Just Baby Scars (An Ashton Irwin Fan Fiction)

Xx Chapter 13: Reality Check xX

(A/N) Lucky number 13? Right?
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"You... love me?" I was breathless, he couldn't possibly mean that, I mean, look at me. "Yes, Ivy Paige Clifford, I love you," I bit my lip and look down. "But how?" Ashton furrowed his eyebrows, trying to comprehend what I said. "How can you love me, I'm ugly and fat. I'm covered in these hideous marks that will forever prove I wasn't strong enough. I'm forever going to be full of these bad choices. I'm just going to hold you ba-," Ashton sat up quickly, kissing me. "Don't you dare, ever say that to me again Ivy."

I looked down, fighting the urge to break down and tell him everything. "Ivy," He brought my face up, placing a hand under my chin. "I want you to know, that everything that your think brings you down, makes you beautiful. Those scars, are going to show people you fought a war and survived it. It just gives me more of a reason to love you, and I'm going to show you how much you mean to me." I looked at him, seeing the seriousness in his eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek before leaning forward and planting a light kiss on his lips. "I love you too."

Ashton hitched his breath, smiling at me cheekily, "You have no idea how happy that makes me," I laughed lightly, getting off of his lap. He laid down on his back, motioning for him to join him, which I did happily. I curled up, letting his arm wrap around me as I placed my head on his chest. I closed my eyes listening to his breathing until I slowly started to fall asleep.

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I woke up several hours later, for once beating Ashton. I looked towards the window and realize that is was dark outside. Normally I would have panicked because I wasn't home, but Mike probably told mom where I was. Slowly, I released myself from Ashton's grip and slowly climbed out of the bed careful not to wake him. I walked down the hallway surprised to see Anne sitting on the couch in the living room. "Oh hey, how are you feeling?" I smiled, walking into the room and stopping near the end of the couch, "Pretty good, a little sore." She nodded, looking me up and down sending a slight shiver of comfortableness through me.

"Have Ashton and you ate?" I shook my head, shifting my weight to one leg. "I figured, I made some food for you two, you can't take it upstairs if you would like," I smiled gratefully, turning around and walking into the kitchen. I sighed when I saw the two plate, I wasn't really hungry, but I wasn't going to be rude and through her food away. I grabbed both plates and walked back towards Ashton's room, thanking Anne along the way. I walked into Ashton's bedroom, seeing that we was still sound asleep.

"Ash?" I shook him lightly, hoping that would wake him up. Not so much. I frowned, shaking him rougher, still not getting my desired result. I bit my lip, trying to figure out my next plan of action. I smiled to myself, after figuring out what I was going to do next. I leaned down, running a hand through his curls and kissing him. I felt him shift, sitting up and placing on of his hands behind my neck, deepening the kiss. I reluctantly pulled away, smiling at him. "If that's how I am going to get woken up everyday, I'm a damn lucky guy."

I let a small laugh escape my lips, pushing myself off of him and grabbing the two plates of food I brought in. He smiled at me, taking one of the plates and digging in. He occasionally looked at me, the happiness shining through his eyes. I picked slightly at my food, mostly moving it around. It wasn't that I wasn't hungry, it's just that it wasn't worth giving up all I had worked for. "Ivy," I looked at Ashton, recognizing the cautious tone in his voice. "Please eat," I bit my cheek, how the hell did he notice. "I saw that you didn't eat the other day, and the nurses told me you were extremely under weight." I shook my head, looking at my body in disgust.

"This is not under weight Ashton," I poked my stomach, shaking my head. Ashton's arms wrapped around my waist, him pulling me onto his lap, placing the plate in front of me. "Please, for me?" He placed a kiss, encouraging me. I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to win this fight. I picked up the fork, taking a small bite. I cringed, not because the food tasted bad, it had just been so long. "Ivy, how long has it been since you had a proper meal?" I shrugged, looking at the plate before me. "Ivy, I know you know, just tell me."

