Xx Chapter 6: Dirty Little Secret xX

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I sat on the ground crying, counting the cars that drove down the street. I tried to do anything to distract myself from the voices in my head. Slowly they started getting louder and louder.

'Weak little slut, still cant save yourself.'

I hugged my knees close to my chest, trying to forget.

'You know how to fix the pain.'

I bit my lip and dug my nails into my arms where I held them around my knees.

'Do it, and then this will all be over'

My whimpers started to get louder and louder, to a point where I couldn't control the volume anymore.

'DO IT! JUST FUCKING DO IT!'

I started screaming louder when someones arms wrapped around me. I pushed and fought, trying to get away until his voices brought me into the reality of who it was.

"Ivy, Ivy, calm down, calm down," I held on tightly, not letting me go, as I finally stopped thrashing about, "I'm here, just like you asked, right here." I turned and placed my head on his chest, holding onto his shirt as tight as I could, and cried. He held me as I cried and whimpered, trying to put my brain into a point in which I could close my eyes and not panic.

Once I finally quieted down, he finally spoke, "Ivy, what happened," I dug my nails deeper into his shirt, causing him to wince slightly in pain, but not moving. "You can't leave me alone again, I cant be alone again, promise me you wont leave me alone again," Ashton took in a deep breath, placing his lips to my head and whispering, "I promise," I let out another light sob, letting out the last one I had for at least I hoped a very long time.

--

We sat on the ground for thirty or so minutes with the only words being spoken were Ashton reassuring me it would be alright. Ashton kissed my head once again, positioning me in his arms where he was holding me bridal style. He stood up and carried me out of the house, being carefully not to adjust me much. Any other time I would worry about crushing him, but I didn't have enough strength to try to compete with him about that today.

He placed me in the passenger seat of the car, buckling me up. "Luke, I'm going to get some clothes for her, make sure nothing happens, understand?" I tucked my knee's into my chest, looking behind me to see that Calum and Luke were both in the back seat. They both looked so scared and relieved at the same time. Ashton closed my door softly, walking back into my house, but Luke talking brought me back into the people in the car.

"Ivy, you're good, right?," I looked over my should to see Luke hesitantly placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked at his hand for a moment before direction my attention to the dash in front of me. Is this how it is going to be? Are they all just going to look at me like I'm some kind of fragile ornament. Luke removed his hand from my shoulder and leaned back into his seat, starting a conversation with Calum, one I wasn't paying much attention to.

Ashton came out about 5 minutes later, carrying my large duffle and a suitcase with him. He loaded the items into his trunk and got into the drivers seat, looking at me cautiously. "You're going to be alright Ivy," He placed his hand on my thigh, giving it a like squeeze. He turned the car on and backed out of the driver way. Ashton kept his hand rested on my leg the entire time he drove. I kept my eyes focused on his hand, it was kind of reassuring, like I wasn't alone, at least not anymore.

I wasn't sure how long we had been on the road, or how long we had been in Ashton's driveway, but it was long enough for Luke and Calum to disappear and Ashton to be opening my car door. He reached a hand out in front of me, asking me to take it. I looked at it for a few seconds before placing my hand on top. Ashton guided me out of the car and closed the door behind me. "Ivy, I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but I promise, it will get better, okay?"

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