KISMET (KISMET SERIES - BOOK 1) (BOOKS 1, 2, 3 COMPLETE... BOOK 4 IN PROGRESS)

KISMET Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I woke to a dark room, curtain still drawn blocking out the day. I looked around. Liam was on the edge of the bed fully clothed.

Even though I couldn't see his face in the dark I knew something was wrong.

"You are going to leave me aren't you?" I whispered.

He nodded. Still just a dark shadow to me. I was glad I couldn't see his face as the memory would hurt too much.

"Ok," I whispered and turned over in the bed so my back was facing him. I didn't want to watch him leave.

I wasn't going to cry, fuck that, if he wants to leave....LEAVE! He told me he was emotionally inept so it was only to be expected. I wouldn't make him feel bad about it.

I removed myself emotionally from the situation. I became limp, my eyes closed, all I would do is listen. I wouldn't talk to him or engage in anyway. That way I couldn't lash out defensively and say hurtful things that I may later regret.

I felt his hand touch mine. He tried to lift it but because I had shut down it just flopped out of his hand like an unconscious persons. I lay there, breathing shallow and steady, as I ignored his touch. He rolled me over onto my back so he could see me properly.

"I am sorry," he whispered "But it won't work and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have," he said. His hand stroked my cheek. "Please just look at me one more time so I can apologise properly and then I will leave," he said.

I ignored him. Eyes still closed, body still, breathing calmly.

"Shannon, please just look at me," he pleaded.

I ignored him.

"Please, I need to know you don't hate me...." he said as his voice cracked and his breathing changed. Was he crying? No don't look. I told myself. "Please Shannon," he said.

I ignored him.

He was the one deciding to leave. Am I suppose to feel sorry for him and make him feel better so he can leave with a clean conscience.

He leant forward and rested his head against my stomach, hugging me tight.

Don't do it! Don't look! I told myself. I lay still, breathing steady, I was a statue, a floppy lifeless, unloved statue.

His hand caressed my cheek, "Baby please look at me?" he pleaded his voice strained. "Just for a second and I will go," he promised.

Baby! He calls me baby now of all the times.... Grrrrr! Fine lets get it over and done with. I thought to myself. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Shit!!! He had been crying. I looked away as my heart lurched forward wanting to hug him. I closed my eyes as tears filled them and concentrated on steadying my breathing.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Just as a tear escaped from my right eye, quickly followed by the left as the tears leaked from unopened eyes and there was no way I could contain them and the sobbing that was trying to punch its way out.

He leant forward and kissed me. I didn't kiss him back. "I love you," he whispered barely audible but I heard it. He left whilst I still lay there in shock.

I burst into tears as soon as the front door closed.

So this is what is feels like to get dumped I thought. I had never been dumped before. I had always called it quits or just had one night stands. I was never one for commitment, I was a commitment phob. I had never even came close to feeling anything like this for someone before, let alone had the conversations we had just had about falling for each other.... Oh god.... I broke down sobbing as hard as I could, sod the neighbours.