. I heard him sigh, feeling him move closer to me. "Tuka.. I feel like I love you, but I can't..." He whispered, his breathe hot on the back of my neck as his arms ran up my arms, causing goose bumps to form on the tickled skin. "Then why am I here, sharing a hotel room with you?" I whispered, turning to face him for the first time since we got here. His eyes were full of confusion and regret. "I want to stay close to you, make sure you don't slip from my fingers when I need you.." He mumbled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I shook my head, a silent tear running down my face. "you have Selena.." It hurt more saying those words than anything else. It hurts being here in his presence, feeling him near me just.. Kills me. "She doesn't get me like you do, she doesn't understand.." He explained, trying his best to hold back the tears. I could tell this was hurting him, as much as it was hurting me. "We don't know each other. We thought we did through a stupid dream!" I hissed, feeling anger boil through my body. Not towards Justin, but towards myself as I knew I shouldn't be so hung up over a stupid dream. "A dream that we both wished was reality!" He shouted back, taking me by surprise. He fell backwards onto the bed, running his fingers through his hair. "I want it to happen! I do Tuka! Its just... Complicated. I don't want you to slip away from me any moment. If there was eve a small chance that I could have you then I'd take it, no matter what.." He croaked, standing from his place as he moved towards me. His hands found my waist, as mine found his arms. "The moment anything goes fucked up, you'd be the one I turn to. The moment Selena chucks me, you'd be the one I'd go to.. I love you Tuka and its weird... Its a weird type of love, something that won't go away.." He explained, tears rushing down his face. I looked into his eyes, seeing his face edge closer to mine as our lips connected. "We can't, not like this.. The.. The dream was a sign to do everything right. We know what could happen, who could get hurt if we went certain places. The fire? The bomb? The car crash? Its a chance to do everything right... Justin ill wait!" I mumbled, sitting on the bed as he edged towards the door. "Promise?" He croaked, forming a lump in my throat. "Promise.." I whispered, my voice strained as I tried to stop myself from crying. I heard the door shut, and another one open. Soon enough, that door was shut, leaving me alone in my own thoughts. I let out a cry, feeling all the hurt and pain rush through my body. I can't go on like this, not this way. I'm just the bit on the side. That's all I'll ever be. ---------------------------------

"Tuka, glad you could make it down!" Scooter smiled, moving out the way so I could sit between Fredo and Za. I'd been in my room for about 4 hours now, just crying myself to sleep. Until Za rang me and told me we're going out for dinner. I don't even know why I agreed. "You okay?" Fredo whispered from beside me, taking hold of my chin gently, making me turn to face him. He looked me in the eyes, and I knew he'd catch me out if I lied. "Just feel home sick.." I smiled weakly, turning to face the ground once more. But before I did I caught a glimpse of Justin's confused yet worried face, and Selena's eyes rolling. I knew she hated me, I never understood why. "Tuka, at least try and make it look like nothing is wrong, please.." Za pleaded quietly from my right. I just nodded, moving my hair out of my face as I turned to look at Scooter, trying my best to avoid Justin's gaze. "So one of our main dancers have gone and got herself pregnant, meaning we need a new dancer.." He explained, talking to all of the crew. Za looked towardsme, with a hopeful look in his eye. "Tuka will do it, she use to dance.." Za smiled, causing me to gasp slightly. I whacked his arm playfully, hearing Scooter chuckle loudly. "She'd have to dance with Justin.." That made my heart flutter yet sink at the same time. 
"I guess I could give it a try.." I smiled shyly, hearing everyone howl and praise me as Scooter shook my hand. I gave Za a death glare before returning to my usual face. "I can't wait to see you up there..." Fredo whispered from beside me, making me melt in my own seat. "Are you sure Tuka can dance?" Selena's voice interrupted everyone's conversations. "Best one you'll ever see.." Za smirked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I knew what he wass up to, and I know understood why he put me up to dancing. He knows how much I love Justin, and that we both had the same dream. He just wants to make sure it happens. "Go on then dance.." Selena smirked, motioning someone to turn some music on. Fortunately we were the only ones in the restaurant. I got on my feet, taking my heels off before standing in a space not too far from the table. Justin's 'Take You' was playing in the background as my body swayed to the music. My body bopped and moved in all the right places along with the music. As the song came to an end, I ran my fingers through my hair, hearing everyone clap as I sat back down at the table. Selena's face grew redder as her anger boiled. "Tuka.." I heard Scooter ask, causing me to turn my head. "Welcome to the Bieber crew"