Book Of Phan One Shots

change of heart

"Maybe if it was meant to be it would have happened."  A hand is clapped hard against my back causing me to cough out a sob.  I burry my face in my coat sleeve trying to dry my wet cheeks. 

"It just hurts because I wanted it to work out so bad.  It should have worked out."  My voice is muffled by my sobs.  I slam my hands against the ground in disappointment.

I remember everything so well, it's like I'm falling back into the memories again.  Watching our perfect world play out like a bad film.  Cheesy and in love leading to absolute wreckage.

...

I took a deep breath and perched the violin against my neck and shoulder.  I've been preparing for this audition my whole life.  If I could get accepted into this music school my life would be complete.  Sat in front of me were some of the older students and staff.  They were going to judge me today and decide my fate. 

I counted to three and began to play.  I knew I was a decent violinist but I didn't know if I had to skill to truly excel at the instrument.  In front of me were people who had devoted their lives to the love of music and I didn't feel worthy. 

The bow in my hand feels like a weapon, a familiar one at that.  I try to imagine myself back in my little room practicing.  As I exhale I play the last note. 

I think the worst part about the auditions was that I was last.  That means that they had already seen dozens of violinists before me.  They could compare me so easily.  It seemed incredibly hard to blow them out of the water when they've spent the whole day listening to various students. 

I nod as a thanks and walk off the stage.  As soon as my foot drags its last step off of the stage I hear the crowd break into conversation.  Holding my breath I try to make out my surroundings.  But it's hard when the world is spinning and I can't seem to find my balance.

I pack up my instrument and begin to make my way off of the campus.  Outside the wind bites at my ears so I'm forced to pull my hood up. 

"Hey, you're Phil, right?" A voice calls from behind me.  I turn on my heel to see a boy with dark curly hair and large chocolate eyes. 

"Yeah." I nod and he smiles jogging up to me.

"I'm Dan.  I'm one of he auditioning judges.  I just wanted to say you really have a knack for the art."  He doesn't seem nervous.  He's confident, standing straight, chest puffed out.  His hands are rested artfully at his sides.

"Thanks.  What do you play?"  I try to mimic his confidence but the world still seems unsteady. 

"Pianist."  A large grin spreads across his face, "I'm not supposed to say anything but you have a spot for sure."

"Really?"  I almost screen.  My chest fills up as Dan smiles at my reaction. I've never been certain about my future. But now I feel like I have a purpose, something I can truly commit to.

He nods, "really, really." 

I can't stop myself from throwing my arms around his neck in a hug, "I can't thank you enough."  He smells the way a garden would after a rainy day. 

"Hey, you're the one that did it.  Not me."  He hugs back, his hands snake around my back and I can feel their magic even over my shirt.