Fighter (Anthony Rizzo)

Tired

Anthony

It's the last road trip of the season and I was actually really sad. Road trips are where I get to chill with the boys, we were like a family. We could just go into each other's rooms and talk about anything. I could talk stats with Kris or dogs with Willson. I had a bond with each guy on the team and knew I could talk to them whenever I wanted. These were my brothers. I always loved these guys and even though most of the guys who were starters weren't playing much this last series, these games are still meaningful because it's the last with this group of guys. On paper nothing will change, but in actual real life these games mean the world to us.

We decided to go out to dinner for the last time in the regular season and we try not to get too emotional.

"Can I just say, as someone who originally wasn't going to be on this team, thank GOD I didn't end up with the Orioles" Dexter says causing us to laugh.

"Remember when people told me I was crazy for coming here" Jason comments and we all laugh harder. I know for a fact we wouldn't have such a big run differential without Dexters bat and Jason's glove.

"All I know is that we've been favored all season so win it all and we can finally prove that we can do it soon" Kris says sipping on a water.

"I can't wait for the post season to start. I'm not ready to leave but I'm ready for all this to be over" David admits.

"Me too, I need another ring" Lackey jokes.

"Yeah, you didn't come for a haircut" Kyle jokes back and Lack kicks him under the table.

"You need one though" Jake says grabbing at his hair. Once we all stop messing with Lackey our food comes and we eat our carbs.

"Can you imagine what it's going to be like if we win the World Series" I ask.

"Do you know how many babies will be born nine months from then" Javy asks. He wasn't wrong.

"I just hope all the people who have waited forever can see it" David says.

"Yeah, I mean you are the only one who was alive the last time the Cubs won" Kris says and David throws a dinner roll at him. I'm going to miss grandpa.

"Seriously though, there's so many reasons why we need to do this this year. I haven't wanted something so bad in my life. This team, if we can't do it I don't know who can. This is the year, I know it" I say and everyone nods along. Glad we're all on the same page.

A lot was riding on this post season. I wanted to win for those kids in the hospital who needed something to get excited about. For the people who's spouse might have passed waiting for it. For the die hard fans who literally waited their whole life for this. So many reasons to win it all this year, now all we had to do is win 11 games, it can't be that hard right?

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Some of the boys go out for a drink after dinner but I learned my lesson. I decide to go to the hotel and watch tv all night until I pass out. That was until my phone rings and Camillas photo shows up. I find myself smiling as I answer the phone only to have the smile be taken off my face.

"Anthony" she says softly and I can tell she had been crying. I feel like my heart is ripped out of my chest and was stomped on.

"Baby what's wrong" I ask trying to hide the fear in my voice but failing. The possibilities of things that could have gone wrong.

"I miss you" she says lowly and I feel a tear fall. God this was the worst time for this to happen. I'm not even playing, I just want to be home with her and Puck comforting her. It sucks that I can't.

"I miss you too, I'm going to be home tomorrow after the game then we can go to the diner and make ridiculous orders until Michael yells at us again" I promise and she giggles a little. That tells me at least she's in a good enough state of mind to talk some sense into her.

"I'm so tired" she says.

"You can go to bed, it's late. I'll call you in the morning."

"No Anthony, I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of fighting."

"Hey now, don't say that. Every time you get tired remember why you held on so long in the first place."

"I... I don't know. I really don't."

"Tell me some of the things you live for."

"To explore. To learn new things and find out how things work. To see the beauty this world has to offer, every last inch of it. I wanted to know what it was like to have a real job, to be able to make a difference in people's lives. I wanted to see my brother get married and start a family, I wanted to make my family proud of the things I've accomplished. I live to love, especially when it comes to you. I would do anything to hear that laugh of yours."

"Okay, and if you stop fighting you can't have any of that. Your parents lose their daughter and your brother loses his sister. All those kids you've helped at the hospital lose their inspiration. All the people you were going to help won't get it. This team wouldn't be as dynamic without you. You can't explore and learn. And I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have you. Whether you realize it or not you're my whole world and I can't do this without you."

The line falls silent and I check to see if she's still there.

"Thank you, I needed to hear that in the worst way possible" she says and I let out a breath. That scared the shit out of me. She just took another test to see if the cancer was gone and I think she's scared that it isn't. It's been over a month of intense chemo and I can tell it's wearing her down. I'm just praying it's all over soon.

We talk for a little and she sounded back to normal by the end of the conversation but I was still concerned. After we hang up I text Bri and ask if she could stay the night at my place and she easily agreed.

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I get home the next night and find Cubbie curled up in Camilla's arms fast asleep. I smile at the sight and decide to plan her birthday celebration while she was out. I make a list of the players and their wives, friends from school, and people from the diner to invite over and mine and her family of course. I send out emails of the time they should be at the location and the theme. Her birthday is next week and I wanted to do something special for her. Now that the party is planned all I have to do is get a gift.

I find her drawing pad and flip through it, there had to be around a hundred drawings in here. I go back to the one of us kissing in front of the bean with the city behind us. That one was so special. I look up at the picture I had hanging of me playing for the Cubs hanging up on the wall in the living room. This drawing would look great there, this was our place after all. I decide to pull some strings and got the drawing blown up and put onto a canvas to hang up as part of her present.