Just Baby Scars (An Ashton Irwin Fan Fiction)

Xx Chapter 22: Let's Talk xX

(A/N) I love the cute little moments I put between Ash and Ivy like in the end of the last chapter and the begining of this one. No, no smut. Not yet. Hope you like!
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I awoke to an empty bed. I stretched, still covered by the seemingly miles of white sheets that surrounded me. I slowly sat up, looking for Ashton. No sign of him. The curtains were slightly a gap, revealing ray of sunlight that lit the room up.
I rubbed my eyes slightly, still trying to wake up, when memories of last night hit me. Last night. Last night was amazing. I got to spend the entire night right where I've wanted to be for the past month. The door cracked open, and I saw Ashton's bed head enter. He shut the door, smiling at me. I returned a sleep smile, and held my arms open, waiting for him to come to me.
He smiled even brighter and walked towards me. He engulfed me in a big hug, kissing me all over my face and neck. "How's my Ivy Wivey?" I giggled slightly, nodding my head as if it was an answer. He playfully pushed me back onto the bed and threw himself next to me, reaching an arm across my body. I gave him a big smile, leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips.
The arm I reached over to steady myself, he grabbed and pull, forcing me on top of him. I ended up straddling him again. "I like this," I raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue. He pulled me down, kissing my softly. "I like seeing you happy."
I felt the color burning into my cheek. When he says things like that it makes me smile. "Well, then you'll be happy to know, all I need is for you to be there." I was still right in front of his face, practically nose to nose. He pulled my arms from his sides to over his head, bringing our lips together.
We started with a few pecks, casually letting each kiss last longer. He licked my bottom lip begging for entrance. I teased him for a moment, slowly pulling away. I leaned back in, giving him a light kiss on the nose before giving him permission.
He didn't get what he wanted. A light knock tapped at the door. He groaned loudly, leaning his head back in slight irritation. I slowly slid off the bed giving him a few kisses down his stomach frustrating him even more as I went to answer the door.
"If you don't answer it, we can continue." I rolled my eyes at Ashton's whining and ran a hand through my hair, straightening it out ever so slightly.
I cracked the door open, peeking to see Michael and Calum at the door. "You two lovebirds need to get up and get dressed." I playfully rolled my eyes at him, he mimicked me, causing the two of us to burst into laughter. "Lily gave me these for you." I looked down at a stack of clothing and reached out, taking them as carefully as possible.
I glanced at Calum as I pulled my arms back in, he watched them, painfully tearing his eyes away just before i was almost completely in the room. Ashton's arms wrapped around me and I felt his head on my shoulder.Michael gagged and looked away.
"I'm just the messager, don't punish me with that shit." Ashton kissed the side of my neck before pushing the door closed. He lightly pushed me up against the wall, putting me in a predicament that I wasn't exactly opposed to. He gave me light kisses from my collar bone, up my neck, and to my lips. I gave him a light kiss back and gave him a little push back.
He pouted at me. "I waved the clothes in the air, silently explaining to him what I had to do. I walked into a bathroom that was on the far end of the room and closed the door. I turned the shower on, allowing it to get warm before I got in.
I stepped inside, the warm water feeling good on the cuts that were on a vast majority of my body. I heard the door open and froze. Dammit, should've locked the god damn door. I continued to wash my hair and body, praying the Ashton wouldn't step in. I shut the shower off and heard the sink running. I quickly reached a hand outside, grabbing the robe and wrapping it around myself.
I stepped out, grabbing a towel and wrapping my hair up in it. Ashton shut the water off to the sink, and grabbed a small hand towel, drying his face and hands off. He placed his hands on my waist, giving me a small kiss on the nose and just looked at me. "I like you without makeup."
Makeup. My eyes widened and I instantly looked down, attempting to hide my face. He pulled me into a hug, "We'll work on that another day." He let go, letting me step out of the room. I heard the shower turn on as he did the same action as I did.
brought me were laid out on the bed. I slid the shorts on first, very grateful that they were high waisted. I slide the t-shirt on and cringed. The mirror across the room from me, revealed what I was afraid of. Bright red lines we extremely evident across my wrist. I looked around the room looking for something to cover with. No luck.
I bit my lip looking at the door. I know Luke had a flannel yesterday. If I could just get my hands on it. I held my hands close to my stomach, slowly opening the door. Michael, Calum, and Luke were sitting in the living room with Lily talking about something to do with the tour bus. I crept to the doorway, hoping to avoid as much attention as possible, but Lily almost cheered my name when she saw me.
I nervously smiled and looked at Luke. "May I um, have a word with you." Luke cautiously got up. I looked around the room, getting strange looks from two of the three people in the room. One of them knew why I needed Luke. He rounded the corner, stopping short of the room Ashton and I stayed in.
"What's up?" I nervously fidgeted with my wrist. Don't tell him, the first thing he'll do is wrong to Michael. And that'll ruin everything, now wouldn't it. I cringed. Luke placed a hand on me, steadying me when I didn't realize I needed it. "Ivy, breathe, what ever you need, I'm here for you." I laughed, out of pure nervousness once again.
"I need a favor." He nodded. "Can I, well, can I borrow your flannel?" His furrowed his eyebrows. I could see his brain working to figure out why I would need it. "What would you need my flannel for." I subconsciously messed with my wrist. I watched as his eyes fell to my hands. He looked down, pretending his didn't figure it out.
