20|part two: how can i save a fallen angel / thank you for loving me

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A/N:
I'm sorry. This was planned since the beginning of the story.

The original title of this story was "Fallen Angel", but became Walking After You.

The other song this chapter has:

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{Pete's POV) December 28th, 2017

The nagging guilt still got to me. I noticed Josh had started to act differently in the last while. Almost like he was distant from me. He frequently cried at night for some reason now. I don't even know why. I didn't want to make it worse, or even tell Josh the truth.

I wanted Josh to stay happy but at what cost? What damn cost? I tell him when we're old and he hates me when he dies? Or I do it now? I had to do something to tell Josh. Besides, we we're married now. We had Saint and hadn't gotten around to changing Bronx's custody.

I decided to call someone I hadn't talked to in a while. I only had Amanda's number because of her involvement in the wedding. But she'd broken her engagement with her fiancé, and they'd been happy. What happened?

"Amanda, I-I think Josh isn't happy with me." I spoke up. She knew Josh the best in my opinion, they'd been together. They had been so so happy until she cheated and found out he had years ago with me. I wondered if we were even meant to be together. I wonder if Josh was meant for someone else.

"Pete.... Josh and I had a serious talk. He explained some of how he worried and confided in me he was concerned you were straying." Amanda said. Josh and her were still very close and I trusted her not to disrupt us. I didn't know at the time how close they remained.

"Amanda, I cheated on Josh... I don't know how to tell him. I was drunk and stupid about six days after Saint was born." I confessed. She was super trustworthy. I wouldn't change that for the world, because she gave me advice about Josh.

"Pete.... Do you really want Saint growing up with two parents who don't obviously feel the love for each other anymore? I can tell you don't want Josh anymore." Amanda said, and I sighed. She was right. I'd thought about this for a while now. I realized I was forcing myself to be something I'm not to make Josh happy. I had wanted Josh to be happy. Maybe for him to be happy he needs to be with someone that truly loves him.

I came home hearing Josh crying in the other room. I knew I had to do this, I had to make Josh happy and if that meant breaking us up and letting my fallen angel go back to the one that made him gain his wings -- it would be for the best.

"Josh." I spoke up, knowing how hard it was for him too. I knew how hard it was for him. I knew that the world was going to collapse in on him. "Josh, we need to talk."

"I know why..." Josh sniffled and I sat beside him, running my hand through his blonde hair. "I know what you're here to do. I know why." Josh spoke up and stared at me. I'd miss peering into those baby blues every morning. We had to do this clean like ripping off a bandaid.

"Josh, I know you still hold love for your ex fiancé. I  can even tell. I love you so much but I don't want to see you cry over what wasn't. I want you to be happy. Please understand this is for your benefit that we have to separate for good ." I said and Josh looked at me. Josh's blue eyes were full of tears, but they didn't seem sad.

"Pete... I just realized what you'd meant. For better or for worse. I guess we couldn't make it?" Josh laughed wholeheartedly. "Thanks for giving me a chance to be a dad. Thank you for loving me." Josh pecked my lips one last time then smiled at me. I loved how he was being joking about it. I loved making him happy for the time that I did.

"I'm moving back to Los Angeles once everything's finalized. Papers are downstairs on the table." I said, both of us were full of sobbing and tears. My blue eyed wonder couldn't stay here. I was caging him like a blue eyed songbird, and he needed to go. He needed to be happy.

It was the hardest part for us.
I had to let him go, and he'd smiled about it. But we knew it was for the better of us that we had to end this.

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(Josh's POV)

I couldn't be happy. Pete was amazing, sure I loved him but I didn't feel right here anymore. I had to do something to make myself happy.

I opened up my phone and found a familiar number after me and Pete had talked. We needed to separate because it was not right for me, I didn't feel right here anymore and the love was gone.

Seeing Amanda again a while back had brought back old feelings. The guilt I felt years ago because I cheated on her, but I wanted to be with the one true love that I'd had before.

I loved Pete but I had to be where I belonged, and he would surely find someone else. I had to let him be happy and if that meant him saying I need to be happy and have the love I deserve, I had to go to be with my first love again.

I came downstairs the next morning, seeing the boxes. He'd probably send some stuff to Los Angeles today so one of his friends could keep it. "I'm gonna feel bad when you go," I laughed. "Saint's gonna miss his papa."

"He'll have you too, Josh." Pete smiled. "Remember, this is for our benefit. We could end up realizing this was all a mistake and get back together for good this time." Pete smiled.

"We have to promise to let each other be happy. Even if it means letting each other go." I spoke in return, deciding I'd go get Saint from his nursery. The only feature he had from me, was his bright baby blue eyes. I wouldn't regret this. Not one bit. "I just don't want Bronx involved in our mess. I just... I want him to forget you told him that so he gets to see both his parents... Ashlee raised him for the foundation years. I didn't. I don't deserve to be in his life and I don't know him enough to be."

"I'm not letting him forget." Pete smiled and I reluctantly agreed to visitation rather than partial custody because of the distance I lived from our older son.

"I guess this is the last few months we have as being "married" " I laughed. "I got asked out to go for drinks tommorrow with Amanda so she might come over tommorrow..."

"That's fine, Josh, I have FOB stuff to do for the new album the next couple days." Pete said, looking over at me.

I now had Saint in my arms, who was babbling and cooing and sucking his thumb. He was trying to grab my long blonde hair too. I started laughing and that was that.

This was a happy ending even if we weren't together anymore.

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