Joe sugg imagine's

38. I'm only your everything when your alone

Y/N p.o.v
Through blurry vision I saw the light of my horrible phone flash, he had texted me. Red raw cheeks, tears stream down my face I internally fight myself either to answer or ignore him. I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't but there is an urge inside me, a desire for him but I know he doesn't feel the same. Picking up my Phone, my hands trembles beneath it, I can here them torment from inside me "Stop being so emotional" "your too sensitive" they would say. The text read, 'meet at mine' , I can't do this anymore, if he finds someone else he'll only treat me like dirt again.

My heart plummeted to the bottom of my stomach as I felt the anger burn through me. 'He will treat you the same as the rest' the words sung in my head like an annoying nursery rhyme. I got up grabbed my phone, bag and keys, stomping out of the house unsure of what was going to happen. Of course it would rain as I walked down the street to the all too familiar house that was Joe's, my tears felt like scars but fortunately the rain covered them up for me. I knock on the door and see his familiar blue eyes and mop of blonde hair.

"I can't, I cant do this anymore!" I shout heat burning my cheeks, thats when my eyes meet his for the first time. Something was different, his eyes drooped down and he frowns, "w-whats wrong" I ask immediately regretting shouting at him. "Come in" he mumbles and turns to go into the living room, I sit down on the sofa next to him. "Look y/n i've been treating you like shit, it's not like me to do that" he begins, I'm confused what is he doing. "I don't know what got into me, I had been so alone before you, very alone" He continued pausing a little in between sentences.

"I can't believe how much of a dick I have been, when I met you, you literally brightened up my life like no other person ever has and I just used you" he stopped a moment looking towards the window. Rain still patted gently against the glass like a lullaby, "I don't ask for forgiveness from you, god knows I don't deserve it, I started drinking sleeping around going out with other girls" he admits. "I only called you when I was alone again, you were like an antidepressant I guess but your not your so much more than that, so much that I couldn't see what I had become".

I took a moment to look at Joe, I couldn't believe he was saying this to me, I just thought he was another fuck boy I needed to get rid of but I had never seen this side of him. "Joe, what are you saying" I almost whisper that's when I see his also tear streaked cheeks, trembling bottom lip and sad eyes. "I'm not the guy you think I am, I'm not this guy who sleeps around with women and then doesn't talk to then, well at least I don't want to be" he says. "I want to be myself not this persona that has taking over me and out of all the girls you are the only one I soberly want to be with" he says looking at his shoes.

My heart aches but my head isn't having any of it, although I don't shout I simply say "I don't want to be fucked around anymore, I feel connected to you somehow that's why I haven't left yet" his eyes brighten when I say connect. "You feel it too" he says, I nod my head is still screaming this is a trick, he doesn't mean anything he says but my heart speaks over it flawlessly saying this is something special. I can't deny it we have problems but instead of it pushing us apart it could bring us close. I no longer have to be just his everything when he is alone, I can now be simply his everything.