(A/N) And we've reached Chapter 20! This is about the halfway point of this story. There might be a sequel, there might not, I haven't decided. But there is still a long way to go on this story, so we'll see where it takes us. On the other hand, here's the poll for the next fanfiction! ( https://www.quotev.com/quiz/8611248/Fanfictions ) Please take it!
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Lily pulled into the driveway of a large house that was seemingly vacant. No light were on and the driveway had no evidence of cars driving on it. The house had to be expensive, large pillars bordered the lavish porch. European decorative furniture was placed perfectly near the doors and plants grew maintained in the yard.
I followed Lily up the steps, attempting to hide the state of awe I was in as best as I could. "I can never remember which key it is." I watched her continuing to struggle with finding the right key. If I had half as many keys as she did on her key ring, I'd struggle too. She finally got fed up and frowned.
"Somewhere around here," I watched as she picked up and move several objects searching for something in particular."There.. is.. a," She ran her hand across the underside of a rocking chair next to the door. "Key!" She pulled a small key that was taped there. "Well, shit. I thought you had lost your mind," She rolled her eyes laughing lightly at my response.
She pushed the door opened, the cool air from the air conditioning blowing past us as she did so. I stepped inside after her, attempting to make out my surroundings in the lack of light. And like that, light filled the room. Before me a large curved staircase led to the upstairs sections of the house. Small vines with flowers following the railing. The room was a beautiful dark purple that matched the flowers and had white finished complementing the porcelain titles.
Lily's laughter snapped me out of my daze, "Beautiful huh? This is my father's 'town house.' Crazy big huh?" All I could manage was a nod. I tried not to focus on the extravagant surroundings and trailed behind Lily up the stairs. She flipped lights on as he went, knowing right where the switches were. At least the means she didn't break into a random house. What am I thinking, I'm so negative jeez.
She pushed the door open to a room that was a pale pink and had paintings of flowers hung around the room. She turned towards me, "This, is my room. " I could hear a slight tone of distaste when she spoke. "Not your favorite?" She shook her head, looking around the room. "I had it, it screams-,"
"I'm a girly girl," She laughed and nodded. She pointed towards a door on the far side of the room. "There's the bathroom, you've had a long day, you can freshen up in there." I smiled gratefully at here and walked towards the door, pushing it open slowly. Another over-the-top room. It was a light blue that had accents of pink I assumed were to match the room before it.
I opened up a few drawers until I found a wash rag. I ran some water over it and wipe it across my face. This one action always made me feel better. "I honestly haven't stayed here in year," I heard Lily talk to me from the other room. I could hear her opening and closing several drawers and doors, rummaging for something. "Why'd you move away?" I heard a slight snicker on the other side of the door. "Ivy, hon, this was never my home, we only used it when we went on road trips." I unfolded the rag I was holding, going to wring it out, but the light clattering of a metal object stopped me. I looked at my feet seeing a familiar sight for me.
A small blade laid at the tip of my shoe, shining up at me. "Ivy?" I froze, shit. "Ivy, are you okay?" I placed the rag on the counter and bent down, picking it up. "What was that noise," I heard footsteps approaching the door, and someone's presence just on the other side. Speak Ivy, dammit.
"Um, yeah, I just knocked," I looked for something metal on the counter for me to use. "This, um, I actually have no idea what this is." I picked up a stand that I'd assume was used for rags that needed to be dried. The door creaked open and her head popped in. "Oh, that stupid thing." She finished pushing the door open and took it from my hands, placing it back on the counter, turning it so it was in a certain positions. I held the blade in the hand behind my back, sliding it into my back pocket as I watched her eyes land on the rag I laid out.
She slowly tore her eyes off of it and smiled at me. "Swimming?" I gave her a confused look. "Do you want to go swimming?" She restated a complete sentence, nodding towards a window in her room. She pulled the curtain back, revealing a large pulled the was just outside the downstairs back door.
"Oh, I don't really think that's a good idea," My self-consciousness started building into my head. "Why not, it's warm and the pool will be cool." I fidgeted with my wrist, unknowingly running my hands across my scares. Her eyes fixed on my hands and she took a deep breath.
"This is a no judgment zone Ivy, you know that right?" I looked at her eyes, she had a mix of concern and comforts lacing them. I nodded, "You're right, I just don't have a bathing suit." She bit her lip thinking to herself before walking over to the dresser on the far side of the window. She opened the top drawer, pulling out several sets of swim suit. Dammit, should've seen that one coming.
"Take your pick," I looked through the pile, deciding on the one that had even though it still wasn't as much as I'd like. I thanked her before turning around and walking back into the bathroom. I pulled my phone out, placing it on the counter before I started to change. I placed the clothes I had came in, in a neat pile. "While you're in there, grab some beach towels, cabinet doors right under the sink.
I pulled the doors open, grabbing two beach towels and standing back up. I looked at the mirror seeing a girl I vaguely remember. My waist was small and slightly sunk in, which is expected from me I suppose, considering I don't eat as often as I should. Only slight remembrances of the makeup I was wearing earlier remained, including mascara and eye liner. My hair was still pulled into the same ponytail as earlier, revealing my high cheek bones and bright eyes. I wasn't ugly, I knew that deep down, but I wasn't gorgeous like Ashton deserved.
Lily lightly knocked on the door. "Ready to go in there?" I adjusted my grip on the towels, "Yep," My response echoed quietly like most bathrooms' have as I opened the door. She nodded in approval before leading the way out of the room.
~After the pool~
I ringed my hair out as I walked up the steps of the pool. "That really was cooling." Lily flipped her hair over, wrapping the towel around it. "Told you so." I rolled my eyes and re-wrapped my towel around me. Lily took a glance back at me.
