Fighting Feelings

11

Caleb

I walked into the hospital with my brothers. They hadn't seen our pops since the accident and it was clear that they missed him a lot.

Aunt Doreen was my Mother's older sister and frankly my father and her didn't get along due to the fact that it didn't take my father long to move on after my mother's death. Actually that was one of the reasons why him and I didn't get along but the boys had always had a good relationship with our father. Although, the accident had put things into perceptive for me.

"Dad!" The boys yell jumping on him as he lay in the hospital bed. The burns were still visible but he was slowly healing which was something I guess.

"My boys," he grinned hugging them back but he looked up to me and waited for me to embrace him into a hug. I hesitated for a split second but I went to join my family for the reunion.

They started to talk about school and how the boys were getting on with their studies. I watched them for an hour chatting, with me once in a while contributing but I had to tell him. The guilt was eating me up hence all the smoking. Stephanie was not the reason I had been smoking earlier in fact she was the least of my worries.

"Jacob, Joseph! Go and get all of us a packet of crisps and drinks from the vending machine," I say giving them the money.

Once they exited my father realised something was not right.

"Alright, what's going on? You're acting weird?" He asked sitting up. "Well more weird than usual..."

"I.... I got mixed up with the wrong crowd Pops," I cried. He looked at me confused.

"When Mom died I messed up, I got in with these people, at first it helped me but then I saw the things they did to people and I wanted no part in it but once you're in there's no out," he looked angry and furious. My vision became blurry by the tears.

"They started the fire Pops! I'm so sorry,"

I thought he would yell at me telling me to leave and to never come back but instead he stood up from the hospital bed and embraced me in his arms.

"I should've been there for you," I hear him say.

"Starting from now I'm going to be here, so how we going to sort this one out?" He asks and I release myself looking at him ridiculously.

"Pops you can't get involved, there's no way that's happening," I tell him. He shakes his head.

"I can pay them off,"

"With what money Dad we've lost all the money we had because of the house, the firm sacked you! Let me handle this I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me," I explain.

"Stop trying to be the tough guy for once in your life," he says before the boys run back in the room passing us the drinks and snacks.

I decided to change the subject since Jacob and Joseph had returned.

"Aunt Doreen's coming into pick them up," I tell him and he groans in response.

"Oh please are you trying to give me a heart attack the last person I want to see is that wretched woman!" He sighs falling back in the bed.

"Dad she's been great to them.... anyways I've got a girl waiting for me," I say quickly hoping he wouldn't understand what I just said but sadly he did.

"I'm hoping you are talking about Nadia, she's a great girl Caleb, she'll hold you down," he tells me. "The same way your mother did for me," he mumbles.

"It's not Nadia Pops, she's just my friend, I guess you could say my best friend," I explain.

"You keep telling yourself that, you didn't sound too convincing," he chuckles and I roll my eyes.