Bucky Barnes' Daughter

Chapter Seventeen

Bucky's POV:

"She needs to be enrolled in school."  Rhodey argues as we try to decide what to do with my daughter.  Captain agrees with me that Serenity wouldn't be able to handle going to a normal school and we weren't going to send her to a boarding school where we can't protect her.

"Shouldn't it be up to Bucky?"  Clint asks.  "He is her father."

"And he knows what's best for her?"  Rhodey still hasn't moved past the fact that it's the civil war caused by Bucky that left him partially paralyzed.  "We've all seen Serenity's scars.  He caused most of them."

"Can we also add that her brother caused the rest?"  Nat interjects.  "Bucky should decide what happens to Serenity.  He's her father."

"But she doesn't even know that."  Iron man finally decided to join the conversation.

"Can't we just ask Serenity what she feels is best?"  Clint leans back tiredly.  "She's going to be fourteen after all..."

"Wait when is she turning fourteen?"  Captain asks.  I was wondering the same thing but then again I haven't been paying that much attention to Serenity's age.  I was more worried about her making it after being beaten to death.

"Her birthday is tomorrow, not that any has been paying attention."  Clint stands up and heads towards the doors.  "Serenity needs control over what's going on.  She's never had a choice up until now and now you're all taking it away from her.  She's a teenager not a pet."  He leaves before we could add anything.

"Can we throw her a birthday party?"  I look at everyone's faces.

"I think that's a fantastic idea."  Nat gets up to leave.  "I'm going to start planning the party."  I follow the assassins out of the room.  "You need to advocate for her."  Nat chastises.

"I didn't even know I had a daughter, now everyone's expecting me to make all the decisions about her life.  I was never meant to be a father."  I sigh heavily as my mind races to all the times I've caused my daughter to cry.

"Stop beating yourself up about that.  You have the rest of her life to make up for it."  Nat puts a hand on my shoulder gently.  "Clint and I will help you figure this out.  They might not understand what it's like but we can help you."

"Thank you." 

We managed to make our way to the mat room where Serenity was stretching with Clint.

"Shouldn't you be resting?"  I ask trying to act like I was her friend not her worried father.

"Banner said I could do things as long as I was careful.  Anyways, we're just stretching.  I wasn't going to do anything else, I promise."  Her green eyes search mine as I force a small smile.

"Just be careful."  I remind her before I start my workout routine.  SHIELD is considering taking me on for smaller missions but Natasha and Clint would be my partners any time I went out.  They haven't started trusting me alone just yet.

"Can I learn gymnastics?"  Serenity asks no one in particular.  I remembered the few lessons she earned when she was around ten for agreeing to the experiments HYDRA put her through.  She had been learning more from YouTube but i guess she wanted a formal education.

"I'll talk to Captain."  Natasha offers and Serenity genuinely smiles.  "Speaking of learning something, we need to enroll you in school."  

"But I've never attended school before and I don't speak English very well." 

"We could send you to Xavier's."  Clint offers her the options.  "SHIELD also has an academy, or you could go to school online."

"Are you trying to send me away?"  Serenity stands up and grabs her crutches.  "I'm sorry I was kidnapped.  I'm sorry I ran away.  I'll be good, just don't send me away."  She was crying at this point.

"We're not sending you away."  I couldn't focus in Russian any longer.

But the damage was already done.  Serenity manages to quickly leave the room before we even thought to stop her.  I wanted to run after her and explain what was happening but I would make things worse.

"I wasn't meant to be a father."  I stand up sadly.

"I'll go talk to her."  Natasha offers as she stands up.

"No, give her some space."  Clint lays back against the mat.  "We can't keep forcing her to talk to us.  You two don't talk about your past, so why do you keep forcing Serenity to talk about her past and what's she's feeling right now?  Give her a break and once she's ready, she'll come to you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I found my way to Banner's lab.  Usually I would have found a reason to avoid the place but I didn't feel welcome anywhere else at this point.  I've also been meaning to ask him when I could get the cast taken off.

"Hi Banner."  He smiles and waves me over to the microscope he was examining.

"Take a look."  I hesitantly take a look.  I was looking at a stand of DNA and I smile knowing it was mine.  "Cool, huh?" 

"That's my cat DNA."  I didn't need to ask because I've seen my DNA under a microscope before but it was interesting seeing it after all these years.  It looked different from the last time I saw it.

"How did you know?"  He studies me for a few minutes.  "Yes, and this is your human DNA."  He puts another slide on the microscope.  I didn't wait for him to readjust the microscope because I already knew how.

"Have you isolated the x-gene yet?"  I ask as I give him a chance.

"Not on your DNA yet but I'm getting close."  He makes notes on a clipboard for a second.  "Who taught you how to use a microscope?"

"One of the nicer scientists.  He also gave me math and science homework when HYDRA wasn't watching.  He said I needed to have an education so I could survive without HYDRA's help."  I stop talking as I remember what befell him.

"What happened to him?"  Banner asks as he gently puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I killed him."  I say coldly.  "I put the gun to his temple and I pulled the trigger.  He had a wife and three kids waiting for him back in Germany."  I always wondered what happened to his family.  "He was the first person I killed."  I inform Banner.

"And he wasn't your last."  The statement made me cringe.

"No.  He was just one of many.  But he was one of the ones I remembered.  I don't remember everyone I killed.  I remember the remarkable ones or the ones who pleaded for their lives. But not all of them.  I couldn't have remembered all of them."