How To Forget

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Epekto

"My work's done here, I'm leaving," my Kuya Paulo declared and stood up. Tumingala ako at pinalis ulit ang luhang tumutulo sa aking pisngi sa huling pagkakataon. I thought I'm already done with these stupid tears!

Fuck it! Bakit ba kayo lumalabas!?

I saw pity on my Kuya's eyes.

And the rage within me was now fueled, I honestly don't know why he's sticking his nose to my business but I will give it to him this time. Maybe he's just being a good brother. And he got some points, too. Wala dapat sa plano kong itago kila Mommy ang tungkol kay Xavier pero naunahan ako ng takot at sakit at poot...

My parents will loathe Xavier for sure if they'll know. Every parent will surely hate someone that hurts their child.

At kaya ako natatakot dahil masakit pa rin aminin, masakit bigkasin ang mga salitang nagsasabi na wala na. Because I know deep inside my heart, I still don't accept it that's why it hurts even if I'll just spit some words, it will still hurt me because I still love him and he still matters.

Maybe Kuya Paulo is just doing his duty as my older brother, keeping me away from troubles. He always does that anyway.

Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan ay ang awa na nakita ko sa mga mata niya kanina. I don't need pity! From anyone! Not even from my own blood!

Nagtagis ang bagang ko habang tinitingnan siya pabalik. Ang kanyang mga mata ay punong puno ng pagaalala, like I have some cancer and I'm dying because of it.

"I have your word, Keng. I know you keep your words but I still want to be sure with that, I'll be expecting some truth on Saturday," malumanay niyang sabi habang tinitingnan ako, I licked my lips and looked away.

"Makakaasa ka, Kuya. I'll fulfill my promise if you will stay Xavier out of this," matigas kong sabi at tumango siya. I watched him took a deep breath, inilagay niya ang kanyang mga kamay sa kanyang bulsa.

Tumayo na rin ako at pinulot na ang aking frappe, I turned my back at my Kuya Paulo at dire-diretsong lumabas sa pintuan. I stood up beside the glass door and waited for my Kuya Pau to come out. My parents raised us well, kahit may naramdaman akong galit o inis kay Kuya ngayon ay ipinagsasawalang bahala ko ito. Not respecting him is the least I'll do.

Maybe this hatred will fade or will be vanished in time. Pilit ko pa ring pinapaintindi sa aking sarili na okay lang na makialam siya, he's my brother after all. At ang pamilya mo lang ang makakaramay mo sa lahat ng bagay. Maybe I wasn't just used with this. That I had some troubles and Kuya Paulo is now fixing it and helping me to do so.

I sighed heavily when he turned at me, I almost sighed again because of relief when I can no longer see the pity on his eyes just like what I saw earlier. Ngumiti siya ng tipid sa akin saka lumapit, he immediately wrapped his arms around me. Napapikit ako ng mariin.

I buried my face on his chest. The tip of my nose touched his neck. His manly scent instantly filled my nose. Naramdaman kong hinigpitan pa niya lalo ang pagkakayakap sa akin, I shut my eyes tightly to prevent the tears. Uminit na kasi ang gilid ng aking mga mata nang yinakap ako ni Kuya.

"I hope you don't hate me with this, Keng. This is for you..." mahina niya sabi, my hands found its way to tap his broad back.

"I don't hate you, Kuya. I understand...." sagot ko, humiwalay na siya sa yakap. He held both of my shoulders and a smile were now plastered on his lips.