bobcaygeon | j.r. and p.w.

six | now the apology done, applause can begin.

{Pete's POV) July 6th, 2016

"Pete, you can do this." I reassured myself, holding the Polaroid. Remembering my blue eyed wonder, remembering all of the things about him. The new things I'd learned. If he remembered me, I'd be happy and glad.

I wondered if he remembered  where Bronx had come from. I felt bad and decided not to think about it unless  Josh remembered. Id save it for  if Ashlee didn't want custody anymore of a child that was never her child.

The airplane ride was not easy, my stomach twisting in knots as I walked up to the venue, clad in my hoodie and jeans. I wanted to not look like me, but the band had to not say where I was until Josh said something.

I snuck around the crowd, seeing various people. I heard the whispers and quiet, the world's lips wound until the truth could come out.

"Did you hear? Josh came out!" I heard someone say, and my eyes started to water. Josh came out today.... I shouldn't be here. I felt bad, going up to one of the higher balconies where I'd bought my seat. A few friends of mine had bought tickets to the show so they could watch out for me.

I didn't want to ruin Josh's moment. But they'd arranged for a private meet and greet for me and my friends. I had to ask Josh if he remembered me. We'd been friends in the past, I'd say and maybe just hopefully he'd know who I was and I could get my second chance at a life.

I felt happy, estatic, in my words and I smiled at my friends. I felt so... happy. The atmosphere felt happy, in all ways of what to say about everything that happened in the entire world. I would see Josh again and my mind was starting to ring in applause.

The show began, with the crowd cheering for the band on stage. And I saw Josh officially for the first time in ten years. He looked so healthy and happy, so vibrant and happy, watching him perform.

I felt like the world was setting itself right. He'd always had the performer's energy, the spark in his mind, he'd always been a happy guy when he wasn't depressed or feeling like shit. He was happy with me. But now he was happy without me in his life. The fact that he was happier without me was the best thing in the world and I felt so much sadness I might be disturbing his happiness.

The show went on and on, until the song Dearly Departed came on. I could hear the pain in Josh's voice and my heart started to break, my own eyes starting to break with tears. Was this song about his ex fiancé Amanda?

I didn't even know about any of the meanings behind these songs. He seemed so.... upset when he sang it. I was determined to make him happy, make his life better and make him feel better about himself.

His struggle had its own name, and it was loneliness, and when the show ended, I followed my friends backstage, the security crowding us. The band was excited, of course.

(A/N: the irl Twitter  interaction happened between @mtrench and @petewentz. Josh didn't see it and in this story that is also the case. )

The only factor in all of this was my friends's willingness to say something to Josh and the guys. I walked into the room, looking at them. Josh didn't look much different facially, in my own honesty. But his emotional turmoil had made his blue eyes seen more dull.

"Nice to meet you guys," I flashed a smile, took a photo but  I felt someone's hand grab my arm, and I turned my head to meet the eyes of my blue eyed wonder.

"I think I've met you." Josh spoke, and I tried to see that he remembered but I realized he didn't. I don't know how he could have recognized me without knowing me.

(To be continued in the next chapter which continues chapter five.)