Bucky Barnes' Daughter

Chapter Four

With almost nothing to my name, Natasha, Pepper and Wanda all agreed that I needed to be taken on a shopping trip.  I was weary at first to let them treat me especially when I saw some of the prices on the clothes they were getting me but Wanda assured me that they did the same thing when she joined the Avengers.  

"Come on out!"  Pepper calls as they wait for me to emerge from the dressing room.  I glanced nervously at the mirror before emerging for them to look at the outfit.  The outfit was cute but I wasn't used to being allowed to dress how I wanted. 

"Don't make me break down that door."  Nat teases and finally I come out.

"What do you think?"  Wanda asks in her accent.  I bite my lip studying myself in the mirror.  Everyone waits for me to say something.

"I like it."  I finally reply as I twirl around in the dress.  It was a dark blue and seemed to make me look older which was nice considering most people treated me like I was an adult.  In four weeks I'm going to be fourteen but I honestly felt like I've lived a lifetime.

"You have that look again."  Natasaha approaches me as Pepper and Wanda talk about what else they needed to get me.  "Is everything alright?"

"I'm not sure anymore."  I reply quietly feeling like a little kid.  "I've always known what life had in store for me, even though I'm just a kid.  But now, I'm wondering what's going to happen now that I'm out of that life."

"You'll be happy and you'll find something to look forward to.  If you want you could always become a SHIELD agent.  Fury said he'll consider you when you're sixteen."

"I would like that."  I reply as I'm ushered back into the dressing room with a few more things.  Pepper bought almost everything but when I got back to the compound, Wanda pulled me aside.  "Is everything okay?"  I ask her worried that  I did something wrong.

"Everything's fine."  She assures me as she hands me a giant bag.  "I saw you liked this."  I open up the bag and I find a cat plushy inside.  I hug Wanda as tears fall down my cheeks.

"This means the world to me."  I tell her as she finally hugs me back.  Wanda wouldn't know how much the gift meant.  No one had ever gotten me something because I liked it everything was always out of neccesity.  Pepper kept telling me that I needed clothes so after a while I stopped protesting.  However, the plushy was not necessary but it was something that I would cherish.

We walk back to where the rooms are.  Tony put me across the hall from Wanda because he realized taht we were quickly becoming friends. 

Tony assured me that if I needed anything someone would help and I appreciated the gesture but right now, I just need to figure everything out on my own.  I use the key I was given to open the door to my room.  I couldn't believe what I saw.

Someone had gotten me a new comforter and had tried to decorate the room the way I would like it.  Now, the shopping trip made sense.

"Do you like it?"  Bucky appears next to me and I nod speechless.

"I don't have the english words to describe how happy I am."  I reply in Russian and he smiles as I go inside.  The comforter was a soft purple color and had flowers all across it.  There were pictures on the walls of my favorite musicians and people that I tended to look up to.  "Bucky did you do this?" 

"I wanted to make up for all the times I've hurt you."  He replies.  "I knew you never were given a room that you could call your own and honestly it was nice doing something for someone who clearly deserved it."

"I don't deserve redemption."  I reply bitterly as I think about everything that I've done.  "Bucky, you can't keep trying to make up for everything that happened between us.  You were following orders and I was a stupid kid.  I don't deserve all of this and I certainly don't deserve your forgiveness."  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I couldn't believe that I had told him that I didn't deserve redemption.  I knew it had hurt him especially since he wanted to be able to redeem himself and if a child couldn't then how could he.  I buried my head into Evony, the cat plushy Wanda had given me, as I cried.

I was stupid for saying such hurtful things and I wished I could take them all back.  I want to tell him what had happened the last time we saw each other but maybe he shouldn't remember.  The guilt was eating me up inside though.

No one came to bother me but as my room slowly started to darken as the sun retreated from sight, a single knock sounded against my door.

"Can I come in?"  I still can't place all the new voices but I allowed them to come in anyways.  It was Banner and by the looks of it he knows what i had said.

"I don't want to talk about it."  I mumble as I try to hide under the covers.

"You need to talk about what happened."  Banner tries to argue.

"I can't tell anyone and I certainly can't let Bucky know the truth.  I don't deserve any of your kindness. Honestly, I should probably crawl back to HYDRA and ask for them to take me back.  My brother will kill all of you when he finally tracks me down and trust me it's not an if he tracks me down he will track me down."

"Then let me know why you should go back there.  If anyone understands what it's like, it's Bucky and I but since you won't talk to Bucky, I guess I will have to do." I shake my head as the memories of that night come forward.

"I can't tell you."  I reply quietly.

"You need to tell someone." He studies me as I fight the flood of tears.  I never used to cry especially not in front of people but the way Banner is looking at me, starts to break down all of the walls I had built up to protect myself.

"You don't understand, I can't tell you."  He sits there in silence for a few minutes before getting up.  "When you're ready to talk, you know where to find me."