Infinity .:Joshler:.

29

it's been about 3 days and i'd like to say it's been going well, but it hasn't. everything is the same and nothing is working. the doctor informed me many times that the treatment is working and that it just needs time. but we don't have much time which is the problem.

i wake myself up in the middle of the night to check on Ty, just to make sure he's still here. but tonight, i didn't need to wake myself up. he was one step ahead.

"Josh," Tyler spoke quietly. i looked at him and saw he wasn't moving. i still laid in his bed like every night. i rubbed his shoulder and got a better look at his face.

"yeah Ty?" i asked.

"i'm scared,"

"why?"

"it's time."

my heart skipped a beat and i looked at his face a little bit better than i already was, "don't scare me Ty,"

"i'm not trying to,"

his face was starting to pale even more and he was sweating a little. i reached for the call button to have a doctor come in and try to stop him from leaving but Tyler reached it before i did. i looked at him like he was crazy.

"i need to call in a nurse to take care of you," i explained but he shook his head and put his free hand in mine, "i want it to just be us."

he moved his head so it was staring up at the ceiling but i moved it back to look at me again.

"no, no, don't do that. please don't leave me."

"i got to meet you, turn 18, live a life that may not have been the best but i'm still here. i may not be able to go to college like my parents wanted me to, or be in a band like i wanted, but i got to meet you. and that's all the matters to me, Josh."

he removed my hand from his cheek.

"but we were supposed to get married and adopt kids, name one of them James or some simple name like that and watch them go off to college, and then us being together until we're old. we're supposed to be together, Ty, and i can't do that without you here." i was crying now.

he grabbed my hand tightly, "i'm still here with you, no matter what. thank you for everything; being there with me through all this mess, sleeping with me at night when i couldn't from all the dreams, just being there even though it was against your reputation. thank you for being my boyfriend. don't forget about me."

he smiled weakly again, trying to hold back tears, "i love you Josh,"

i nodded, "i love you too, Ty."

he looked back up at the ceiling and made a small smile, "the light," i said. he glanced quickly at me, "what about it?"

"what does it look like?"

"a big, bright flashlight, that gets closer each second."

i watched him some more, with my vision blurred from the tears, before he squeezed my hand with enough strength he could muster, "don't let go," he said with his last breath. it brought me back:

he didn't protest but seemed upset, so he did anyways. i got out after him and looked at his hollow face again. i stared at him and my face was twisted into sadness, along with his. i hurried over to his side where i hugged him with full force. i sobbed into his shoulder and he did the same as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"i'm sorry i didn't check on you and i'm sorry i didn't go find you. i'm so sorry,"

he rubbed my back, "i'm sorry i ran away,"

i loosened my grip the tiniest bit when he spoke out, "don't let go,"

i chuckled quietly, "i'm not going to, ever,"

this time i wasn't chuckling. he forced himself to take one more breath in but he couldn't. he closed his eyes.

"i'm not going to." i felt a warm tear roll slowly down my face as he relaxed in my arms, "ever."