I, Ache Vol. III

A Christmas Story | Celestine

Written by magicheart21

I sat quietly in the car as David, my husband for three weeks now, drove us to my parents' house.

I was both excited and scared to be going home for the holidays. All my siblings would be there. Since we lived and worked in different parts of the country, a reunion like this was quite rare. The last time this happened was for... for Dad's funeral.

This would be our first Christmas without him and I didn't  think I could bear seeing the loneliness in Mom's eyes.

I closed my eyes, looked out the window and sighed, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes.

David must have sensed this because he reached out and placed his free hand on mine.

"We can stop if you want. We can call and go back."

"No. Mom is waiting for us." I turned to look at him and managed a weak smile. "I'll be okay."

David smiled, raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

We continued our long drive home.

I remained quiet and David understood.

He always understood. We were together for five years before we got married and not only did he know  me well, he loved me well, too.

David would give me the world if he could and he knew how much I dreamt of having Dad on our wedding day. How I envisioned him and Mom walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at the reception.

Sadly, that didn't happen and I felt just how disappointed he was because he couldn't grant me that wish. He never complained though and he still did his best to give me a beautiful and memorable wedding.

David was selfless like that and it was one of the many reasons why I love him.

When we got to the house, most of my siblings and their families were already there. Mom stood waiting on the porch with a smile on her face. I again fought back the tears that brimmed on my eyes and sighed. David firmly held my hand in his as we walked to the house.

Mom, despite her gray hair, the lines on her face and wrinkles on her hands, was still as beautiful as she was when she was much younger.

After we went up the steps and she collected me in her arms, I felt that she was as warm and smelled as sweet as I remembered.

"Celestine, our little star, welcome home." She whispered softly.

Hearing Mom and Dad's childhood endearment for me was too much for me to handle.

My tears finally had their way and flowed freely as I hugged Mom tighter.

"I missed you, Mom."

"Hey, don't cry, love. Tsk... Always the cry baby..." Mom chuckled. "I missed you, too. Come inside. Dinner will be ready soon." Mom said.

David greeted and hugged Mom as well before we all went inside.

Little later, I found myself lying flat on the bed of my old room, staring at the ceiling as the minutes dragged on while David changed.

"Babe? Aren't you going to change for dinner?" He asked.

"I'm not going to dinner. I can't... I just..." I sighed and sat up. "I can't sit at that table and see that empty chair where Dad used to sit. I can't look at Mom while she tries to smile and show us that she's fine because I know she isn't. I just can't, Babe. I can't be in this house and not remember that we don't have Dad anymore. I just...  I need time alone to let it all sink in. Please..."