Bucky Barnes' Daughter

Chapter Nineteen

Dima slept at the end of the bed and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe sleeping in my room.  Sometime in the night I had a nightmare and my new protector woke me up and then curled up next to me so I was safe.

"Hush, Dima."  Natasha whispers to my dog as he gives a warning growl.  "Нет." She finally tells him in a harsher voice.  "Serenity, it's time to get up."  Nat sits on the edge of my bed and gently moves my hair away from my face.

"I'm tired though."  I reply and Dima barks once as if he wanted to tell Nat that I should sleep.  "See Dima even agrees."

"You have to get up."  Nat turns on the lamp on my night stand and I pull the covers over my head.  "Unless you don't want to learn gymnastics..."

"Wait really!"  I sit up quickly and she laughs.  "Am I really starting gymnastics today?"

"Yes and Nikolai will be arriving soon to start teaching you and Dima."  Nikolai must be the man who will teach Dima how to protect me.  I smiled as Nat left the room, and I started getting ready for the day.

Dima starts pushing me towards the door after about ten minutes and i knew he needed to be let out.  I quickly slip on converse before chasing my dog down the hallways.  He wouldn't run too far ahead of me because he knew I couldn't keep up with him.  I open the door and Dima slips outside.

"Are you sure that it's not a bear?"  Banner asks me as he stands next to me in the morning light.

"Yes, but he can fight bears."  I inform him, having read up on the breed in the past.  "He can rip a grown man's arm off.  It's kind of cool."

"You have a sick concept of cool."  Tony walks into the kitchen tiredly.

Dima comes bounding my way and i smile as he quickly returns to my side.  A guard dog is exactly what I needed especially after this past encounter with my brother.

"Kolya will be here soon."  Nat calls to me and I nod before going to the front door.  Nat stays close to my left side and Dima takes my right.  "Have you figured out any of the commands?"

"A few.  Dima's a smart dog."  I ruffle Dima's fur and his tail starts wagging.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Natasha has told me a lot about you."  Nikolai tells me as we sit on the front steps of the Avengers building.  "Although, I would like to learn more about you."  He studies me as I wrapped my fingers in Dima's fur.  "I wouldn't hurt you."

"It's not you."  I assure him but my voice came out barely above a whisper.  "I'm not sure I can trust myself."

Nikolai puts a hand on my shoulder gently.  Dima picks up his head and watches the man closely, as if he was warning him not to hurt me.  I fight the tears and for the first time in a long time, they don't fall down my cheeks.  Instead, I put on the mask that I grew accustomed to having .  It protected me from the men who wished to exploit my weakness.  Now, it was protecting me from the emotions that always threatened to drown me.

"Let's start with an easier subject... where are you from?"  I laugh light heartedly knowing he wasn't given my full backstory or he would know that wasn't an easier question.

"I was raised somewhere in Siberia.  Don't ask me where because I'm not sure but I knew we were far from civilization."  I inform him and I wait for the next question.

"Do you have any siblings?"  I visibly cringe and he realizes he's hit a nerve.  "You don't have to answer my questions."

"His name was Lev.  We're twins but we were opposites in every aspect of the word.  That's why they wanted to use us because Lev wanted to protect me.  I was his little sister and I wanted to protect him because it's in my nature....But he's dead to me now."

"He's still alive?"  Nikolai notices when I tense up.  Dima pushes his head against my leg and pulls me out of my flashback.  I nod.  "Is he the one who hurt you?"  Nikolai motions to the bruises that were still fading and the brace on my knee.

My leg healed for the most part but apparently I tore a ligament sometime during the time I was at HYDRA.  The brace helped when I couldn't stand the pain.

"Да." I look away.

"Dima will protect you now."  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I sit up in bed quickly as I feel Dima pushing against my hand.  The room was icy cold as I pulled the covers closer around my body.  My protector curls up closer to me on the bed and I bury my head in his soft fur.

I couldn't remember the nightmare but I remember the pain that it caused me.  My brother won't give up on me.  Even Dima won't be able to protect me when he comes for me again.  Lev doesn't give up on his missions and I was his most important one.

"He won't stop."  I whisper into Dima's fur and the dog whines in response.

He'll never stop looking for me.  The only way to stop him is to kill him.  But I couldn't do that.  He's my other half, we're different halves to the same coin.  I don't remember the last time I interacted with my brother, but I know he's been gone for too long.  There's no saving him.  I need to come to grips with that.

If I could move on, maybe I could free him.  Maybe one day I can separate myself from the memories that bind me to him, then I would put a bullet between his eyes.  

At that point, we'd both be free.