Infinity .:Joshler:.

30

walking around in school by myself felt different. i was alone and it sucked because everyone was apologizing and saying "sorry for your loss". and i just wanted to cry every time someone brought up Tyler. i miss him too much.

i stopped at my locker where i saw Brendon. i glared then turned to walk away but he stopped me and i turned around sharply.

"what Brendon?" i asked through gritted teeth.

"i just wanted to say i'm sorry."

i squinted my eyes, trying to decide if he was being honest or the jerk he is, "i've been such a dick that i forgot about other people's feelings. i'm sorry about Tyler,"

i relaxed a little and sadness quickly washed over me, no matter how hard i tried to fight it, "and i wish he was still here." he awkwardly rubbed his hands together. i quickly pulled him in a hug and started to feel tears roll down my cheeks. but i didn't care.

he rubbed my back soothingly as he wrapped his arms around my torso, "i forgive you Brendon. not for everything, but for a few."

we pulled away as he patted me on the back with a smile then turned to walk away. i smiled quickly before opening my locker and grabbing my things for class. when i picked up one of my binders, a small piece of paper fell out onto the floor. i furrowed my eyebrows and bent down to pick it up.

Josh <3

it read. i unfolded the paper and saw 4 simple words on the inside:

i love you.
-Tyler

that's it. that's all a note had to say to make me smile. i put the note back in my locker before closing it and heading to class. i walked in and sat down as people gave me apologetic looks and sad smiles as i returned them. but when i thought of the note, i don't know how it got there or how long it's been there, i smiled immediately.

///

Tyler's friends cried. especially Patrick. but we all hugged and promised each other we'd stick together for Tyler. nothing was going to break us apart because it was for him. that was at lunch. now, it was 10:30 at night and i couldn't sleep. i was so tired but every time i closed my eyes, i couldn't relax.

something was keeping me awake. i got up and out of bed and went over to the window in my room and opened it. i looked out at the darkness. the air was cold but i didn't mind the little goosebumps forming on my arms. i rested my arms on the window pane and let out a sigh.

i looked up at the stars and tried to remember constellations from when i was a child, when i saw one sort of flicker. i knitted my eyebrows and it did it again. Tyler. was he trying to say something? i felt tears sting at the corners of my eyes and one run down my cheek.

"i miss you Ty. i really wish you were here with me right now. but now you're really far away," i said that last part in a sarcastic tone, knowing that if he was next to me he'd tell me to shut up with a smile on his face, "everyone today said they were sorry on how they treated you and that they're really sad that you had to go so early. i want you next to me."

i paused, "it felt weird without you today. i really wish you didn't get cancer in the first place, so you were still here. you didn't deserve to die so young, you really didn't. and even if you may protest, i don't care because it's true. i hope to see you again someday. i need you."

i didn't know where i was looking besides up but i tried to focus on one star. but i couldn't. i didn't know where to look, i didn't know which one was him anymore from the billions of stars visible to us here on earth.

i took in a breath, "i love you, Ty."

a second later, a shooting star cruised by in the sky. it's a sign. i smiled as i could feel him right next to me, resting his head on my shoulder and looking up at the sky as we laced out fingers together. i felt a tear roll down my cheek again as i wiped it away. i miss him so much, but i know he's okay, and he's next to me for every step of the way for the rest of my life.

end