I bit my lip, looking at him and holding up three fingers. "Please tell me that is for three hours," I shook my head, now becoming slightly uncomfortable. "Three days?"I could still hear a small sliver of hope in his voice, but I knew I was going to destroy it as I shook my head. "Three weeks?" I let my shoulders fall, hearing all the sadness in his voice, hurt me, more than I really expected it ever too. Ashton shook his head, clenching his fist. "I could have stopped this." I looked at him, furrowing my eyebrows. "Ash, you weren't even here three weeks ago." He shook his head, looking at the posters across the wall.

"The boys and I we were going to come back earlier and surprise our families, but management asked us if we wanted to do a few meet and greets and we said yes." His body was starting to shake, which was honestly scaring me. "If I hadn't said yes, I could've been here." I frowned slightly at him. That wasn't his fault, even if he had said no, it would have been 3 to 1. "Ashton, don't blame yourself for my actions, I probably would have done it anyway." Wrong thing to say. Ashton's fist released, falling loosely at his side. "So you're saying, if I had been here you would have done it anyway."

I shook my head, realizing that he hasn't gotten the point of everything I'm saying. "Ashton, what I am saying is that, it's happened, but you are here, and I know you are going to do whatever it takes to make me better. I believe in you." Ashton looked at me, a slight frown on his face. "You really are something else," I smiled, watching his smile creep back. I nuzzled my head into his neck, feeling him playing with the ends of my hair. "I love you," I mumbled into his neck, feeling him move beneath me. "God, I'm never going to get over hearing you say that."

I softly laughed at his words, focusing on his thumb rubbing on my hand. This is perfect.

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~~1 year later~~

"Ashton," He held his hands by his side, "What?" I flinched at his words, not this again. "You have to get ready for tour," He sighed in annoyance. "No fucking shit, Ivy, do I look like a fucking idiot," He raised his hand, making me flinch down. "Please Ashton, I'm just trying to help. What do you need me to do." He rolled his eyes, slamming his hand down on the desk. "I need you to get the fuck out, I can't hear your voice any-fucking-more," I sighed, turning around. "And never come back," It's always like this now, I thought he loved me, but it just wasn't there anymore.

I walked out of the house, and started making my way down the street. It was raining, of course, because nothing like adding a dramatic effect to this moment, thanks god. I walked up the driveway to Luke and Calum's apartment, knocking on the door. I had been crying, but I figured the rain was covering it up. Calum answered the door, confusion surfacing on his face, "Ivy, what are you doing here, we leave on tour in a few hours," Luke's head popped out from behind Calum. "Ashton." His voice was serious, a hard look on his face.

I only glanced over at him, not wanting to actually say it. "Ivy, did he," Calum swallowed hard before continuing, "Did he hurt you," I shook my head slowly at least not physically. I refused to make contact with Luke, knowing that he would be pissed. "Ivy, what happened?" I looked over my shoulder, partially scared that he was going to show up. "He told me to get out," I fought the urge to break out in tears. "And never come back."

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"Ivy!" Ashton was holding me in his arms, shaking me. "Oh my god, Ivy," He pulled me close, a tear slipping from my eye. "You were having a nightmare." I leaned back, letting out a sigh. Only a dream, Ivy, only a dream. I wiped the tears off my face. "Ashton, you would never hurt me right," He gave me a shocked expression, opening his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

He shook his head, gripping my shoulders tightly. I could see the fear that was in his eyes, something that he wasn't telling me, but I wasn't going to push it, I had obviously touched a sensitive subject for him. "Ivy, why would you," He stopped, collecting his thoughts, "Why would you ask that?" I sighed, my eyes watering again.

"Things can happen Ashton, things we never thought possible."

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(A/N) Well crap, I can't believe I did that... I feel like crying, mainly because when I typed it I actually got scare. Like what if that were to actually happen. Here I go again. UGH, I'm posting this before my parents notice me crying. Hope you enjoyed, this kind of confusing chapter, wow okay, you can ask me if you don't understand. Please heart/comment/share/ and follow! MUAH!