Book Of Phan One Shots

may as well

"Run, fucking run!"  Dan screamed, his voice tight with fear.  His hands pushed me forward to get my feet to move.  It was useless, though.  I was stuck.

///

I didn't mean for it to be like this, but here I am.  The sun was lazily hanging in the sky, over our heads.  Dan's feet were stretched out in front of him, his shoes dirty from the trek here.  His shirt was torn, but he didn't care, for all he knows we're free.

But I know that will never be the case, I couldn't break it to him, though.  Eventually, we will be found, and we will be thrown back into that damn orphanage, "I missed seeing the sun like this, through leaves and not bricks."  Dan gushes, his eyes closed soaking in the light.  His hair is styled to the side so that it crosses over his one eyebrow.  It's a bit shorter than normal, and I wished it was longer.  When my hands can pull at it is the best, now the strands will just slip through my fingers. 

"Me too."  I try to sound convincing, I really do try, but my words carry worry even a deaf man could hear.  Dan's eyes snap open, and I'm greeted with a slanted gaze.  His nose turns up in concentration.

He pushes himself forward and with muddy hands grabs my knees, "we're fine.  Okay? We can finally be together." I smile, but a frown is what he sees instead, "I know you're scared.  I am too, but we can make this work.  I can get a job at a fast food place and eventually rent out an apartment or something.  You can play guitar for tips, and when we're older, we can go to college and finally start a life."  I want to believe him so bad; his face is so full of hope.  I imagine us together in a small apartment, my hands sore from playing all day and him smelling like fryer grease, "and this way we can be together."  He kisses my forehead ending his little monolog.

The orphanage was against us having a relationship, with a burning passion they hated us.  We tainted those walls with our love; we mine as well been contagious with some disease.  Dan looks at me with the same puppy dog eyes he used to get me to do this in the first place.  Dark and light swirled together in his iris, the sun making his pupils grow smaller.  I can see the clouds in them, all fluffy and free.  I wish I was a cloud with Dan.  That way we could float on forever watching the world as we do so.  The sun would warm our backs, and when needed we would water crops and flowers.

"Okay."  I nod trying to be brave.  If I can do anything, I can try.  For Dan, at least. 

///

The joy didn't last long; sure we were able to make out when we wanted and didn't have a supervisor breathing down out necks, but that seems almost easy now.  We spend our nights under trees or curled up on benches.  Dan loves it; he's still excited by the idea of controlling his own life.  I'm just tired and hungry.  His cheeks are hallowing, I try to tell him, but he doesn't listen.  The adventure still gleams brightly in his eyes, his thoughts of the future still vivid with hope.  My old guitar earns me very little every day, and Dan searches for a job that doesn't require personal information.  Back at the orphanage, they have our personal files; we don't have social security numbers or birth certificates.  We're blank faces without any chance of survival. 

We sit on a wall inside of an alley; Dan is blabbing on about he might find a job at a diner that needs dishwashers.  My eyes are spacey as I focus on a family opposite of the road. 

"Phil?" Dan's voice sounds worried. Oh no, I'm letting him see my discomfort.

I look back at him and my heart wrenches, his face his dirty and his lips are pulled down with worry, "yeah?"

"Are you okay?"  He takes ahold of my hands, and they're still as familiar as I remember.  They fold over mine like blankets on a bed, warm and comforting, "I promise you we will make it.  It seems hard now, but it will get better."

"Okay."  My voice is breathy, all drained of hope.

He pulls me close and plants his lips on mine.  The feeling he gives me has been the closest I've come to a home.  My heart beat kicks up, and I feel like I'm above the ground, levitating.  He holds down my shoulders to prevent me from flying away.  Dan's lips are chapped, and his hair is a mess, but I enjoy it all anyway.  Maybe we can make it, maybe it all will be okay. 

He pulls away for a minute to breath, and I can feel his breath on my cheeks.  I hold his neck between my hands, feeling his pulse.  We're alive; we're in love, we're fine.  We're going to be okay.  As long as I have him, I have a home. 

"I love you,"  I mumble, and I can feel him smile through the kiss.

"Hey!"  A loud familiar voice calls and I snap away from Dan to see one of our superiors standing with a man dressed in chefs clothes.

Dan's eyes turn wild, and he pulls me up off the ground, "shit, that's the diner guy.  Fuck, he must have turned us in.  Fuck fuck fuck."

They begin to close in on us, and Dan grabs my hand, "we have to go, Phil."

I don't move; I can't. 

"Run, fucking run!"  Dan screamed, his voice tight with fear.  His hands pushed me forward to get my feet to move.  It was useless, though.  I was stuck.

Dan's eyes are full of tears as our supervisor makes his way over, "Daniel Howell and Philip Lester."  He seems to be bored as he reads our names, "you two are in big trouble."

"Please, let us stay together.  Take me back, but I need to see Phil!"  Dan pleads, "Phil, run."  It's weak, though; we've been found,

AN: this was a weird one, wasn't it pals, 

whoops, enjoy anyway i guess