She's judging you. I cringed at the voice I hadn't heard in so long speaking to me. Do you honestly think she wants to be friends with you anyway? She's using you to get to the band. Lily snapped her fingers in front of my eyes making me jump. "So was that a yes or no?" I just stared at her, not wanting to tell her I wasn't listening. She stared me back down for a minute.
"Do you want food or not? I'm starving." I bit my lip. Don't you dare eat, it'll ruin all the progress you've made. I took a deep breath and shook my head, "But you can eat." She nodded walking into the house, leaving the back door open. I held back a second, releasing a heavy sigh once she was out of sight.
Good, you don't need to be gaining any more weight, you already shake the ground when you walk. I blankly stared before me, letting the words soak in. As much as I hate to be told it, there's no denying the fact that I'm fat. I walked inside, closing the back door behind me and followed the trail of on lights that Lily leaves, shutting them off as I went past.
"Lily?" I called, hoping to get some idea where she was. No response. I walked up the staircase making me way towards her open bedroom door. I heard rummaging in the drawers and stopped shy of the door. "Dammit," I heard her quietly say to herself.
I peeked my head around the corner just to get a glimpse of what was going on, no one was there. The rattling of her digging started up again, and I pinpointed it as coming from the bathroom. Slowly, i crept toward the noises, attempting to take quiet steps.
"Where is it, where is it?" She mumbled to herself. I barely poked my head around the door frame, watching Lily pick up every towel and rag in her bathroom, shaking them vigorously. The blade... My eyes fell to my jeans that were still stacked near the door, untouched. She's trying to take it away from you. She knows you're fucked up.
I shook of the comments being spread in my head. "Lily?" I called, pretending I was just walking into the room. The rummaging stopped and Lily's head appeared, her cool and calm demeanor on full displace. "Yeah?" I smiled nervously, formulating my lie quickly. "Just wondering if that was you or some stranger." Well that one sucked. She laughed, her anxiousness coming through it slightly. "Did you need something?"
I looked towards the bathroom door which she was holding close to her, as an effort to hide the scene on the other side. "Um, yeah, I just needed my clothes and phone from in there." She looked over her shoulder, moving just enough to grab my clothes and phone. She handed them to me and pointed at her bed. "On the end there, I have some pajamas in the drawer. I nodded and turned around hearing the door close and lock.
She just doesn't want to be responsible for anything you do to yourself. I sighed, this is going to take a whole got minute to get used to. "Lily? Do you have another bathroom?" She emerged from the bathroom, wiping her hands on her legs and she walked out. "Bathroom, oh yeah, um, third door on the right."
I gave her a quiet 'thank you' and left the room, walking down the hallway. One. Two. Three. I turned the handle to the third door, pushing it open. I flipped the light on and closed the door locking it behind me. I unfolded my jeans digging through the pockets, making sure the blade was still there. I let out a relieved sigh as I pulled the blade out of my back pocket.
"Thank god." I folded my jeans back up and changed into the from Lily's room. I looked in the mirror, looking at a girl that looked much different from earlier. Now I saw all the fat and flaws my body had. I looked exhausted, like I had never slept before in my life. My eyes looked sad and empty and my cheeks were sunk in ever-so-slightly.
It's disappointing to be ugly isn't it. I attempted to shake it off again. If i don't listen to it, nothing will happen. Poor Ashton has to be seen wish such a fat pig. Just look at the tweets. I slowly picked my phone up, ignoring the dozens of missed calls and texts from Ashton and Michael. I opened twitter, clicking on the hundreds of notifications I hadn't noticed were there earlier.
is only dating @IvyPCliff as pity.
@IvyPCliff doesn't deserve to be breathing the same air as our boys #5sosfamdontlikeit
Stop interfering with the boy's carrers, why are you even on tour with them @IvyPCliff
Stop thinking you're worth the boys' time, they have better people to spend their time on.
I bit down hard on my lip. It hurts doesn't it, and there's nothing you can even do about it. I sighed, leaning my head against the wall behind me. I let my hands just dangle and took one last look in the mirror. You know what you can do though? My eyes fell on the blade I had laid on the counter. I looked at my arms the hung lifelessly in the mirror. Just one can't hurt can it.
I reached out, grabbing the blade and slide my back down the wall behind me. I held onto it tightly, looking at my wrist that only had memories of cuts, but no proof of them. I bit the inside of my cheek, and set my phone down beside me. disappointingface popped up on the screen the familiar ringtone coming on. Do it. At least then it won't so bad to be disappointing. I let the call ring through and placed the blade to my skin. He called again, but the sting of tears on my cheeks stopped me from looking at my phone.
"I'm sorry for grusomenting you," I slid the blade across my skin harshly, blood dripping out of it almost instantly. I allowed myself to adjust to the feeling of the pain. Again. One more is all it takes. I watched a tear fall on my skin as I scarred my wrist up. Putting several more cuts onto the skin. One more turned into my entire wrist, my entire wrist turned into a cut on my side, and that one cut turn into ten.
I let out a pained gasp as the ache of what I had actually just done it me. I slowly pulled myself to my feet. The scene was grousome. Blood covered most of my upper body. The floor held a small amount of my blood, it slowly running down my arms and dripping to the floor. Just one more. I set the blade on the counter, shaking my head, mostly at my own frustration.
I heard a harsh knocking on the door and footsteps coming down the hallways. A light knock was left of the door, startling me. "Pizza's here." I nodded, turning the sink on, starting to clean up the mess I had just made. "Coming."
YOU ARE READING
Just Baby Scars (An Ashton Irwin Fan Fiction)
Fanfiction"I-Ivy," My hands laid at my side, covered in blood. "Ivy, why?" He collapsed at my side taking my wrists in his hands, holding on to them tightly. "You don't love me," The words were barely auditable through my lips, my face was heavy, I didn...
