Fighting Feelings

2

Nadia

We slowly step inside the house trying to not make one sound. The lights were off so we thought we had a chance to escape without facing the wrath of my parents but sadly and all of a sudden the lights switch on and both my Mom and Dad are sitting on the couch staring at the both of us.

"So you were supposed to go to Pamela's house but I just got off the phone with Pamela's mom and apparently you weren't there," My Mom begins. I groan internally as I know what's about to come spewing out of their mouths.

"I thought you weren't going to be any trouble boy!" My Father shouts pointing a finger at Caleb.

"I'm sorry," Caleb replies and I stared at him he seemed so alone so hurt. I don't know why and where it came from but I almost felt the need to protect him.

"No I let you take the car because I thought you were visiting your sick father! Not going to a party to drink alcohol and smoke weed!" I couldn't take it any longer.

"Dad!" My parents automatically looked at me in awe.

"Don't get me started on you young lady!"

"Listen don't blame him.... It's my fault! I told him to come to this party to let off some steam!" I said my voice raised. Caleb quickly looked at me confused. Yes I had just saved him. What was I supposed to do? My parents wouldn't go easy on him but as their daughter I may have a chance.

"I expected better from you," My Mom said shaking her head in disappointment.

"I'm sorry but just don't blame him..." I said looking down at the floor.

"I want both of you to go to your rooms! I don't want to see the sight of either one of you!" We both slowly walked up the stairs, Caleb was about to tell me something but before he could, the sound of my fathers voice stopped him.

"Not another word, straight to your rooms," after the second warning we both parted ways and separated.

I changed into my pyjama shorts and a black vest. I laid in my bed when all of a sudden my phone started to ring out loud. I moved away from my novel 'To all the boys I've loved before' and looked at my phone; it was Debbie calling.

"Hey girl!" She said over the phone.

"Hey,"

"What's up?"

"Nothing,"

"You're really going to lie to me?" She was my best friend, of course she knew something was up.

"Fine," I sigh before telling her everything that went down starting from the moment he had come up to me in the club down to my parents coming down on us like a ton of bricks.

"You guys stayed on the beach the whole night," she squeaks even higher.

"Yup and wait that's really the part you're going to take out of this?" I laugh.

"You lay on a beach with this guy for the whole night and let's not forget this is a guy that you used to love," she chuckled.

"No I've already told you I'm not falling for Caleb again, I have a new mindset and it's not to believe in love saves you all the hurt," I tell her as as I sort of told myself too.

"Come on.... You can't say stuff like that, I haven't even given up on love and I have to sit by and watch the guy of my..." She cuts off realising she's opening her mouth.

"Ummmmm what was that?" I ask.

"Nothing," she answers back quickly trying to make me forget.

"No please tell me.... Was that something about the guy of your dreams, tell me," I insist because unfortunately for her I don't forget things that easy.

"I can't," she sighs.

"Why not, we're best friends, you, me and Pamela, we tell each other everything," I say trying to make her more comfortable.

"Exactly... That's the problem," she shudders. Was I missing something?

"I don't understand, is there something you don't want Pam to know?" I ask full of confusion.

"If I tell you something, you have to promise not to tell anyone.... Not even Pamela," this was different to me, since we were little kids we would never exclude anyone of us from our secrets but I guess things were about to change.

"Sure... Now what's up?" I asked trying my best to be there for her.

"Last summer Devonte and I got quite close as friends but we never did anything but it was obvious we both cared about each other, he was going to another state to visit his Dad and he told me that I should meet him before he leaves but then there was an emergency at home my sister had to have an emergency operation and I had to stay home and look after her, so he left and when he came back I found out he was sleeping with Pam,"

All of this information that was flooding out of Debbie's mouth was a shock and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't tell me this information earlier.

"Where and what was I doing that you couldn't tell me this sooner?" I shout over the phone.

"I was going to tell you once I had sorted out my feelings for him but by the time I had done that it was too late he was shacking up with my best friend," she explains and it is understandable.

"Do you still love him?" I ask scared to hear the answer.

"Yes," she sighs. I was dreading that response as this was something that could break our friendship.

"So what are you going to do about it?" I asked. The whole night Debbie and I got into a deep conversation about leaving the past behind us. That included me leaving Caleb in the past and her putting Devonte behind her. Even though, it would be very difficult.

When we had finished on the phone, I became thirsty so I headed downstairs in my shorts and vest whilst I let my natural curls bounce freely.

I got to the counter and poured myself a glass of water. I then felt a presence on the couch and as I turned around the presence managed to be very close. It also happened to be Caleb.

"Are you alright?" He asks me as I choked on my water.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I just didn't expect to see you there," I whisper and put my half empty glass on the counter.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Couldn't sleep," he replies.

"What's that?" I ask reaching for an album that was in his hands.

"Nothing," he steps back being all defensive.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean too," I say analysing the hurt in his eyes.

"Just next time mind your own business," he huffs walking up the stairs. I was about to let him get away with it but I couldn't allow him to speak to me like that.

"You know what...last night I saw a different you and I'm pretty sure that was the real you, why is it so hard to be that guy?" He stopped on the stairs and analysed me from head to toe. He slowly took small steps to me whilst staring into my eyes and then my heart beat faster.

He handed me the album that was in his hand, I looked at him to make sure it was okay for me to open and he nodded.

The first picture was of a woman that looked very much like him. She had huge dark brown braids that were long and so beautiful on her. She was also quite tall and slim the supermodel type. She was holding a little boy in her hands which I assumed was Caleb. I flipped through the rest of the photos and they all seemed to be pictures of this woman.

"Is this your Mom?" I asked.

He nodded in response.

"She's beautiful..." I say and he looks up at me and smiles.

All of a sudden I feel myself backed up against the kitchen counter as he leans against me and we continue to stare into each other's eyes but even though we were so close we couldn't let anything happen. Especially under this roof.

He came close to my ear and whispered the words "you didn't have to take the blame earlier.... I'm a big boy," into my ear. As soon as those words left his mouth, he walked away leaving me baffled and most of all speechless.