Fighting Feelings

25

Caleb

Aunt Doreen had always been one to know things. After all, she was a very intellectual woman. However, knowing things was one thing but knowing about an elite gang was another. I had no clue how she would be involved or even know about the herd. What if it had something to do with my Mother? I had blocked that part of my life out for a long time, what if when I walked into that house, everything would change.

That is how I ended up in the car with Nadia by my side. We had just came back from the police station, we had to answer some questions. Nadia was still a bit shaken up but she was strong and she knew how to hold everything together but I swore that when she finally broke down about everything, I would be right by her side, the same way she was here.

"What are you thinking?" she asks me looking at me worried.

"I don't even know anymore," I reply honestly, everything was just one huge mess.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" she cups my hand and her warmth gave me strength but this was something I had to do alone.

"I think I have to do this on my own," and she nods in response.

"I'll be waiting," she smiles and kisses my cheek but I swat my head towards hers and our lips brush against each others.

"I wouldn't be able to do this without you," I murmur against her lips.

"Nor would I," she whispers before I open the car door and walk to my Aunt's doorstep.

I knock on the door and when the door swings open I expect to see my Aunt but instead my two brothers come and knock me down.

"Where the hell have you been!" Joseph shouts and I chuckle. I really missed these two, even if it had only been a couple of days.

"Grown up stuff,"

"Boys, don't squeeze your brother to death, Caleb I wasn't expecting to see you today?" My Aunt walked out from the shadows and she had that look on her face. She was intrigued.

"I wasn't expecting to come today... but I guess plans change," I tell her looking straight into her eyes and she could sense what was going on instantly.

"Boys, go and tidy your room and if you do I'll order in your favourite...pizza," my two brothers didn't even bat an eye lid before running up the stairs. I was glad that they had her, after our Mother died, our father had basically neglected all of us. Although, my Aunt had been there for them and she'd been there for me too. 

"So I'm guessing this is about me calling the cops," she says calmly whilst pouring us both glasses of water.

"How did you know?"

She looks at me and for a second it looks as though she is contemplating on what to do. Without saying another word, she gets up from her seat and goes to the drawer and she comes back with a letter in her hand.

"I wasn't sure as to when I should give you this, it's a letter...from your Mom," I look at the letter in her hand and I'm almost confused as to what I am supposed to do with it. I slowly take it from her hand and dwell on my Mother's beautiful handwriting as my name is written on the front.

To my beloved boy Caleb,

I remember holding you in my arms, everything made sense in that moment. Although, that was the day when I learnt what fear meant. My ultimate fear was losing you.
We were happy for a while and then your brothers Joseph and Jacob came along and everything became just a little bit better.
I was always terrified of losing you boys. You mean everything to me. It was after we had built our life as a family, that your father decided to tell me his deepest and darkest secret and if your Aunt listened to me when I said I wanted you to read this when you are eighteen then you most likely know about the Herd. My beautiful boy, if you ever do get stuck in that world, I want you to leave. No, I want you to run as fast as you can because they are dangerous. I don't want that life for you and the boys. I have written other letters for your brothers, I want them to get them when they turn eighteen too. You've always held courage and I want you to use it.

I hope life treats you well, I will always love you.

From your Mother,

Cassandra Daniels

A tear leaked from my eye and stained at my Mother's name. I sealed the letter and put it into my pocket. I looked up at my Aunt Doreen and she also had tears coming from her eyes.

"That night after Isaac told your mother about the herd, she came straight here and told me what happened. She was a mess Caleb, I still remember the distress on her face. She felt as though she didn't know the man she had married. I told her to write you boys letters, to let out her emotions. That was the night she died, Caleb. That drunk driver...." she couldn't continue to say anything she covered her mouth and she let out a muffled cry. I had never seen my aunt like this.

I got up and embraced my Aunt in a hug.

Now everything made much more sense. The reason my Aunt didn't get along with my father wasn't because my father moved on from my mother quickly, it was because she died unhappy. My mother was strong and when she was alive, she was always so happy and content amidst everything that was going on. I guess it was true that you can never know what is going on behind the facade.

Not long after, my aunt explained that she had went to visit my father and he had told her about the discussion we had previously. She told me she called the police as she couldn't take any chances for my well-being. I thanked her for everything and told her I would be back later on in the week.

As I left the house, I felt lighter, it was as though I finally had closure. It still hurt but I believed that it in some way it would always hurt.

I saw Nadia leaning on the car in the distance. I instantly smiled at her and she smiled back.

"You waited," I said as I stood in front of her.

"I told you I would," she smiled as she put her arms around my neck. "Everything sorted?"

"Yeah and I want to tell you that I am sorry for bringing so much drama into your life... it all changes now,"

"Hey as long as we've got each other, I don't care,"

I looked down at her and took my girlfriend in. She was a beauty and not only on the outside. I never would have predicted to be here at this moment, having Nadia Johansen as my girl friend but I thanked God I did.

"Well hey at least you stopped fighting your feelings for me, you've wanted me from day one," I grinned and she gently punches my arm in response whilst laughing at my cockiness.

"Touché," she smirks before going on her tiptoes and kissing me.

THE END

Fighting Feelings is over but Hiding Feelings will also feature Nadia and Caleb.
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