Infinity .:Joshler:.

9

**self harm at last paragraph of this chapter and the whole next chapter**

school was not fun today. pulling up to school was fine, but once Josh stepped out of the passenger side of my car, that's when everything went crazy. people wouldn't stop laughing or pushing me around in the halls, and i'm sure Josh had been through the same. i had to go to the principal's office today when i yelled at a kid in class because the kid being rude was none other than Brendon Fucking Urie.

of course he laughed when i walked out of the classroom with smoke blowing out my ears. i already dropped Josh off at his house and the last words he said before i drove off were, "call me if you need anything, and be careful."

and now i'm sitting in my car, by the curb, staring at the window. no movement, which is probably a sign that my mom or my dad is waiting for me inside. i took in a breath as i got out of my car and locked it behind me.

i climbed up the steps and opened the front door to inside. i looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. i took a step forward with my boots still on and i heard a crunch from under it. i stepped back and saw dark brown glass scattered on the floor, and a broken beer bottle tossed helplessly to the floor close by.

i gulped, "you're home, finally."

i looked up when i heard it and met my father's eyes with mine and the smell of smoke slapped me in the face.

"h-hey dad," i spoke quietly.

"now, who is this boy your mother was telling me about? that you left with this morning?"

he took a step forward and i took a microscopic step back, afraid that if i move too far he'll jump.

"a friend,"

"does your 'friend' have a name?"

i shook my head, "no,"

"don't play smart with me Tyler, give me his name."

"Josh."

"Josh?"

"Dun,"

he nodded his head slowly as he turned around, "i never thought you were gay,"

i sighed as he continued, "i guess that makes you a fag,"

"dad, stop,"

he went over to the fridge on the other side of the room and turned back around with two beer bottles in his hands, holding one out for me but i denied his offer. i'm not even 18 yet. he clenched his jaw and smashed the end on the wall nearby, causing liquid and glass to fly everywhere. i jolted at the action.

"don't tell me what to do Tyler!" he yelled as he pointed the broken bottle at me. i put my hands up in surrender because i don't want to get hurt today.

"there's a reason to why i've never loved you!"

he threw the bottle to the floor and it shattered. my heart was racing.

"your siblings are better than you'll ever be, and you don't deserve to live. you belong in hell Tyler, you do."

i bent down and picked up a piece of glass when my dad came over and pushed me over. he kicked me in the side multiple times once i was on my back. i grabbed his foot and held it away from me but he just bent down and punched me in the jaw. he took pieces of the glass laying around and cut me on my shoulder as i cried out in pain.

"we waisted all this time on an idiot like you!" he shouted so loudly i'm sure the whole town could hear. but nobody did anything because nobody knew what goes on here.

i reached up and punched him in the nose which sent him falling onto his back. i took this chance to stand up with my back to the door that lead outside and tried to catch my breath. he shook the pain off and glared at me with full hatred in his eyes. he pushed himself up and walked to the kitchen as he cursed loudly.

i heard a drawer open. then the scratching of two blades together. then the drawer closed. my dad grabbed the biggest knife we owned and my eyes grew huge. i reached for the door behind me but couldn't find the knob. no no no, now is not the time.

i pushed his arm away when he tried to stab me in the chest so it got stuck in the wall. i took this advantage to finally open the door and sprint to my car. i didn't look back once. i kept driving until the words my dad said to me were almost out of my head.

"i guess that makes you a fag," "there's a reason to why i've never loved you!"

i stopped at a gas station to buy some time. it was already starting to get dark and i wasn't planning on going home anytime soon. so, i'll park my car and sleep here for tonight. i grabbed a blanket from the backseat and leaned my seat back so i was still sitting up but not fully. i covered myself up until i felt something sharp in my pocket poke my leg. i reached inside and pulled out the piece of beer bottle glass i grabbed off the floor.

i looked around at every corner surrounding my car and it was completely deserted. i looked at the glass. i pushed the blanket off and lifted up my shirt to reveal 2 lines going across my stomach from earlier times. i put this glass on one side and slid it across to the other 4 times. 6 lines all together. then as the blood seeped out of the wound, i pulled my shirt back down and called Josh.