"I mean, yeah, sure, whatever, I guess." He fumbled with words as he pulled his flannel off. "Thank you." I managed to say as I took it out of his hands. I felt him pat me on the back as we went our separate ways.
I entered the the room, slipping the flannel on. I let out a sigh of relief as I looked in the mirror and was completely covered where I needed to be. Ashton emerged from the bathroom. Wet messy curls, and bare skin except for his boxers. He walked over, giving me a small kiss on the forehead.
"You look beautiful." He gestured toward the flannel, "Luke's?" I nodded, smiling. He slid his clothes on, taking about half the time it took for me to get dressed. He buttoned his pants and wrapped on arm around my back pulling me close. "I'm going to miss having my own room with you."
I laughed lightly. "Cities have hotels." He smirked to himself, shaking his head. "Indeed they do." We made our way down the hallways and emerged in the living room. Lily said a less enthusiastic 'Ashton' and waved hello. I took a brief moment to look at the three bright eyed and bushy tailed boys in front of me.
Luke and Calum screamed of guilt. I could tell it was killing them not to be able to talk about it. Michael looked between Ashton and I in disgust as Ashton's hand ran up and down my back. "Ivy?" I looked towards Lily, humming in response. "Do you want to go upstairs with me, I have makeup that you can use up there."
I hesitantly looked around the room. Leaving Luke and Calum, in a room, with Michael and Ashton, and expect them not to spill. Unlikely. But I had to trust them. I nodded yes, exchanging a stern glance between the two of them before Lily dragged me up the stairs.
She placed a large box in front of me and flipped it open, revealing over a hundred different unused products. "Why so much?" She laughed, shrugging her shoulder. "I don't even use an eighth of it, they just keep buying and buying it for me." I giggled at her response. Rich people problems, having to much makeup.
I put on a light about of makeup, which to anyone else, it probably looked heavy, but it was light considering what I generally use. I waited for Lily to finish with her eyeliner and we made our way back down the stairs.
We slowly rounded the corner to the living room and walked in on the boys deep in conversation. Calum and Ashton were whisper-yelling at each other, while Michael and Luke whisper-yelled at them to shut up about whatever they were talking about. Lily cleared her throat, making all of them snap towards us.
Ashton barely even looked at me. Told you they couldn't keep their mouths shut. Now what are you going to do. I shakily smiled at them. "I'll be right back," I walked into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind me. I ripped the side of my shirt up, revealing the clean side. I fumbled with my phone case, pulling the blade out of it.
I took a deep breath looking in the mirror. I shouldn't do this. But you want to, This is just going to hurt the boys. They want you to be happy. But they aren't going to be happy. They'll understand. I bit my lip as I placed a few cuts on my side. I felt the familiar relief that I feel every time this happens.
I turned the sink on, wiping the blood that had dripped off my skin. I made sure to place the blade back in my phone case. I opened the door, seeing the boys walking down the hallways towards the door. I followed behind, making sure to keep a few steps back.
They reached the door, all four of them looking back at me, instantly making me uncomfortable. I smiled, "All ready!," Luke turned away the fastest, quickly whipping the door open. Michael and Calum followed just behind. I looked at Ashton as he outstretched a hand for me to grab.
I took it, feeling a smile grow on my face as we stepped out. Lily left last, locking the door behind us and putting the key back under the rocking chair where she found it. Lily's car and a rental car were parked in the drive way. I looked at the boys. "
"You four bought a rental car?"All of them smiled, nodding, seeming pretty proud of themselves. I laughed lightly before I felt Ashton lightly squeeze my hand. "I'm going to ride with Lily." He nodded, letting my hand go and walking to the driver side of the car. The other three went to follow them. "Actually, Luke, Calum. Do you want to ride with us. Lily really wants to learn more about you."
Lily played along, even though I know she had no clue what I was pulling. They warily got in the car, eyeing me down suspiciously. Lily started the car, backing out after Ashton had. Once we started down the street. I looked back at them from the passenger seat.
"You can't tell them." Calum automatically took a defensive position, crossing his arms in front of him. "Why not? You clearly need help." I glared at him slightly. Luke lightly popped Calum's arm. "What he's trying to say is, we're worried about you." I shook my head, glancing to see Lily attempting to not eavesdrop.
"Well don't be, I'm fine." Luke rolled his eyes this time. I could tell he was getting slightly annoyed. "Ivy, fine isn't, doing that to yourself." I attempted to hide my irritation with what he was insinuating. "If you were fine, you wouldn't need Luke's flannel, right now."
I could tell that they knew they were pissing me off. "Both of you, just no. Fine for you two is being able to smile and laugh and play your music without a care in the world. Fine is different for everyone."
"My definition of fine is being able to wake up smiling because I got to wake up in the arms of someone that I love. I might not be fine in the way you two see fine. But I AM fine in the way I see it. So I'm sorry you don't approve of the way I cope. I'm sorry that I'm disappointing you with my life choices. But I am not sorry you decided to get involved with it."
"If you thing I am to much to handle, tell me and I'll lead you right to the door that will lead the both of you out of my life. I didn't chose to make my problems your problems. I chose to live my life the way I do. So spare me the pity and either walk through hell with me or go crawl yourself out."
I turned myself so I was sitting back in my seat. Do you realize how much of a bitch you are? I pulled the visor down, looking in the mirror. I saw the look of utter shock on the two boys faces in the back seat.
No, I didn't realize until just now.